I always appreciated Alaska Airlines where they board/deplane from both ends. MVPs first, and then the masses, which actually works!

Although, I'm sure the "Chaos" at the gate is intentional for the legacy airlines, gives you an incentive to get the credit card. If it was orderly for everyone, no real reason to try and get higher boarding.

Simple Solution
 

While this is an interesting academic exercise in modeling, these "complex" boarding schemes are not practical. Can you imagine the mess at the gate as they somehow "call" these groups to board? These models also ignore several "boundary conditions" - Airlines board handicapped and those that need extra time first. As already noted by others, one big airline perk for FF is to board early. Are we really going to split families with children up as they board?

The solution is easy and doesn't take an astrophysicist, although I am a high energy physicist by education, but it doesn't take that either. Simply allow customers to check bags for free, treat the checked luggage with care so that they are not all banged up, don't lose bags, and ensure that bags arrive at the luggage carousel within 15 minutes of arrival. Then enforce a strict carry on rule - briefcases, purses, laptop bags, etc. only. (Remember when we traveled like that?? I do!). I am sure we can cut boarding time down by an order of magnitude and you can board almost anyway you want. :)

Given the constant moaning by elites and premium passengers about boarding issues, in particular overhead locker space being filled by those sitting further back, surely the appropriate solution (but one for which, sadly, airports are not designed) would be to have all boarding from the rear? Elites/Premium pax get to board first, saunter jauntily up the empty aisles, hoist their carry-on into empty lockers, and (in the case of the premium pax) enjoy their pre-departure drinks served by attendants who aren't obstructed by aisles full of lesser passengers? Come on, you all know it makes sense ;)

And I'm not even an astrophysicist...

All of which are horrid. The appropriate word is disembark.

This boarding scheme is overly reliant on pax being well versed in air travel. While this is a given for all of us, there are far too many pax on every flight that have no idea how to follow (or understand) the simplest of procedures when it comes to flying efficiently.

That works for me. But, as long as boarding from the front is standard, I actually have no problem with filling the plane from rear to front without regard to status or class of service (except in cases where you turn left to go to FC).

That having been said, I must admit that the free for all boarding we have in China is actually pretty fast.

Is there a practical design issue that would prevent luggage storage bins from being located beneath passengers instead of above them? Someone mentioned this earlier upthread.

Oh, no. Boarding first, sitting in the big seat and watching all the little people walk past you with tears in their eyes as they head toward cattle class is one of the perks of First Class.

:rolleyes:

Headroom when standing would be an immediate problem on single aisle jets.

I wish passengers wouldn't be corralled like cattle before a flight. People end up jockeying for position, and it causes stress for others before boarding.

I think bigger waiting areas would help. Even more if they could institute separate lines/waiting areas so everyone did not try crowding on at once.

On shorthaul the line forms regardless of how large the waiting area is. Boarding rarely begins before gate close time, let alone ends, so lots of people are milling around from the lounge for a couple of minutes, not worth sitting down.

On long haul I don't know about everyone else, but I turn up about closure minus 5 minutes and while normal queues are often long, fast track is inevitably empty. Waltz past the queues and straight on board.

Any "pen" system is a big :td: from me. Cairo and Singapore spring to mind. I dislike gate security for the same reason. Queues, and you can't relax in the lounge.

Humans have stunk for thousands of years. You can survive a day. :D :D :D

Use Perspirex. You only need to apply it twice a week. So if you use it the day you fly you should be good for four days (their website says five, but I think four is a safer bet!) :p

I'm fascinated by how hyper-local that particular term is. It is not used in Chicago, Kansas City, or Milwaukee. I'm not aware if it being used in Winnipeg or Omaha. From what I can tell, it is truly a Twin Cities thing.

There must be a direct correlation between lefse- and Juicy-Lucy-eating and referring to parking structures as ramps. @:-) The minute you cross over into deep dish, barbecue, cheese, or Maid Rite country, they're garages again.

Even that's a weird word. Shouldn't it just be disbark? :p

parkade
 

IIRC, Winnipeg features a "parkade" or two.