Ryanair's Samsonite Case
 

Might end up having to fly Twatwaffle Air in the near future on multiple segments. What's the closest thing to their Samsonite bag I can find stateside? Or does anyone know of a Ryanair bag that is in the states for purchase?

Why buy that bag when you can get something lighter and better? You don't need to have that specific bag in order to carry on FR, just have to meet the dimension and weight requirements. At 10 kg, its pretty easy to keep your carry on below that level.