carrotjuice

Not sure if the SQ forum is the rightful home for this discussion... if not Mods please help move.

Based in SIN (and previously HKG), we're all too familiar with families travelling together in F/J mostly in annual home trips paid for by the mom's or dad's company as a benefit. But occasionally I've seen families travelling on the same plane, with mom and dad in F/J but children are relegated to Y - presumably at mom's or dad's own expense.

I'm personally having an interesting discussion with my spouse whether it's appropriate to continue having our children (who are now reaching their early teens) travel in F/J with us, or should we start putting them in Y (yes, even when we can well afford their F/J ticket) just to make them realize that life doesn't come easy, that if they want the finer luxuries in life they'd have to work hard for the privilege (or be a savvy FTer - but that's digressing!) - so they don't grow up expecting that every person who boards a plane gets to stretch out in flat beds, use real cutlery and be served fine champagne. Both my spouse and I didn't grow up like that... indeed we did "slum" it out in Y for a good many years as teenagers, university students and young adults.

When our children were toddlers, my spouse simply wouldn't hear of it - saying they need proper attending inflight... supposedly the protective parental instinct also comes into play. But now they are almost teenagers, such considerations are no longer as warranted.

When would you start putting your children in Y to teach them "life's important lessons"? Do you do that only when they are travelling on their own, or even when you're on the same plane in F/J?

Should you even do that - and possibly be branded terrible parents?

dcman2

A very interesting question -

As a parent of teenagers, I think providing them with lessons emphasizing the need to be a hard worker and to appreciate what you have, no matter how much or how little, is quite important.

As a parent, I would base such a choice on how I expected my kids to behave on their own. If you expect your kids would be well-behaved and considerate to fellow travelers, then this may be a good opportunity for a life lesson. If not, then perhaps you may want to keep them with you and find a different way of teaching them the values you want them to have. In the end, as a parent I feel it is a parent's responsibility to manage their children on a plane and I wouldn't leave mine on their own unless I knew they could manage it.

dcman2

glob99

I guess you are saying, that the day to day lessons you teach your kids is insufficient. That having the kids travel in Y a few times a year will overcome the 300+ days of lessons.

aster

I don't think the airline would allow you to put toddlers back in econ with the parents in a different class of travel up front.

Since they are almost teenagers this should now be an option, and it's a very interesting subject-matter that you are touching here. I would use it as a reward more than anything, and focus it on school achievements: if they do well in school they get to fly up front, and if they underperform then they go back in Y until they improve. Show them that school and studying are a stepping-stone to a brighter future, chances for a better job, etc. It will give them something to work for (and to look forward to) with a reward within arms reach that isn't as distant as graduating from uni and getting a first job in the distant future.

JVPhoto

And here I clicked thinking it was going to be that little brats were running around the cabin and the parents were up front and couldn't be bothered...a much more civilized discussion!

Why not split the difference and maybe on more special occasions let them travel with you up front, if they are going out doing something on their own then maybe you put them in Coach?
Maybe through something else going on in their lives in terms of school or accomplishments their successes can earn their upgrade?

ryry2003

You are asking random people to tell you how to bring up kids to have values that they should already have or are acquiring from your parenting.

Maybe you should sit in Y with them to really drill home the point.

Anyone who has spent a fair amount of their lives travelling on planes should not consider themselves to be "slumming it" even if sitting in economy.

Maybe you might need to touch base with a child psychologist to make sure you are not going to scar them mentally for life by making them sit with Joe Average.

carrotjuice

Not random people, but like-minded people who equally appreciate the "value of the journey as the destination itself" (that's why we're all on FT) and how this can (should it?) translate to learning life's lessons through daily living.

Seriously, if you have nothing to contribute to the subject matter other than valueless sarcasm, kindly refrain from doing so.

redvelvetmartinis

IMO, it really depends on how mature and well-behaved your kids are... only you would know. You say "nearing teens", which leads me to believe they might only be what, 11? 12? To me, that age still justifies active parental supervision even on flights.

