Go Back  FlyerTalk Forums > Travel&Dining > TravelBuzz
Reload this Page >

Funniest thing you have heard from customs upon reentering your home country?

Funniest thing you have heard from customs upon reentering your home country?

Old Jul 31, 2012, 3:11 pm
  #46  
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Boulder
Programs: AA Plat, CX Silver
Posts: 2,361
Originally Posted by Tom Williams
Not sure I follow - can you specify which TSA attitudes come from a military background?
I didn't entirely follow his statement either but immigration is CBP, not TSA. While both are under DHS they aren't the same agency.
txflyer77 is offline  
Old Jul 31, 2012, 4:26 pm
  #47  
In memoriam
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: IAD, BOS, PVD
Programs: UA, US, AS, Marriott, Radisson, Hilton
Posts: 7,203
Rte 87/15 entrance into Canada from Vermont, 1999.

Customs guy: anything to declare?
Then-GF in driver's seat: no.
Customs guy: any drugs, ... (list follows)?
tGF: no.
Customs guy: any nuclear weapons?
tGF: yes.
Customs guy: okay, welcome to Quebec.
violist is offline  
Old Aug 1, 2012, 8:14 am
  #48  
Suspended
Original Poster
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: En Route
Programs: Many
Posts: 6,798
Originally Posted by violist
Rte 87/15 entrance into Canada from Vermont, 1999.

Customs guy: anything to declare?
Then-GF in driver's seat: no.
Customs guy: any drugs, ... (list follows)?
tGF: no.
Customs guy: any nuclear weapons?
tGF: yes.
Customs guy: okay, welcome to Quebec.
A+
GetSetJetSet is offline  
Old Aug 1, 2012, 8:30 am
  #49  
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: SEA/YVR/BLI
Programs: UA "Lifetime" Gold, AS MVPG100K, OW Emerald, HH Lifetime Diamond, IC Plat, Marriott Gold, Hertz Gold
Posts: 9,483
Originally Posted by Craig6z
Not funny per se... Returning from Europe at O'Hare (lines were huge), the officer asked what I did for a living. When I gave him a twenty second overview he initated an extended series of questions how to break into that business, once he retired. He was truly interested and I can tell had thought about it in the past.

This went on for about five minutes, before he profusely thanked me for the insight and I was on my way. Felt kind of bad that with the snaking lines, the agent's personal agenda caused delays for others.
Returning to the US from Canada at one of the smaller land crossings, we spent some time chatting with an agent about our new 2006 Toyota RAV4, a model change year that included a V6 engine. His wife was interesting in buying one.

A few months later we encountered the same agent. This time he popped out of his booth to pop up the hood to see how Toyota had stuffed that big engine into that small SUV.

I was chuckling to imagine what the people lined up behind us must have thought was going on as he peered inside - maybe drugs or, even worse, Kinder Eggs.

Last edited by Fredd; Aug 1, 2012 at 10:25 am
Fredd is offline  
Old Aug 1, 2012, 8:39 am
  #50  
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: MEL, PER, PBO, occasionally ships, oil rigs and other places that no sane human being should ever find themselves
Programs: IHG RA, PC Plat, QF Plat/LTS
Posts: 804
Well and truely before 9/11, I had departed the US on my Australian passport (a mistake on my part) and returned using my American one. The Customs/Imigartation guy looked at my passport and said "How can you be coming back? You never left."

I smiled and said "If this is American and I never left, why are we talking to each other? Shouldn't I be over there?" (pointing to the customs lobby exits) He kind of looked at me for a second with his head literally tilted slightly to the side, and (obviouly putting the whole situation in the "too hard" basket) just said "Welcome home... From wherever." and handed me back my passport WITHOUT even stamping it.
medic51vrf is offline  
Old Aug 1, 2012, 10:23 am
  #51  
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 1,154
I got asked if anyone had ever said I look like Rex Ryan before, to which I responded that I wish I had his paycheck.

Ironically, it had only been a week or two before that someone else had asked me the same question.
piper28 is offline  
Old Aug 1, 2012, 11:10 am
  #52  
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: anywhere and everywhere
Programs: UA GS, AS MVP 100K, DL Diamond, Marriot Lifetime Titanium, AmEx Centurion
Posts: 5,504
Ah CBP:

1) "Brunei and Indonesia? You went all the way from Asia to the Middle East?" me: "huh?" him: "Middle East. Brunei." me: "um, Brunei is in southeast asia near Indonesia." him: "Don't get smart with me, I know about the Sultan!"

2) After returning on an admittedly suspicious one-way from Cairo about a year ago: "what were you doing in Cairo? did you engage with any revolutionaries? plotting anti-government activities?"

