stut

Another trip I can think of was much later on, when a large group of us went to Belgium to see a couple of friends-of-friends over there. I tend to organise things like this because, well, I'm normally the only one who can be bothered with the inevitable cat-herding, and I'm pretty good at getting a decent price.

However, one of the group, let's call her 'L' this time, was the kind of person who liked to be in charge. She didn't actually know what she wanted, she just wanted to be in charge (I know this kind of person, but at the time, wasn't quite so practised in giving them the illusion of control...) She was quite insistent that the entire group stay together at all times, which made the first part of it the inevitable series moments of standing around somewhere waiting for something to happen, while she tries to make up her mind.

Again, this reached the limits of my patience when she insisted that we all wander round a particular shop, before getting on the metro to go to the Gare du Midi to catch a train that would take us through the Gare du Nord (which was about a 2 minute walk from where we were). So I snapped, split the group into three, according to what they actually wanted to do, walked to the Gare du Nord, and suffered her pointedly not speaking to me for the rest of the trip.

ProleOnParole

I didn't notice your response before. I think I already answered what I meant by "plans are meant to be changed" in post #35 (written at the time you were posting) but just to be clear, I don't condone such behavior, and in fact try to proactively prevent it by keeping people I consider capable of it not in a position to inflict any damage. In other words, I wouldn't let her be in charge, and would particularly keep an eye on her the following day. It's just that if it already happened, it's not worth it to stress out over it, especially as Grand Canyon is not the worst of places to be stuck in for an extra day -- perhaps unless it was your daughter's wedding you'd be running late for.

In general, I think it's more productive not to think in terms of "people are such and such" but adopting the right approach to deal with a person. So, regarding the second situation, when I travel with others, before I head for the airport, I ask them: "Do you have your passports? Show me!" (and check my own at the time as well). I think habits like this can preemptively avert potential problems before they have a chance to become serious.

I'm still before my first. Thanks for asking though!

mrs_deb

My husband and I took a Caribbean cruise with a couple that brought zero cash of any sort, no debit cards, and just an American Express card, which unlike Visa, is not accepted "everywhere you want to be", and certainly not in straw markets on tiny islands.

We ended up paying for EVERYTHING off the ship (and got reimbursed in the end, of course), but it got old fast hearing, "Well, we don't have any money, soooooo.......".

GetSetJetSet

This AWFUL, AWFUL Monegasque girl I have known for ~10 years. I have only spent time with her in 2-3 hours chunks. A group dinner, drinks, out at a bar, etc...and she was always pleasant enough in those settings, if a bit neurotic. The last few years, I think her mental health has been going downhill.

Anyway, I planned a multi-week group trip with some close friends around new years to Goa, Zanzibar, Hong Kong and the Philippines. This girl invited herself along on the ENTIRE trip, and I figured, what the heck, why not.

By the time we finished connecting from Mumbai to Goa, the first stop, everyone else in the group hated her. She treated them all like garbage, almost as if they were her servants. On top of that, she showed up on the trip with no working cell phone, no debit card, no credit card and roughly 1,000 euro in cash.

On the way from Goa to Dar Es Salaam, she misconnected in Doha, because she accidentally booked DOH-DAR the day AFTER the rest of us were scheduled to fly. We had ~4 hours in Doha airport, and she didn't think to mention this until we were boarding, then became incredulous when we all refused to skip the flight in order to help her figure it out.

She (unfortunately) soldiered on and made it to Zanzibar the next day. She showed up with no reservation and said she had to stay in my room and mentioned she spent all 1,000 of the euros she had on the hotel she needed for one night in Doha and asked us to cover her, saying she'd pay us back at the end of the trip.

As you can imagine, everyone began just outright ditching her and hoping she'd miss a flight somewhere along the way and get the picture and give up and go home...that never happened. She stayed for THE ENTIRE trip and managed to rub everyone she met on every continent the wrong way. As an added bonus, when the trip concluded, she decided since we had tried to avoid her, that absolved her of the responsibility of paying us back.

We've since instituted a system that no new people can come on trips unless 3/4 of the group votes yes, to avoid "Nathalie situations."

darthbimmer

I've got a friend "Roy" whom I've traveled with many times. In general I do like traveling with Roy but one challenge he presents when it comes to travel is that he enjoys setting really ambitious goals that have almost no chance of working out. And I can't tell Roy they won't work; he won't take no for an answer!

I've learned that the way to deal with Roy is to let him have his dreams. ...Because that's what they are: dreams. And that's why he's so defensive when I confront him with the reality of planning, time, costs, etc. By bringing reality into the picture I am literally crushing his dream. I've learned it's better not to engage him on the topic. Instead I agree, "Yeah, that would be nice to do," while gently making alternate plans that almost always end up being what we do instead.

