Funniest thing you have heard from customs upon reentering your home country?
Jan 17, 2014, 6:53 am
#151
Suspended
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 817
I was on my way to a privacy conference in Europe. Immigration happened in Amsterdam since that's where I entered the Schengen area.
Agent: So what is the purpose of your trip to Spain?
Me: I'm going to a privacy conference.
Agent: A privacy conference? isn't that an oxymoron? *smiles and stamps*
Agent: So what is the purpose of your trip to Spain?
Me: I'm going to a privacy conference.
Agent: A privacy conference? isn't that an oxymoron? *smiles and stamps*
Last edited by greggarious; Jan 17, 2014 at 8:41 am
Jan 17, 2014, 8:25 am
#152
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Scotland - ABZ
Programs: Qantas LTG, BA-Blue, KLM -Gold, SAS - Silver
Posts: 2,053
s for immigration, you don't normally need to break your stride to pass it at ORK just join the line of people walking past the Garda and holding open their EU passports.
As a non-EU entering at DUB a few years ago along with several planeloads and there was quite a logjam at Immigration. A young woman was marshalling the lines and when she saw my Oz passport , pointed over to the left and shouted "Far queue! Far queue!"
"Far queue 2!" I replied. Couldn't resist. Got what you might describe as a "dirty look" as I passed.
Jan 17, 2014, 11:30 am
#153
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: 787
Programs: Too many to list
Posts: 1,306
Entered EU on a flight from London to Rome and left out of Frankfurt.
German Immigration guy with heavy German movie-like voice:
"Where is your stamp to enter EU?"
"I don't know. Should be there"
"Where did you enter EU?"
"Rome"
"Ahhh, that figures. Lazy a$$ Italians. Too lazy to even stamp passports now. As usual. Have a good flight"
German Immigration guy with heavy German movie-like voice:
"Where is your stamp to enter EU?"
"I don't know. Should be there"
"Where did you enter EU?"
"Rome"
"Ahhh, that figures. Lazy a$$ Italians. Too lazy to even stamp passports now. As usual. Have a good flight"
Jan 17, 2014, 2:22 pm
#154
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: YWG
Programs: Aeroplan, MileagePlus, Marriott Rewards
Posts: 2,159
Entered EU on a flight from London to Rome and left out of Frankfurt.
German Immigration guy with heavy German movie-like voice:
"Where is your stamp to enter EU?"
"I don't know. Should be there"
"Where did you enter EU?"
"Rome"
"Ahhh, that figures. Lazy a$$ Italians. Too lazy to even stamp passports now. As usual. Have a good flight"
German Immigration guy with heavy German movie-like voice:
"Where is your stamp to enter EU?"
"I don't know. Should be there"
"Where did you enter EU?"
"Rome"
"Ahhh, that figures. Lazy a$$ Italians. Too lazy to even stamp passports now. As usual. Have a good flight"
Jan 17, 2014, 3:04 pm
#156
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: SJC/SFO
Programs: WN A+ CP, UA 1MM/*A Gold, Mar LT Tit, IHG Plat, HH Dia
Posts: 6,284
I've never had any funny exchanges with US immigration or customs, possibly because most of the time I reenter the US via SFO, where the CBP staff are very professional and their operation is well run.
I did have a funny exchange once in Israel, departing TLV to LHR. The security staff determined that I posed a medium risk and subjected the contents of my bag to thorough examination. Modular electronics, like my computer and camera, were pulled apart and each component x-rayed individually.
One of the items in my bag was a small stuffed animal, a gift for my young nephew who had just learned about wild sheep (bighorn rams) in his science class.
The officer held it up in his hand. "What is this?"
"It's a sheep," I answered. "Like the sheep at Ein Gedi."
"Does it talk?"
"No, it's a sheep."
I did have a funny exchange once in Israel, departing TLV to LHR. The security staff determined that I posed a medium risk and subjected the contents of my bag to thorough examination. Modular electronics, like my computer and camera, were pulled apart and each component x-rayed individually.
One of the items in my bag was a small stuffed animal, a gift for my young nephew who had just learned about wild sheep (bighorn rams) in his science class.
The officer held it up in his hand. "What is this?"
"It's a sheep," I answered. "Like the sheep at Ein Gedi."
"Does it talk?"
"No, it's a sheep."
Jan 17, 2014, 6:23 pm
#157
Join Date: Oct 2013
Programs: UA 1K, Marriott Plat
Posts: 151
In my prior life I was a labor lawyer representing exclusively the management side (opposing unions).
Coming back from a business trip to Canada I was asked where I was going & answered "home" Agent asked "where's home" I answered "Seattle. ... uh, I mean Charlotte." (I had recently moved). Needless to say I was asked several more questions.
Finally, Agent asked "what was the purpose of your trip?"
Me: "Business"
Agent: "what do you do?"
Me: "I'm a lawyer"
Agent: "what kind of law do you practice?"