*shakes head*
ironmanjt is offline  
Old Aug 1, 2012, 11:14 am
  #53  
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: anywhere and everywhere
Programs: UA GS, AS MVP 100K, DL Diamond, Marriot Lifetime Titanium, AmEx Centurion
Posts: 5,504
Originally Posted by mecabq
My countries visited included Afghanistan, and the agent asked, how's Afghanistan? I answered minimally, like "it's fine, I was there helping with the reconstruction." He said, "how are the girls?" "Great." He said, "I hear they have great beaches there."

I am not sure if he was (1) stupid, (2) just trying to be cute, (3) thinking that he was cleverly trying to catch me in a lie, as if I would have any reason to lie. (Maybe some combination of (1), and (2) or (3).)
Likely a combination, but I've heard the "how are the girls there" on more than one occasion. I'm guessing they're trained to ask this to distract you before the 'real' question.
ironmanjt is offline  
Old Aug 1, 2012, 11:21 am
  #54  
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: TX
Programs: UA mm, Marriott PLT, Hilton Dia
Posts: 580
flying into Canada on a regional jet:

Whom do you work for?

me: Mack Trucks

Did you bring a Mack Truck with you for sale in Canada?

In retrospect, I should have just answered "no" .....
blue47 is offline  
Old Aug 1, 2012, 2:00 pm
  #55  
FlyerTalk Evangelist
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 38,320
Originally Posted by JohnnyColombia
Americans have an unfair advantage in this thread.

Upon arrival at MIA

He: Where have you just arrived from?
Me: Colombia
He: What's the skiing like this time of year in Colombia?
Me: Hmmm
Me: Ummm
Me: Errr
Me: Seriously?
I don't really think they have entire mountains of cocaine....
Loren Pechtel is offline  
Old Aug 1, 2012, 2:17 pm
  #56  
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: MCI
Programs: AA Gold 1MM, AS MVP, UA Silver, WN A-List, Marriott LT Titanium, HH Diamond
Posts: 52,501
Originally Posted by Circumknowitall
In my 1000's of foreign trips I have never spoken to a Customs official on return to my home country.
Daily commuter between England and Scotland or something?


In my 20's, also a period when cigar smoking was at its peak recent popularity in general, flying home to the U.S. from Europe, I handed over my customs declaration and the guy looks at me as says "Which bag are the Cuban cigars in?" I laughed...he smiled and waved me on...


Semi-related to this topic: I was in Quebec over the weekend and heard that they just last week closed the final unguarded gate between the U.S. and Canada. I forget the town name but I guess they were having problems with a lot of petty crime around the area. (Obviously there are thousands of unguarded miles of border, but this was a street in a little town where you could drive back and forth without an immigration or customs check.)
pinniped is offline  
Old Aug 2, 2012, 10:50 am
  #57  
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 314
I got into an argument with an immigration officer at Newark a few years ago all because he couldn't understand that US citizens could hold and travel on more than passport (all because I didn't have an entry stamp from the UK). It took 15 minutes of discussion before he'd let me pass.
Emma1420 is offline  
Old Aug 2, 2012, 10:58 am
  #58  
Suspended
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Atherton, CA
Programs: UA 1K, AA EXP; Owner, Green Bay Packers
Posts: 21,691
Cool

Originally Posted by medic51vrf
Well and truely before 9/11, I had departed the US on my Australian passport (a mistake on my part) and returned using my American one. The Customs/Imigartation guy looked at my passport and said "How can you be coming back? You never left."

I smiled and said "If this is American and I never left, why are we talking to each other? Shouldn't I be over there?" (pointing to the customs lobby exits) He kind of looked at me for a second with his head literally tilted slightly to the side, and (obviouly putting the whole situation in the "too hard" basket) just said "Welcome home... From wherever." and handed me back my passport WITHOUT even stamping it.
This makes no sense. US passports aren't stamped on departure.
Doc Savage is offline  
Old Aug 2, 2012, 11:10 am
  #59  
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: MEL, PER, PBO, occasionally ships, oil rigs and other places that no sane human being should ever find themselves
Programs: IHG RA, PC Plat, QF Plat/LTS
Posts: 804
Originally Posted by Doc Savage
This makes no sense. US passports aren't stamped on departure.
Maybe he was looking at a computer record or something. Don't know. All I can tell you is he knew that I hadn't left using my American passport, didn't know that I used my Aussie one and didn't seem to do much other than hand me back my passport.
medic51vrf is offline  
Old Aug 2, 2012, 11:22 am
  #60  
FlyerTalk Evangelist
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ORD
Programs: UA 1K
Posts: 16,900
Entering the UK, not my home country, but in any case...

Mid-April one year. Agent looked at our then 11 year old daughter with a very serious look on his face and said "shouldn't you be in school?" She jumped about 10 feet, poor thing.
milepig is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Manage Preferences - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

This site is owned, operated, and maintained by MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Designated trademarks are the property of their respective owners.