I normally fly shorter, non-stop trips, thus when my son just baaaaarely missed his connection I was caught off-guard as to what to do next. With his confirmation number and birthdate at my disposal I called the airline and obtained a seat assignment for the first flight out in the morning before he made it to the front of the queue at the customer service desk at the airport. Ultimately an all's-well-that-ends-well story. However...

What are the first three things one should do if you think you will miss your connection?
What are the first three (five?) things one should do if you missed your connection?
What pushed this miss connection over-the-top is he had to gate-check his bag on the first flight, thus wasted ten minutes waiting for his bag to be delivered to the jetway. Should he have abandoned his bag on the jetway with the strong assumption that ultimately it would have found it's way to the final destination (i.e., a $75 delivery fee would have been cheaper than a hotel room)?

If you think you'll miss a connection before boarding the first flight (e.g. delay, short connection + IRROPS, security event at connecting airport, etc):
1. Make yourself aware of any alternative routings to your destination, preferably on the same airline, next best same alliance or lastly partner airline. Request re-booking at your origin.

This has worked from me when I was flying HYD - BOM - JNB - CPT and HYD - BOM was delayed. I was flying Jet Airways + SAA ticketed by Jet. There was a Jet flight already boarding HYD - AUH, so I requested (and got) a rebooking HYD - AUH - JNB - CPT.

2. If you are at the connection point and see you missed it:
Find the transfer desk or another ticket desk and request rebooking on the next available flight of any carrier. Often they'll rebook on the same carrier but if there is a significantly earlier flight on a different carrier (or no other flight on your original carrier but another carrier has a flight) they could rebook you on that. Generally they have discretion so requesting a specific flight can be done.

Again, be aware of all possible routings to your destination including additional connections if it gets you there quicker.

Once I missed my originating flight on TK (HAJ - IST - CPT), due to traffic accident. Not TK's fault and no obligation to rebook, however long layover in IST + another TK flight out of MUC + an Air Berlin flight HAJ - MUC about to depart allowed me to request rebooking MUC - IST and had to purchase HAJ - MUC. In the end flight overbooked + standby meant I didn't get on but it was the best option given the situation.

All in all, be aware of your options and make sure the agent is aware of them, too. Walk a little if it gets you an emptier desk with an agent.

no ... while waiting for the gate-checked luggage to be delivered, he should have engaged the gate agent to contact the departure gate to make that agent aware that there would be a "runner" ... even better, knowing that it would be close, call the airline during taxi-in to at least get the process started (having status helps here)

This is where I might have dropped the ball. Prior to the conversation where they confirmed him for the first flight the next morning, I was on the phone with a service rep. In that first conversation she informed me that the connecting flight had yet to start boarding (this was right at the time of scheduled push-back), so I thought he was in decent shape to make the connection. What should I have said to "...get the process started"?

1. Always check with the arrival GA. Your connecting flight may take a last second delay and there may still be a seat available. It may be better to sprint than to argue. Do understand that the major carriers no longer call the other gate. There is no need. The departure gate agent can see that you have arrived and operations will make a decision about holding the onward flight (very, very unlikely) and isn't going to base that on hysterical phone calls. When seconds count, wasting them on "call the gate" stuff is silly.

2. Depending on the carrier, whether it is international or domestic and how complex the routing is: do not get yourself directly involved. The worst screw-ups occur when one agent is reissuing a ticket (which may be necessary) while you are on the phone making other changes. It is pretty routine to have the passenger wind up with a new reservation, but the ticket attached to the old reservation and then unable to board. Make a choice. One or the other of you deals with the carrier.

3. Always have alternatives in mind. Start with the carrier, then with the alliance and then other carriers. You are much more likely to get something palatable if you can feed the agent exactly what you want.

4. Get on the phone and get in line. Whoever helps you first, stick with them. It's not either or. All of this suggests having backup battery power for your mobile.

5. As others note, don't hang around the jetway for luggage. Find an agent and then worry about retrieving the gate check.

6. If in a real mess, evaluate (presuming you aren't a member), the value of paying for one-time lounge access (presuming domestic location with a lounge). Spending $50 or thereabouts may save a whole lot more.

Keep the stress out of the conversation. No matter how desperate, losing your temper, telling agents how important you are or other things not directly relevant to the immediate problems) gets you lousy service. Even if the entire incident is 100% the carrier's fault and was easily avoidable, pick your battles. If you want to complain when you get home, that's fine. But, in the moment, if your flight has left, it's not coming back and the agent can't build you a new plane on the spot.

