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Funniest thing you have heard from customs upon reentering your home country?

Funniest thing you have heard from customs upon reentering your home country?

Old Aug 6, 2012, 2:26 am
  #76  
 
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Originally Posted by FlyingHoustonian
As for my odd airport stories, one was at MAN in 2005. I was a sigle guy going to attend a friend's wedding in Wales. The agent could not understand how I could be single and attend a wedding....? I told him I would probably hook-up with a brides maid (I did :-) ) which just pissed him off more. Then he went on and on about me trying to work in Britain. I finally showed him a US gov't employee ID and then he went off on my trying to cheat the British government out of tax revenue. I had no clue what he was talking about. Then he stamped my passport finally and I moved on.
I've never heard of Customs stamping a passport in the UK. Are you sure?
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Old Aug 6, 2012, 2:52 am
  #77  
 
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This one was funny/infuriating when I returned home to the US from a trip to Singapore, Thailand.

W- ::hands over American passport::
Passport Control Woman - What country is your citizenship?
W- ::confused look...points at ground:: Here
PCW - (angrily) What country is this?!
W- The US?
PCW - Were you born in the US?
W- No.
PCW - When did you become a citizen?
W- When I was sixteen.
PCW - Why?
W- Because my parents became citizens so I automatically got citizenship.
PCW - Where did you go to high school?
W- In XXXX, IL
PCW - (angrily) Fine! Go!
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Old Aug 6, 2012, 10:50 am
  #78  
 
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Originally Posted by Circumknowitall
I've never heard of Customs stamping a passport in the UK. Are you sure?
We both know he was referring to the immigration officer using the American habit of referring to both as "customs". And yes, the UK immigration officers do stamp passports.
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Old Aug 6, 2012, 11:50 am
  #79  
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Originally Posted by Wingman32
This one was funny/infuriating when I returned home to the US from a trip to Singapore, Thailand.

W- ::hands over American passport::
Passport Control Woman - What country is your citizenship?
W- ::confused look...points at ground:: Here
PCW - (angrily) What country is this?!
W- The US?
PCW - Were you born in the US?
W- No.
PCW - When did you become a citizen?
W- When I was sixteen.
PCW - Why?
W- Because my parents became citizens so I automatically got citizenship.
PCW - Where did you go to high school?
W- In XXXX, IL
PCW - (angrily) Fine! Go!
Wow, that's just ridiculous. Being a hothead as I am, I don't think I can handle it better than you.
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Old Aug 6, 2012, 12:36 pm
  #80  
 
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Originally Posted by Circumknowitall
I've never heard of Customs stamping a passport in the UK. Are you sure?
immigration. I never said customs, the thread title and US agency having them combined notwithstanding. I just found it quite annoying and shared it here. You are always welcome to skip my posts...
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Old Aug 6, 2012, 3:09 pm
  #81  
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Going through customs coming back from Colombia.

Customs agent says jokingly, "any drugs in your bags?"
Me "Yes the two red bags are full of drugs."

And then I explained that I was returning from a medical missions trip and the bags were full of prescription meds that had not been distributed on the trip.

Let me pass without further questions.
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Old Aug 7, 2012, 6:16 am
  #82  
 
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Originally Posted by wrp96
Customs agent says jokingly, "any drugs in your bags?"
Me "Yes the two red bags are full of drugs."
Guess this goes back to the old rule of "Never ask a question unless you really want to know the answer".
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Old Aug 7, 2012, 8:39 am
  #83  
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Originally Posted by medic51vrf
Guess this goes back to the old rule of "Never ask a question unless you really want to know the answer".
Our instructions for customs are don't volunteer any info unless asked but if asked, tell the truth.
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Old Jun 20, 2013, 4:05 pm
  #84  
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I went to Alaska last year as part of my quest to go to all 50 states. Anyway, I'd used miles to do part of it on CX, JFK-YVR in First and when I got back into the US I told the US CBP agent I was going to Alaska which would be my 49th state. He said "oh wow, and it was the 49th state too! Are you going in order?". I said "no, because I wasn't born in Delaware so it wouldn't work"
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Old Jun 20, 2013, 8:39 pm
  #85  
 
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Returning from south America last month at Mia. My hands were full and the customs form was between my lips. When I handed it to the agent she said

I don't want to touch anything that has been in your mouth.
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Old Jun 20, 2013, 9:01 pm
  #86  
 
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Originally Posted by worldiswide
Returning from south America last month at Mia. My hands were full and the customs form was between my lips. When I handed it to the agent she said

I don't want to touch anything that has been in your mouth.
I can't say as I blame her. I'm amazed at the people who hold BPs, custom forms, or shopping lists in their mouths.

I've always assumed plain old oral fixation. YMMV.
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Old Jun 20, 2013, 9:12 pm
  #87  
 
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In reality I really can't blame her either. I was tired and hands full. We cane to a compromise and she was ale to handle the form but I probably wouldn't do it or try it again. Lesson learned.
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Old Jun 20, 2013, 10:24 pm
  #88  
 
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About 8 years ago, I went through a period of natural disasters, family illness, multiple deaths of friends/family, and questioning my career. I was able to take 2 months off to travel, bought a RTW ticket and set off alone for SE Asia and a few other spots along the way. I had mixed feelings when the trip was over and I arrived at IAD and my customs agent certainly didn't help. After searching my bags and questioning me extensively he looked at me and said "You're a chef? How could a chef possibly afford a trip like this?" If I was questioning my career before...
I said " my dead grandmother." I actually felt bad after I saw the look on his face.
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Old Jun 20, 2013, 10:34 pm
  #89  
 
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The Global Entry kiosks used to not take photos that print on your entry slip. The first time one took my photo it caught me in quite the dumb expression as I am too tall for the camera and have to bend down while still trying to maintain eye contact. The customs guy looked at the picture and laughed before saying, "you know you are much better looking in person".
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Old Jun 21, 2013, 12:29 am
  #90  
 
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2004, when I got my Australian residency and first time flying SFO-SYD. At the border control, I handle my passport and papers. An agent flips thru them and exchange follows:

Agent: Do you have any convictions sir?
Me: Is this still necessary to get into the country?
Agent: ???? (blank stare follows)

Well, he laughed and with 'welcome to YOUR country now' let me in.

Last edited by invisible; Jun 21, 2013 at 12:37 am
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