SanDiego1K

I'm surprised no one has brought up the issue of different fitness levels/stamina. I have a friend who loves long hikes and is indifferent to food. I am the polar opposite. She wanted us to go to Newfoundland. Once there she had a plethora of lengthy hikes, kayaking, and other physical activity that she wanted to do. She knows me. Why would she ever think that I in any way would joyously set forth each morning on a 10 mile hike? Ha! I admire those of you who do, but that is not me. I, on the other hand, want to see natural beauty, find historic sites to tour, and have a great meal once a day. Even when I brought up these matters, she continued to want me as a travel companion. My strategy was to leave the flight planning to her, knowing she had no idea how to accomplish it. She still mourns the trip never taken.

Non-NonRev

Domestic business travel - a guy transferred in from a different division. Seemed ok, if very quiet.

First trips together, other members of the team found out that his refusal to eat meals with the team was because his wife had ordered him to eat every meal at McDonalds, Taco Bell or the like (we got a per diem amount with no recepits required).

The wife wanted the money for herself (If the per diem was $40 in late 80s dollars, he was expected to spend no more than $12.00, netting the greedy shrew $28 per day).

saxman66

Not the worst, but I took a travel companion to NYC once. She had really never been outside of Texas. While the bulk of the trip went okay, she was a very picky eater. I picked out all these cool restaurants to eat, but she wouldn't eat anything except pick at a salad. So of course we had to stop at Burger King on the way back. Next night I tried to pick a place with more "American" food, but that was too authentic for her. Fast food again.

On the way home, I scored an upgrade and I let her experience it instead while I took coach. She was excited about that.

invisible

Picky eaters are another story - especially these who don't eat certain food not because of health reason but because they don't want to.

We had a guest arriving in Singapore from Bay Area who eats only organic food. On the first day of arrival she requested to go to such food store and got what she wanted. Now, there is no problem finding organic food in Singapore, it just matter of price (one day of supplies cost her $50). But it is different situation when going to Vietnam, Cambodia and Indonesia.

Fortunately to us, she is a reasonable person - I told her quite frankly before departure that if she starts to search for organic food during the trip she is on her own and we are not going to have common plans except be on the same flight. At the end she liked every street food we ate and now wants to go back to Vietnam and says that vietnamese food in States is all fake.

I simply do not go on a trip with people who can't hike 5 miles or are not able to walk up 150 steps. They are filtered out from the beginning.

invisible

And she got away with that? On your and your companions' place I would sue her at small claims court. Even if I did not get anything, it would teach her a lesson.

darthbimmer

I mentioned this tangentially, as "compatible" desires/abilities, because matching activity levels is such an obvious thing that anyone who's gone on at least one trip with other people in their life should have figured it out already. I did at age 7.

fimo

Differing activity levels can be mitigated as long as there is no expectation to be joined at the hip 24/7, where travellers are self-aware, have similar philosophies to planning and most of all are considerate.

I've travelled with friends where we may have diverse interests but enough common touchpoints that we enjoy travelling together and the opportunity to have company over meals and some shared activities. And even if we are going to a common location, we feel comfortable enough to say 'hey, we'd rather skip this and walk on ahead' or 'I'll take a break at a cafe you continue exploring', and then reconvene at another point.

The worst co-travellers are those who say they are fine with anything and everything, but really are not, and also cannot bear to do anything on their own.

adrouault

Well maybe I shouldn't be reading this thread today... Flying with my girlfriend to Paris this evening.

wrp96

Absolutely.

In contrast to last year's fun in NYC, a few weeks prior I was in Europe for 2 weeks with a large group with varying interests and activity levels. And we had an amazing time because it was an "if you want to join me while I do this, you are welcome, but no one's going to be upset if not" and we'd meet up for a meal or a drink, or for a picture stop at an amazing point. This mean that some would go off riding bikes or on hikes, while I took it easy by the pool and rested my feet so that I was ready to join them in the nightclub for dancing that night. And no one was sick of each other's company by the end of the trip.

Badenoch

A preoccupation with money makes for a very irritating travel companion. A sister-in-law who is quite comfortable financially will use the calculator on her smart phone to break down a restaurant bill to determine everyone's share. "You had the cocktail, she had the chicken....." I picked up the tab a couple of times just not to go through her rigamarole.

She unspooled on me when I booked the four of us London-Edinburgh by train in First. "First CLASS!!! How much will that cost?" The fact was I found an off-peak, group rate discount on-line that meant First was only a couple of pounds more than the standard fare. No good deed goes unpunished.

A week in the UK constantly featured her carping about the price of everything from Tube rides to theatre tickets. "OMFG, do you know how much that is Canadian?!!!" Yes, compared to Canada things in the UK are usually more expensive but we knew that beforehand and if it bothers you that much stay the hell at home.