7. If you are stuck overnight and the misconnect is for reasons beyond the carrier's control, e.g. weather, you are likely on your own in the US. Ask for a local phone # for distressed traveler hotel rates and you may find a decent deal somewhere nearby with a free shuttle. If you can't take the risk of eating the cost of an occasional overnight, make sure that you have travel interruption insurance through one or another source.

Often1 - can you expand on the value of gaining access to a lounge (e.g., better customer service)?

the GA working the onward flight can see that your inbound flight has blocked in ... the GA has absolutely no visibility into whether the rampers are offloading the gate-checked bags in a timely manner, whether the jetway driver has had to reposition the bridge four or five times in order to let pax deplane, etc

contacting the departure gate may indeed prove fruitless, but asking the arrival GA to do so (to provide said visibility into when you will actually start running in that direction) certainly can't hurt

I was on a KUL DXB MAN routing and the inbound to KUL was severely delayed so I knew I would miss my connection. At the time I had no status but I did have forward thinking. The next flight was going to mean 8 hour delay with a short hotel stay with little chance of sleep. The next but one flight meant a 15 hour delay which meant a decent night sleep in the hotel. While still in KUL I requested that I be put on the next but one flight so by the time we arrived in DXB I was all sorted with the best option whereas most of the other passengers had to start their rebook in process. If you know you'll miss the connection then sort it as soon as you can (this only works for longer delays where there's no chance you might make it).

This was the type of feedback I was looking for. Thx.

Often1 has a great list. I would put "3. Always have alternatives in mind" in the #1 slot. Sounds paranoid, but it has saved me before on delays and connections. Good for piece of mind. I have taught my older kids this as well and there are times when it has saved a few tears.

Also, it is my experience the lounges have the best agents and the shortest lines.

The first thing you should do if you think you will miss it is call the airline and make arrangements assuming you will miss it. Sometimes however, airlines will insist that you actually miss it before they change anything. Depends on the airline. I recommend calling over standing in line with some agent at the airport. Calling is usually faster, you can do it sitting down, and you usually get a better option. However, you have to be SURE you are going to miss it. Once I got stuck in traffic, and was absolutely certain I was going to miss the flight by at least 45 minutes. I got on the phone with the airline while on the shuttle, however I was on hold so long that I made it to the airport by the time someone picked up. And by then I was in the terminal, saw the board, and realized that my flight was 3 hours delayed so I was not going to miss it after all. Had I gotten someone earlier, I may have cancelled a flight I could have actually made and not known it.

If you have missed it already, make arrangements for the next flight if you haven't already. If that's not going to be that day, get a hotel and food voucher (if the fault is the airline's..if it's yours or tough crap). Remember also that if the airline is part of a carrier alliance, you may get out on another partner carrier. You may also be able to catch another flight from a nearby airport and you can even get the airline to foot the transport between airports. For example, LAX or BUR, ORD or MDW. If you missed the connection but your bags did not for some reason, get the number of the luggage office at the destination airport so you can begin to make arrangements for your luggage to get picked up later.

Don't forget to contact all people and organizations that were expecting you. For example, your hotel..if you miss the check-in day, they may cancel your entire reservation. Rental car companies too. And whomever was going to pick you up at the airport. It helps to do this after you have made your flight arrangements so you have a specific time they can update to.

Be prepared to lose whatever booked seat you had, and to end up on standby.

On US-domestic itineraries, I have had really good luck paying for wifi, getting on twitter, and corresponding with @united or @deltaassist while inflight.

I have been blocked on alternate connections, ensuring that even if I don't make it, I have a seat to the destination.

However, this doesn't help you with hotels/bags/etc. At that point, you just have to get in line. The social media and telephone agents can help you rebook your flights, but they can't help you book hotels or find your bags.

When directed to the Desk in miscon situations to rebook, I always also immediately get on the phone and call the airline while I'm in the queue.

Many times, you can get your situation rebooked or resolved before you get to the counter.

I have even done this from the plane as it taxis into the terminal. If I have touched down late after the connection is gone. I had it resolved by the time I deplaned, only having to go and pick up my new tix from a counter. Everyone else on that plane who missed the same connection was scrambling for a place in the line. The miracles of moden phones....

If there's a delay and we're sitting on the ground where we're allowed to use cell phones, I'll call, explain that there seems to be a WX or MX on my flight, and ask to be protected on a later flight, both to substitute for the one where I'm currently waiting, and also for any downstream connections that I might miss. In fact, on a recent flight I wasn't thinking and temporarily forgot to do this but then noticed a guy near me trying to make the call. I hit my elite line and was rebooked while he was on hold waiting for a phone agent to answer. Priceless!