LarryU

A Language Lesson in Tanjung Benoa

On my last day in Bali, I figured I would walk to the end of the Tanjung Benoa peninsula in the morning and then recover from the oppressive heat and humidity by enjoying the facilities of the Conrad in the afternoon. My flight from DPS back to SIN was not scheduled to depart until after 8:00 PM so this basically gave me another full day to explore. I walked along the beach for part of the way and then shifted over to the narrow road through town, figuring that there might be some more interesting sites to see there. Besides, I was getting tired of the friendly hawkers who relentlessly tried to offer me many fantastic deals for authentic fake Rolex watches. It always seemed like they were trying to make a monkey out of me. Once I reached the road, I came across this small Hindu temple:


As I approached the tip of the peninsula, I came upon another Hindu temple, a Buddhist temple and another building that seems to have been in a serious state of dilapidation. The entrance to the Buddhist temple was guarded by a pair of fierce stone tigers. As I stood there admiring the handiwork, a woman started walking in my direction bearing a basket containing a variety of items for sale. Unlike nearly everyone else I had encountered in my previous six days exploring Bali, she was neither pleasant nor smiling. She strode towards me with an air of resolute determination and kept uttering, "You buy, you buy!," over and over again. I tried walking away from her but every time I zigged, she zagged, continuing her unwavering robotic cadence. I remember initially thinking that perhaps she recognized me as a fellow inmate from Bangli as I beat a hasty retreat from the area.

I briefly passed by a small, open air, building, at the back of which I could discern a small Ogoh-Ogoh undergoing what seemed to be the final stages of preparation. At least from afar, this demon appeared to be the child-sized, economy version, and not wanting to linger in the area any longer, I wandered off in the direction of a neighboring marina. A nearby school had just let out its young charges and both sides of the street were soon swarming with uniformed students, basking in their newfound freedom.



A few minutes after I had successfully escaped from the clutches of the maniacal hawker, a man wandered over, smiled and engaged me in conversation. He introduced himself as Max and said that he has been living in Bali for four years but was originally from Timor, asking me if I knew where that was. Max asked me where I was staying and, of course, I told him I was from Bangli but, for some reason, he did not believe this. So I told him I was staying with a friend in Kuta who had dropped me off to walk around for a while and would be picking me up later. I talked to Max for about half an hour and it appeared that he was quite desperate for work as a driver. He invited me to sit with him and some of his buddies, which I respectfully declined, explaining that I would be flying out a little later in the day and needed to start heading back soon. We talked for another 15 minutes or so and then went our separate ways.

I continued wandering around the tip of Tanjung Benoa for a short while longer and then eventually turned back to start my return walk to the Conrad. About 25 minutes later, who should I see on the sidewalk but my new friend Max, along with some of his buddies. We all talked for a while and then Max opined that my message, Saya Tidak Mau, was actually somewhat rude and abrupt. He insisted on rewriting the words on my note and I insisted he leave my note alone but invited him to write something from scratch.

There was much discussion between him and his friends about the very best syntax to use but eventually something was scribbled out for me. At that point, all of the guys were in agreement and they were happy, smiling and laughing. I thanked them for their “help” and then continued on my walk back to the Conrad. Instinctively, I choose not to deploy his note right away, preferring to examine it closely myself in more comfortable surroundings.

Afterwards, I could not make out all of the words but using my intimate knowledge of Bahasa Indonesia, I was able to discern words like Mencari and cinta so the best I could decipher was that the message said that I was "looking for love." That certainly was sweet of him. Two other words were much more difficult to read but they looked something like, "Giggity Giggity."

I was nearly overcome with heat by the time I made it back to the wonderful, air-conditioned embrace of my room and, after relaxing for a while, went for a swim in one of the huge but shallow pools. The water was quite tepid but I hung around a while and soon, of course, it began to rain. Not wanting to get wet while I was swimming, I returned to my room to get my act together and prepare to check out.

