"Commuting' to Luxembourg?
 

I feel for your wife.

Back in the 1960s early 1970s when I was a teenager, my father's job transferred twice. Moving the wife, kids, furniture, etc, never coincided with the beginning/ending of the job, so my dad commuted between Wichita and Atlanta, then later between Wichita and Los Angeles.

These were the bad old days before any loyalty program, before "status", before widespread lounges. No frequent flyer miles. No status-based upgrades.

But, I digress.

See if you can get your employer to fund help for your wife, should she need something done around the house that would usually be done by you. I'm talking about stuff like appliance repair, lawn mowing, etc. My dad used to mow the lawn weekly. The company paid for a service to do that since he was away so much.

I've been doing this to Stockholm for the past month or so. I am in the office 3 days a week and they can be whatever 3 days I want. Right now because of flight prices, I've been going down Tuesday afternoons and back Friday evening. The main problem I've encountered is that the Friday night flight doesn't leave until 9:00 on a good day, and every week so far it's been delayed at least 30min, having a knock on effect down the line catching the bus back to Oxford, and meaning I'm sometimes not home until 2am. Not ideal of course. I'd prefer to come down Monday night and leave Thursday after work so that I have Fridays at home. My office is also quite flexible and are ok with me occasionally spending an entire week in the UK which helps a lot.

I'd say at the moment I don' really feel at home in Stockholm, but I'm not sure how much that hs to do with teh commute and how much is just still being pretty new here. Definitely echo everything other people have said about having an apartment. My intiial plan was to do 3 nights in an air bnb each week but that quickly became tiresome as a) it was something else that needed planning, b) I had to cart basic things around each week, and c) cooking was difficult because any unused items had to be thrown out - so I ended up eating mostly convenience foods whcih isn't very healthy.

I also found that seeing partner & immediate family became the number one priority at the weekend, to the point that the relationships that suffered the most were the ones with friends

University friend having a stag weekend away? Not really ideal when you'll then not see your wife for two weeks and you're away so much anyway.

Night out to celebrate a friends birthday? I'll go for one if I can make it, but I'm normally shattered anyway.

This thread has been moved from the BA section to this section, as the topic is more of a general nature than BA-specific and additional perspectives may be offered by opening it up to a wider audience.

LTN Phobia
Moderator: BA forum

A lot of this has been covered already but I'll give you the benefit of my experience doing this trip anyway....

Assuming you're in a hotel - try to find one and stick to it as much as possible. Leave as much of your stuff with them as you can. Alternatively, and depending on your first/last port of call when arriving and leaving you could maybe leave a bag at the office.

Be prepared for some delays and cancellations in winter. LUX can get a lot of snow and although they're used to it and cope much better than we do in the UK there will be times when your flights are impacted.

Get a routine, join a gym if that's your thing, do anything but sit in your room every night.

LUX airport is very modern, clean and has a decent lounge with great views of the runway if you like to watch 747 cargos!

I always found LUX security to be very efficient and polite. Queues were small 95% of the time - the other 5% they were huge. Never seemed to be any in between.

The lounge has great chocolate cake :p

Happy travels ^

I've been doing something similar for some time, and I can't add much more to what others have said. I think it is very important for you to spend more nights at home than away, otherwise this thing just doesn't work long term. I don't know if you have children or not, but being away the whole week just makes you a part-time father/husband, and it becomes noticeable to everyone after a while. The flying out on Sunday night or Monday morning and coming back Friday evenings is a killer for any relationship. I think it is key that you arrange for a Monday out, Thursday back arrangement. That gives you four nights at home, at least.

I just ended a half year assignment with leaving Monday afternoon, return Friday evening (Traveltime door to door about 5 hours). Although I love to travel, living in a hotel (even a nice upper scale one) after half a year was just... meh... even worse since the guys at the client site were not much into socializing, so I spend most dinners and evenings alone wandering the city or doing some sports.