Me: "I'm a labor lawyer"
Agent: "Isn't it terrible the way management is trying to screw the workers?"
Me: "Absolutely, it's outrageous."
Agent: "Welcome home."
Coming back from a business trip to Canada I was asked where I was going & answered "home" Agent asked "where's home" I answered "Seattle. ... uh, I mean Charlotte." (I had recently moved). Needless to say I was asked several more questions.
Finally, Agent asked "what was the purpose of your trip?"
Me: "Business"
Agent: "what do you do?"
Me: "I'm a lawyer"
Agent: "what kind of law do you practice?"
Me: "I'm a labor lawyer"
Agent: "Isn't it terrible the way management is trying to screw the workers?"
Me: "Absolutely, it's outrageous."
Agent: "Welcome home."
Jan 17, 2014, 9:26 pm
#158
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: STL
Posts: 1,546
Re-entering at ORD while wearing a STL Cardinals t-shirt:
"It takes some guts to wear that t-shirt around here, I should send you to secondary for it!"
Then one of the TSOs at the checkpoint before my connecting flight said pretty much the exact same thing.
I was a combination of hung over, sick, jetlagged and sleep deprived so I wasn't quick thinking, but if I was, I would've replied with "Funny joke, but not as funny as the Cubs", but alas, I didn't think of that until I was past the checkpoint.
"It takes some guts to wear that t-shirt around here, I should send you to secondary for it!"
Then one of the TSOs at the checkpoint before my connecting flight said pretty much the exact same thing.
I was a combination of hung over, sick, jetlagged and sleep deprived so I wasn't quick thinking, but if I was, I would've replied with "Funny joke, but not as funny as the Cubs", but alas, I didn't think of that until I was past the checkpoint.
Jan 17, 2014, 9:52 pm
#159
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Virginia City Highlands
Programs: Nothing anymore after 20 years
Posts: 6,900
Preface: returning back to the country where I was born to see my relatives and family. Have not been there for 9 years.
Young and attractive female officer flips thru passport pages, sees visas for US, UK, Australia, Canada, etc. Exchange follows:
- what do you do in States?
- I live there.
- Why don't you take me with you on your way back?
Young and attractive female officer flips thru passport pages, sees visas for US, UK, Australia, Canada, etc. Exchange follows:
- what do you do in States?
- I live there.
- Why don't you take me with you on your way back?
Last edited by invisible; Jan 18, 2014 at 2:31 am
Jan 18, 2014, 6:22 pm
#162
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Santo Domingo, Dom. Rep. / Washington, DC
Programs: AA PPro/DL PLT, PPass, Marriott / Hilton Gold, JetBlue Mosaic, Hertz Presidents Circle, Amex Plat
Posts: 4,628
Agent: What do you do for living?
Me: I work for customs, at the Headquarters.
Agent: Ah, welcome back! Did you bring any presents for your colleagues?
Me: I work for customs, at the Headquarters.
Agent: Ah, welcome back! Did you bring any presents for your colleagues?
Jan 18, 2014, 7:28 pm
#163
Join Date: Jan 2014
Programs: AA Plat., UA Plat., HH Gold, SPG Gold, Marriott Gold
Posts: 91
Returning into the US at Boston from somewhere in Europe sometime last year:
Agent: What was the purpose of your trip?
Me: Business
Agent: What do you do?
Me: I'm an engineer working on a project for XYZ with doctors in nation ABC
Agent: So...you drive a train?
Me: ??? no?
Agent: ???
Me: ??? I'm developing a new product for XYZ
Agent: Welcome home.
PS: The welcome home thing is my favorite part and always makes the confrontational aspect of the border crossing seem less abusive.
Agent: What was the purpose of your trip?
Me: Business
Agent: What do you do?
Me: I'm an engineer working on a project for XYZ with doctors in nation ABC
Agent: So...you drive a train?
Me: ??? no?
Agent: ???
Me: ??? I'm developing a new product for XYZ
Agent: Welcome home.
PS: The welcome home thing is my favorite part and always makes the confrontational aspect of the border crossing seem less abusive.
Jan 18, 2014, 8:26 pm
#164
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 277
A few years ago, while travelling to India via Halifax, NS, the US (departure) immigration "lady" asked where I was going. I replied "India".
She asked why on earth I wanted to go there. and I said because "I have never been there before. She then persisted by saying why wouldn't I want to go somewhere else.
I said that I have already been to many other countries and India was next. She informed me that " there are 65 countries in the world and only one man ever went to all of them" US Immigration--true!!!
P.S. Secondary interrogation was more cordial :-)
She asked why on earth I wanted to go there. and I said because "I have never been there before. She then persisted by saying why wouldn't I want to go somewhere else.
I said that I have already been to many other countries and India was next. She informed me that " there are 65 countries in the world and only one man ever went to all of them" US Immigration--true!!!
P.S. Secondary interrogation was more cordial :-)
Last edited by pmaclell; Jan 18, 2014 at 8:32 pm
