taz99

oh my! reminds me of my brother. he was in his 30's and flying first class from Dublin to Washington. he was single and thrilled to be seated next to an Alicia Silverstone lookalike. he said the food in Ireland had upset his digestive system though, and he spent the entire flight passing gas quietly while in his seat. he said of his attractive seatmate - "Luckily were the silent but deadly types, so she didn't know I was the one doing them."

having been trapped in a car on many childhood family vacations with this guy, I knew otherwise. "Oh, she knew," I told him.

taz99

that is a magnificent story!

kochleffel

I did this once on CDG-MUC when I had misconnected, didn't plan on being on CDG at all, and was barely conscious. I was willing to move when I understood it, but the man whose seat I had taken offered to sit across the aisle instead.

kochleffel

In that vein: I once paid £5 instead of $5 for wine on US, when I had both currencies.

Madone59

Flying IAH-SAN two years ago I was in 1A, and 2A had some seriously strong and audible gas. FA saw me turning green and gave me a can of air freshener spray. For the rest of the flight I periodically spray it under my seat towards him or between the seat and the wall towards him.

I'd say that is the worst thing I have ever done on a flight.

superduner

I think that possibly I am going to "win" this one. A dubious honour.

I used to fly out of Dubai a lot, usually on Emirates. For some of that period I was a gold card holder, and back in the day it usually enabled me to get an exit seat (in economy, of course).

This particular trip, to Munich if I remember it correctly, I was opposite a jump seat, where crew sat for landing. The FA sitting there was a European male who just would not stop trying to make conversation. I had just come off a long spell of long, arduous days at work and just wanted a bit of peace and quiet.

Eventually he asked why I was travelling to Germany. Business or pleasure...?

I told him that I was travelling to bury my twin brother who had just been killed in a car accident (not true, of course - I did not have a twin brother). His face fell, and he didn't say another word.

jojojo

I believe that looking out of a plane window is about the most amazing thing, especially when you are flying over parts of the world that you'll never, ever have a chance to see otherwise. So, I'm the guy on the long haul flights who keeps his window open. (I don't actually feel bad about it, but know that others feel that I should.)

GaxxyFlyer

On Eurostar once I fell into a really deep and comfortable sleep. The kind of sleep you sometimes fall into in your favourite armchair at home.
I awoke, feeling really relaxed like I was actually at home. I gave out a big yawn, a huge stretch and one of the biggest rasping farts of my life. I instantly remembered that I was actually in a very busy Eurostar cabin and noticed the horrified look on my wife's face next to me. And then the looks from everyone else.

We were still nearly an hour from Paris.

apeortdz

I was flying from GIG-MIA on an overnight flight in 2000. I was in a coach row - heavy woman stranger in D, my wife in E, and I was in seat F. I had to pee badly at the start of the flight and asked D and E to let me out. About 20 minutes later I had to pee again (I had consumed a lot of water) and the lady in D say "Again?" in a rude way. Anyway, I used the restroom again. About 30 minutes later I had to pee again and the lady in D was sleeping. So I just pulled out the airsick bag, hid my business under the blanket, and peed into the bag. Many hours later, when the lady in D woke and got up to pee, I also got up and took the bag and emptied in in the toilet. Never spilled a drop and my wife in E was totally unaware of what I did.

donaldsc

+1. I love looking outside of airplane windows. I rarely get a window seat but when I do, the window stays open whether anyone else likes it or not. My seat; my window.

DON

thewire

I had a kid kicking my seat and kept looking at his parents to make him stop. They too told me that he was young. I said good; if he keep kicking my seat, I will drop kick both of you (parents) when I get off the plane.

Proudelitist

I put ice cubes in the purse of my seatmate who had been abusive to the FA. When she got up to use the lav, in they went.

WyomingBrian

Not me, but made me go

In the recent snowstorm on the east coast, my AC flight was diverted, along with 8 others, to Toronto instead of Montreal. Toronto was then promptly closed. 8 planes worth of pax, and AC staff (all 4 of them) were working their way though the line directing people to an area with food and stuff. One passenger started arguing with a young lady AC staff, as escalated to the point where he screamed "I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE UNTIL I TALK TO A MAN"

8 planes worth of passengers were crickets.

WyomingBrian

This is incredible.

NotSoFrequentColorado

You guys are amateurs! I'm guessing people who have actually done something BAD are not admitting it: Peeing on the lav floor during turbulence and not attempting to clean it up. Puking on your seatmate. Peeing in the aisle (Gerard Depardieu). Refusing to turn off devices (Alec Baldwin). Stealing beverages off the cart. Whatever. (BTW I have done NONE of these and can't think of a really bad thing I've ever done on a plane).