When I was a kid, I got to travel upfront only if my parents were traveling with me. Whenever I traveled with friends, or on my own (sans parents), it was always in economy, even if my parents had enough miles to upgrade me.

That being said, I think making your kids pay for their own holidays (when they travel on their own) is probably one of the best ways to teach them that if you want to enjoy the finer things in life, you've gotta work for it.

jagmeets

^

Not in your situation (yet) - but this question did come up in my and wife's minds on our last short leisure trip to the US, where the biz class seats were really useful - (7 days/time spent at 3 spots- east/west/midwest, get back to SIN at midnight, at work at 7AM the next morning)

Now this is something that we've 'slummed out' for before..perhaps its those experiences that make us really value/appreciate premium class travel. I thank my upper-middle/middle class upbringing for a) being (hopefully) sane about expenses, and, b) thankful for what we are now able to afford/do (smartly ).

Seen far too many examples of young adults with, in my opinion, a misplaced sense of what the real world is, and then struggling to cope with it.

So to answer your question - Yes, its a massive gray area, but (atleast as of now), my vote(?) for having your kids at the back, with maybe an occasional upgrade to reward an achievement/significant milestone.

[Infact, my wife's view is to downgrade ourselves a bit if/when kids start having memories of experiences, and then upgrade just us back when they get the ability to be on their own/ with us not being too far away]

ryry2003

Valueless sarcasm I beg to differ

A one of trip in economy is really going to show them what? That if you are not privileged, yes privileged, then you dont get luxuries. Reality check not all hard working people get to fly business/first class.

You obviously have no financial worries so why not utilise your good fortune and travel as a family unit as you and your spouse are taking them to wherever you are going.

Let them earn their keep when they want something.

rooivalk

I'm going to have to agree with the OP that if you have nothing nice to say/add, then don't.

Now back to the OP's question, I think this is all a matter of parenting style. Some want their family to fly together during a family trip, so they put everyone together in F/J. Some think their children should stay in economy to learn. It's really up to you and whether you think your children will end up with a sense of entitlement if you fly them in F/J all the time. If they are flying alone, my opinion is that they should always be in economy..

bluegreentravel

Yeah, some posts did appear snarkier than necessary. There are better ways of getting a message across...

Anyway...

I think this is a rather unique thread, and worth discussing. I too was expecting another "brat in a plane" debate, but was pleasantly surprised with the interesting issue.

I do agree with the point that staying in Y makes you appreciate small luxuries more, and serves as a reminder that one must work for something you want. I guess that's how I learned to love travel/airplanes too - before, the J/F cabin was just an aspiration. Perhaps it's indeed just a small (symbolic) lesson - but not an unimportant one.

ryry2003

Quote from O.P. "Should you even do that and possibly be branded terrible parents"

When people ask other people for advice it does not mean that everybody will agree with each other.It hopefully means you are going to get a varied response.

If you don't agree with one response doesn't mean you tell them not to put their response forward as all you are looking for is someone to agree with you.

I was told this when I didn't agree with what was said to me once.

Go to the local hardware store, buy some cement, wash it down with water and you will soon harden up.

It's all a part of the journey.

carrotjuice

What you're doing isn't critiquing the issue at hand, but taking a stab at the person who raised the issue or why the issue was raised - which isn't the least bit helpful.

I suppose all the cement well explains the apparent big chip on your shoulder.

For the rest - many thanks, I really appreciated your thoughts on the issue.

Too much travel

I am in full agreement with you - once the sprogs get to a certain age, they should be sat in Y even if you're in J/F, unless for some unknown reason you want to burden them with a sense of entitlement.

For what it's worth, I was a regular intercontinental commuter from a very young age (outsourced to prep then public school while the folks were in Asia) and can say that economy is no hardship at all when you're young.

This being Asia, the other way it's often done is the parents sitting up front, and the maid looking after the kids in Y.