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"50 Secrets Your Pilot Won't Tell You"

"50 Secrets Your Pilot Won't Tell You"

Old Oct 14, 10, 12:39 pm
  #1  
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"50 Secrets Your Pilot Won't Tell You"

It appears somebody, ah, borrowed the expression Gate Lice from FT.

No, "What they told us" (breathlessly) will not really change the way I fly at all.

We asked 17 pilots from across the country to give us straight answers about maddening safety rules, inexplicable delays, the air and attitudes up there—and what really happens behind the cockpit door. What they told us will change the way you fly.

http://www.rd.com/home-garden/50-sec...cle186583.html

Last edited by Fredd; Oct 14, 10 at 12:49 pm
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Old Oct 14, 10, 12:55 pm
  #2  
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“Some FAA rules don’t make sense to us either. Like the fact that when we’re at 39,000 feet going 400 miles an hour, in a plane that could hit turbulence at any minute, [flight attendants] can walk around and serve hot coffee and Chateaubriand. But when we’re on the ground on a flat piece of asphalt going five to ten miles an hour, they’ve got to be buckled in like they’re at NASCAR.”

That's from a US Airways pilot quoted in it.

Really, Chateaubriand on US Air?
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Old Oct 14, 10, 12:56 pm
  #3  
 
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Originally Posted by cordelli View Post
Really, Chateaubriand on US Air?
I'm more impressed that he knew what it was
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Old Oct 14, 10, 4:41 pm
  #4  
 
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Nobody's giving my "new" home airport of late any love:

[SNA] is especially bad because the rich folks who live near the airport dont like jet noise, so they have this noise abatement procedure where you basically have to turn the plane into a ballistic missile as soon as youre airborne.
Eh? "Takeoff like ya stole it" is what makes flying outta there so great!
At some airports with really short runways, youre not going to have a smooth landing no matter how good we are: [SNA] ...
I wonder how many times he got to get in there; WN does a decent enough job, but there's been times I've wanted to ask if we'd landed, or were shot down instead. But I guess that would run contrary to:
Most of the time, how you land is a good indicator of a pilots skill. So if you want to say something nice to a pilot as youre getting off the plane, say Nice landing. We do appreciate that.
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Old Oct 15, 10, 3:28 pm
  #5  
 
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The "lingo"

Loved:

Blue juice: The water in the lavatory toilet. Theres no blue juice in the lav.
Crotch watch: The required check to make sure all passengers have their seat belts fastened. Also: groin scan.

Crumb crunchers: Kids. Weve got a lot of crumb crunchers on this flight.

Deadheading: When an airline employee flies as a passenger for company business.

Gate lice: The people who gather around the gate right before boarding so they can be first on the plane. Oh, the gate lice are thick today.

George: Autopilot. Ill let George take over.

Landing lips: Female passengers put on their landing lips when they use their lipstick just before landing.
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Old Oct 16, 10, 5:15 pm
  #6  
 
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Originally Posted by kennycrudup View Post
WN does a decent enough job [getting into SNA], but there's been times I've wanted to ask if we'd landed, or were shot down instead
Like 2464 last night; my butt still hurts!
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Old Oct 17, 10, 1:17 pm
  #7  
 
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Originally Posted by kennycrudup View Post
Like 2464 last night; my butt still hurts!
must have been a navy pilot, heh.
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Old Nov 11, 10, 8:00 am
  #8  
 
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Had an SNA landing many years back on WN that was unusually bumpy (even for SNA). FA began the post landing announcment with "Captain Kangaroo and the crew would like to welcome you to Orange County..."...

Don't seem to have as much fun on WN these days - have they tightened up the amount that FA's get to deviate from the script?
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Old Nov 11, 10, 10:45 am
  #9  
 
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The "Gate Lice" just cracked me up. I'm sure that's what it looks like from a distance. Pilots are good people, I'm sure they don't mean that in a demeaning way
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