globetrekker84

Hi...nice 20-year-old guy wanting to ask a legitimate (I think) question.

What do you women think of guys trying to hit on you while you're traveling? I'm inclined to think that you would hate us for trying, since...let's face it...a lot of guys aren't exactly thinking of long-term relationships...especially under these circumstances. But then again I hear of couples meeting randomly on planes, fall in love, get married, and you know the rest. I've met some very kind and attractive SQ stewardesses in the past. Ideally I would have flirted with them a little (with what little flirting I know), but I figure what's the point because they're not supposed to interact with passengers that way, and they're going to end up spitting in my food or whatnot, so I just don't. And then there's the (quite rare nowadays at least) wholesome-looking girl that takes your breath away (who isn't showing an absurdly ridiculous amount of skin...yeah yeah...I'm a very traditional hopeless romantic kind of guy).

So what I want to know is...what's your opinions of guys hitting on you while traveling? All comments appreciated. Thanks.

l etoile

Here's another similar thread you might want to take a look at.

http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=345723

globetrekker84

Thanks for the thread, but it seems that all the responses were stateside. I was thinking more along the lines of Asian flights, like Singapore for example. Since Asia is generally more conservative when it comes to dating and things like that, I was wondering for that region because I had a wonderfully attractive SQ stewardess and I wasn't sure what the bounds were about trying to flirt with her...you get the picture. Thanks.

miizzles

The cruel truth is that the ability to pick up SQ flight attendants or wholesome & modest girls on planes is god-given. You have it or you don't. And if you had it, you'd know it

P.S. Despite the fact that you're "very traditional", I'd advise you to call the stewardesses, "flight attendants"

dhuey

You need to find a woman on the rebound from a bad relationship. Look for one ordering a double gin & tonic.

Of course, she might be on the rebound from a worthless fling after she's done with you. (kidding)

globetrekker84

You do bring up a very good point...I've always wondered why SQ still called them stewardesses instead of flight attendants. That was the only reason I called them that. I actually typed out flight attend.., then backtracked to be technically correct (according to SQ at least). But you do bring up a good point...you know if you have it. Guess I'm still a little unsure right now. That cute SQ girl was pretty flirty with me or as much as possible I guess. We'll see how it goes. C'est la vie.

Kate_Canuck

It's important to remember the difference between "flirting" and "hitting on" someone. A person who flirts demonstrates a fairly mild, non-threatening interest in the other person as a human being and in their attractiveness in a holistic way. Your flirting technique should be as suitable for the 80-year old lady sitting beside you as the young woman you'd like to date. In fact, you should flirt with all kinds of women in this mild way; it will probably make you seem genuinely interested in women, instead of just interested in scoring. The goal is to brighten someone's day and thereby brighten your own. When you "hit on" someone, you're being much more aggressive, and you're probably thinking more about what you want to get than what you want to give. Occasionally, we're interested in this; more often than not (especially when we're travelling and stuck beside you in a lounge or on a plane), we're repelled.

dhuey

Kate, I wish I had appreciated that distinction when I was a teen and in my early 20s. The mild flirting you describe I great on so many levels. It's what I do with my daughters and, just last week, with my former landlady who is twice my age. It's puttin' on the charms, for the purpose of a pleasant experience for all. You can't say sexuality is absent since there is a male-female aspect to it, but it's really just friendly way of saying "I like you".

In my mid 20s, I started to do this with women I was very attacted to. If it seemed right, I would move it to a more overt expression of sexual interest. When the interest was mutual, that was terrific (of course!). When not, the rejection was not so harsh -- my favorite was a woman who told me, with a nice smile, that she didn't "do" younger men.

izzik

Most recently, I was hit on by this guy at RNO airport while waiting for my bump voucher processing. I'm all for flirting but just don't cross the line between fun conversation and harassment. Walking away from someone or changing seats mid-flight is not a realistic option, so it's important to respect the idea that your social prospect may not want to talk anymore.

wingless

Flirting is fine as long as you know when it is not desired. If they keep looking down to their book or magazine, or looking up at the movie it is your cue to end the conversation.

Of course if you are HOT you will not have this problem.

Hunnybear

I met both my husband and one of my bestest friends (both male flirters ) on airplanes! I think flirting is perfectly ok, and can even improve your day, as long as it's just that - flirting. The flirter must be sensitive to how receptive the flirtee is and not be overly aggressive or obnoxious.

buddhaman

Although I can appreciate that women must get annoyed and frustrated with unwanted attention, what do you think about gay men who get the same attention from women? Just a thought

missydarlin

Gay men are the most fun to flirt with. You can hone the flirting skills in a safe environment

SPN Lifer

Don't forget, globetrekker84, that a flight attendant ("stewardess" on SQ) is working. She is paid to be nice to passengers, but also forbidden to spend inordinate time on any particular one to the detriment of others.

You need to be charming enough that she'll want to initiate or continue contact after the trip if you want to have any chance of getting to know her. Obviously, giving her a business card or asking her number near the end of the trip might work. Or it might not.

Some passengers are more open and sharing because of the shared experience of possible death and enforced close physical proximity, others put up barriers for the same reasons.

Speaking as a guy who didn't get married until 34, I'd say your odds of meeting someone are best if you engage in activities or interests you enjoy. You might just find someone who shares the same. While meeting a flight attendant inflight might seem to be an application of this principle, remember, she's working. Pick-up places like bars are not generally the best foundation for a solid relationship.

Punki

buddhaman writes:

buddhaman, I am an old woman now, but I spent a lot of years being a "hottie" and there is one thing I know for sure, and that is that we pretty much get the attention we desire. We can easily send off "I am open for attention" signals or "leave me alone" signals and they will be properly received by all but the densest of recipients. While we must, of course, be polite to even the extremely dense, we can also be direct. "Thanks, but I am taken," works just fine and leaves everyone's ego intact.