But the bigger issue with having a real regular commute is:

For all the silly things you need to make sure you can put it in the schedule, like go to a doc, bring the car to the repair shop, ... on the weekend I spent Saturday doing laundry, clean up the mess in the garden and actually the only day free was Sunday which I was so tired form doing the rest that I spent it mostly on the couch.

My girlfriend was okay with it but after some time she was pretty unhappy that all the work in the house stuck on her. So I'm now back at my regular irregular travel time (sometimes a day trip, sometimes two to three days or even two weeks at a time but a bit spread out) and I enjoy it much more.

Kayak tells me this is a 90 minute flight. I've been doing weekly travel to a client site for 20+ year, often longer than this. For 4 years I did PIT-LAX/SFO/SEA - 4 hours each way.

So yes, it's certainly do-able. But we warn everyone in our interview process - this lifestyle isn't for everyone. You need decide whether it works for you or not.

Actually it's more 45-50 minutes than 90 minutes and with 7 flights a day with LG, it's quite a convenient service.

Sounds like my year in Toronto - a quick hop for weekly travel that happens to cross international borders.

Actually, it sounds like my currently PHL work, which is simple, within the spectrum of full-time commuting/professional services travel scenarios.

I commuted for 9 years East of Brussels to Luxembourg airport (working at the airport) did this by car, 220km drive Monday morning and Friday afternoon.
Rented apartment (had to move once during the 9 years), first place was 10 km to airport.
Family refused to move to LUX, unfortunately. Kids, school and friends you know...
Life would have been much more agreeable if they would have moved with me.
But I managed, poor night life on your own in LUX, if you don't speak the language you are on your own...

My sense from the OP's posts is that this is a compromise on both sides - the employer perhaps wanted OP to relocate permanently but that wouldn't suit family? If so, it emphasises the importance of both sides ensuring their expectations are compatible. I'd be very clear about requirements for permanent accommodation arrangements and flexibility of travel days for example. Is this an indefinite arrangement or does it last only for a period of months?

I did a similar commute between London and Utrecht back in the 90s and have also done similar weekly commutes between MEL and SYD since then (which is fairly comparable in terms of travel times and so forth). I was young, married, without children and my husband did similar work to mine. (Also working remotely was not as easy in the 90s as it is now for obvious reasons). My requirements for this sort of long term commuter arrangement today would be entirely different and in fact when I think back to what I was prepared to accept then, I am slightly horrified! :)

I'd agree with other posters' tips overall, but these are the clinchers for me:

1. LCY. Definitely.
2. Set up a permanent home base. Minimise the amount you need to lug back and forward.
3. Make sure you fiercely protect your time with loved ones. An employer who believes in "flexibility" may only in practice believe in "employee flexibility" - that sort of employer will soon have you flying out Sunday evening and back late Friday night.....
4. Don't get stuck in your residence alone every night. It becomes soul destroying after a surprisingly short period of time. People often end up working in the evenings in this situation - it seems like the most efficient way of organising your time, even if work volume doesn't necessitate it - but IF the trade off is that you spend weekends at home too exhausted to spend real time with family then query whether it is really a sensible choice. Better to go to the gym. :)
5. Equally though, there's an important balance to be struck - if you build too much of a life in your commuter home, after a while it starts to feel as if you and your loved ones are living separate lives. This is a bad thing. Try to involve your family as much as possible in your Luxembourg life - they should take advantage of the easy weekend commute.
6. Consider your living standard: if your London home is a delightful North London flat or house that you have worked for years to make into a family home, why should you settle indefinitely for a cramped, stale-smelling serviced apartment in Luxembourg? That might have been ok in your twenties, but not when you are established with near adult children. Obviously I'm exaggerating for effect here and you want to be reasonable about this, but it is not good for your long term wellbeing if you start out by saying "this'll do".

It depends on your personality, what you need, what you want, what your approach to work and life is. Some people are more cut out for a life away from home, a life on the road, a life away from your main social circle etc. than others.