malioil

I usually post in the BA forum, but as this is a general topic I thought I'd put it here.

I have always loved travelling and being on the road, coming from a small country with a native population of only 400,000, there was a limited amount of things I used to appreciate about home.

For the last few years I have had to spend months away from home at a time, doing productive work, but right now the melancholy is really getting to me. It's been 2 months since I last spent a week at home, and my next break is a month away.

I'm just sick of being in foreign places and not being able to return to my bed, my living room, speak my native tongue or mix with my fellow people, with whom I feel most comfortable.

Most of all I miss my parents, and cannot help but feel that I am missing precious time with them which I may later regret.

I only have to do this for another year, but as I work through the night I thought I'd share my feelings with you for I am sure most of you have felt similarly at one point during your time on the road. How do you cope with it and what advise may you have?

mbece

I've been in this situation only seeing my family for a week or two every year.

I started going home more often (once a month if possible and at least every two months). It gets expensive but it makes me really happy to be able to go home even if only for three days at a time.

It's tough sometimes but call your parents and friends. Stay in touch as much as possible so you don't become a stranger.

Big4Flyer

For me its more the time spent away from family than time spent away from home that gets to me. During times when I'm away for weeks or months at a time, I like just taking a short trip home which often recharges me for the next week. Fortunately my travels are almost entirely within the US and often the west coast so its relatively easy to come home on weekends, even if its only for 24 hours. Sometimes I'll surprise my family by coming home in the middle of the week if I'm only a 2-3 hour direct flight away. I'll work an early day Wednesday, run to the airport and be home in time for the kids bedtime, and then leave early the next morning. Even though I get less sleep doing these little trips, I find I'm much more satisfied with life in general. I can't imagine how some folks do it though being away without even stepping foot back home for weeks or months at a time. That would burn me out in a hurry.

Andy290

As Mbece said, call as much as possible. I find that facetime/Skype is a huge morale boost, for both sides.

Tchiowa

I spent most of my career working the way you describe. Months at a time away from home.

The way you handle it by making sure that the time at home is real quality time. One of my friends told me that when he was home he would walk his 2nd and 3rd graders to school in the morning. How many fathers get to do that? Another guy with grown kids would save up all his FF miles and fly his wife first class to Paris a couple of times a year, meet her there and have a romantic week together.

Having said that, another buddy came to me in my office in Africa one day and said that his youngest daughter was just starting school and that he realized he had missed half her life. He went back to the US, changed jobs and has never been happier.

Like anything else, it is what you make of it.

JR14

I've lived abroad for six years now. It's a different experience from working abroad and constantly traveling, but one thing is true about both: phone calls and video chats make it so much better. That's especially true when it comes to keeping in touch with parents at home!

MarcoGT

...cut...

I can understand you even if I did not have this problem.
I lived in Italy but moved to Germany for work.
Distance is about 1.5hr by plane.
I go home every two months now, but before every month.
Every month was not feasible (not from the cost point of view); every month means to stay "at home" only a weekend (maybe Fri-Mon) and then fly back, so then I decided to fly back once every two months but for a longer period...

Ah, my family (wife) is now in Germany, so I fly back to Italy to visit parents.

MarcoGT

I can only quote (I am living abroad too)

go_around

I'm also living abroad for work reasons. My wife is with me which makes things a lot easier but both our original homes and families are 12+ hours flight time away. I've just learned to accept it and though I agree with the above that Skype etc are invaluable, my family and friends are actually quite bad at keeping in touch / reciprocating. Life changes. Home isn't for me a fixed place any more and at first that's alienating, but after a while I realised it wasn't a huge problem. A lot of things at "home" I can't identify with any more, people's attitudes, social and political views etc. But it's a judgment call, do the pros of being abroad outweigh the cons? For me the answer just now is yes, as soon as the balance tips the other way I leave. If you feel there are strong reasons for being back home like with your parents, fully understandable, maybe you need to work out what your real priorities are. Good luck - it's not easy. Just remember though that you are in control of the situation. Feel like you are ruling the situation and not vice versa, even if you decide to stay away.

burbuja0512

I wasn't coping well with lengthy trips. I don't mind frequent, but when they go over 15 days, I can't handle it. I miss my kids too much. (well and hubby too)

I ended up switching jobs, which was an extremely difficult decision. Since I was VERY picky, it took almost a year to find a new job that met my criteria. I didn't want to give up the travel and I didn't want to be relegated to a single region. Nope, I want to have GLOBAL responsibilities. That was very important to me.

However, I knew that the old job was making me absolutely miserable and it wasn't getting better. I know that this isn't the answer you're looking for, but I am posting because it was the only solution for me that really worked.

I've been at the new company a year tomorrow and couldn't be happier. I still travel just as frequently, still go all over the world, but have more control over the length of the trip.

Of course, this greatly depends on what you do and my decision may be completely unrelated to yours. However at the end of the day, I believe that most of us here in this forum (even though I'm new to posting.. I am a long-time lurker) enjoy travel and if you don't, and can't find an easy way to make it work, perhaps you should consider other more difficult options.

dchristiva

This. Definitely this.

darthbimmer

There are two ways to approach the problem of being gone from home too much. On the one hand, there are adjustments you can make in your mindset and activities to make it more palatable. That includes things like keeping in touch with family and friends via phone, Skype, chat, email, Facebook, etc. On the other hand, maybe you can change your travel schedule. Consider the following:

1) Is it crucial for you to work at remote sites all the time, or can some of that work be done remotely? When I was traveling frequently to Asia supporting customers and sales I found a cadence of generally two weeks in Asia, two weeks in the US (where home and HQ are located) worked well for both me and the business.

2) Does your company have an official policy about allowing employees on lengthy field assignments to return home every so often, e.g. one weekend per two weeks? Make sure you are getting at minimum the benefits the official policy provides.

3) Have you discussed with your management your desire to see home more often? Many managers will assign increasing workload or travel burden to employees, figuring if employees don't complain it must be okay.

4) If nothing is changeable or negotiable with your present job, look at similar jobs with another company or related jobs in a slightly different industry. If you're good at what you do and you're comfortable with travel, there's always another job out there.

Tchiowa

^ In my case it's 2 months each way. My wife travels with me but I still have kids, grandkids, parents and my sofa at home that I miss. So my arrangement is I work for 2 months then go home for 2 months. Then back. Been doing that since I "retired" 3 years ago and it's working perfectly.

go_around

Can I add something? As well as Skype etc, WhatsApp is good. Allows you to send what are basically text messages free of charge to other users in your phone contacts. With a couple of friends and family members I found they were difficult to get to sit down on Skype or to reply to emails, whereas they respond to the more spontaneous WhatsApp more readily.

Owenc

Um i'm not a jetsetter but for me it depends where I go. If its to America then i'm fine for months/weeks and it doesn't bother me because its similar to home anyway.

If it is to Spain or France then I do start to get homesick after a week or two. For me I bring things from home and use them. I would also try and watch some British news/television in order to stay in touch with home. I might go to the supermarket and buy some British food also.

I'm moving to England in September for uni i'm not really sure how I will cope or if I will cope but it is both a daunting and exciting prospect. So far all I have done to help me cope is book fights home every three weeks.

Honestly I am kind of tired of my country and want out to another country with more amenities so when I am away I find it hard to miss my actual country.. I actually hate coming back. Tbh I went to Florida this summer and was there for five weeks, I could've stayed months past the departure date and still not cared about being far from home.. This is going to sound odd but I was actually dreading coming home.