Shortly before the beef arrives on my fold-out tray, I’m working out how to position my feet. My left leg is swinging over the carpet of a Boeing 777. But what seemed like a triumph at check-in — an emergency exit window seat — looks less smart now as my right foot is squashed against the life raft. I can wedge my toes under it, through a draught excluder, but it’s freezing there. I gain an extra inch by twisting my hips. I check the map on my screen. Time to destination: 17 hours.

I am on the longest flight in the world: Qatar Airways flight 921 from Auckland to Doha covers 9,000 miles and crosses nine time zones. I will sit in seat 22K, with its impotent headrest, for 18 hours and 21 minutes (actual flying time: 17 hours 33 minutes). As well as the beef, I will eat the chicken, the “all-day chicken sausage roll”, a snack box and at least three cubes of spongy mousse. I will watch five films. And I will spend hours willing the moving map to move faster.