The Balinese Meat Tenderizer

I checked out of the Conrad at the club lounge and then lingered there for a little while longer to relax and re-hydrate. When I arrived in the lobby, the Conrad personnel tried to foist a no-name taxi on me but I specifically requested a Blue Bird taxi because they are fairly well regarded as being both honest and reliable. After a 10 minute wait in front of the hotel, my taxi pulled up and we were soon on our way to the airport. However, the going was somewhat slow at first because a large procession of people filled the streets. I was very deeply touched that the people of Bali had all banded together to offer this fitting tribute to my departure and escort me from Nusa Dua. ^



Once we escaped from the gates of Nusa Dua, the ride through Kuta was swift and uneventful. The water had receded, the traffic was relatively light and, for once, the sun was out. As we approached the vicinity of the airport, an even larger assemblage of people, many adorned in the fanciest traditional attire, were gathering in the street.

I entered the airport, paid the hefty 150,000 rupiah departure fee and then sought out the Singapore Airlines check in counter. Once I had successfully obtained my business class boarding pass for SIN, I asked the check-in agent if she could kindly issue boarding passes for my UA flights the next day. At first, she insisted that she was positively, absolutely sure that she could not do this and besides, even if she could, it was probably not allowed anyway. I very politely urged her to give it a try, pointing out that Singapore agents in KUL had been able to do this successfully on a previous trip. Certainly, I reasoned, she could work her computer at least as well as her coworkers in Kuala Lumpur?

With the help of two other agents, she worked on this task for about 10 minutes and was eventually able to produce two out of the four UA boarding passes. Her inability to generate all of my boarding passes was actually fine with me because I was actually just interested in the first segment. The check-in agent then asked me for my ticket number, which somewhat confused me because she had already printed my UA boarding passes without it. I was unable to produce the ticket number, having only the record locator handy, so I quickly hid the first boarding pass just in case she changed her mind. She consulted with her coworkers for a few more minutes and then finally allowed me to go on my way, presenting me with an invitation to the Premier Lounge.

After some additional traipsing around and then ascending several levels of escalators, I eventually found myself at customs and immigration, where I handed over my passport and immigration form. This process took a little longer that it should have because I had forgotten that I still had my original Saya Tidak Mau note displayed prominently in my shirt pocket. All of the immigration officers burst out in laughter, especially when I told them I was from Bangli. Thankfully, I chose not to deploy the new and improved note that Max and the gang had so thoughtfully written out for me in the streets of Tanjung Benoa.

I then wandered over to the Premier Lounge, which is accessible up a long flight of stairs. The very spacious and comfortable lounge boasted a wide variety of hot and cold munchies plus a limited supply of adult beverages. An outdoor patio overlooking the ocean was closed but I preferred to enjoy the well air-conditioned indoor environment anyway. I located several computers hidden away in one corner of the lounge so I decided to camp out there to catch up on email while snacking on munchies.

The work area actually turned out to be much noisier than I anticipated because many of the lounge attendants were gathered around a nearby television, enjoying a Balinese soap opera at very high volume. In addition, I soon heard other strange loud noises, which sounded like huge slabs of meat being hit with great force. When I left my seat to seek out the source of these sounds, it turned out that it really was the sound of meat being tenderized -- someone was being given a massage in one corner of the lounge.



About 45 minutes before my flight was scheduled to depart, I exited the premier lounge and sauntered off to the gate. The departure lounge was very crowded and I endured a short but fairly uncomfortable wait until passengers were finally allowed to board. What was especially interesting was that an arriving flight had just pulled up to adjacent gate and all of the passengers were sharing the same walkway. Given that arriving passengers should not be allowed to mix with those on the outbound flight, the airport staff would take turns, allowing a dozen or so inbound passengers to walk through and then would hold back the line for a while so some of the passengers on our flight could board.



Despite the crowds that had amassed within the departure lounge, the load in the business class cabin was actually quite light and my seat opponent soon relocated to grab a couple of seats for himself. The flight crew was pleasant as usual and we landed in SIN just a few minutes late, at the far reaches of the A gates in Terminal 3. Fifteen minutes later, I had made my way over to terminal 1 and entered my room at the transit hotel.

No Whining

Given UA's flight cancellation performance of late, I must confess that I confronted my upcoming four segment return trip to PDX with some trepidation. Having picked up my business class boarding pass in DPS while checking in for my SIN flight the prior evening, I was able to relax and catch up on email in the Terminal 2 SKL lounge before returning to the C transfer desk in Terminal 1 to pick up my "real" UA boarding passes for my upcoming flights. Given its origins, Saya Tidak Mau means the same in Bahasa Malaysia as it does in Bahasa Indonesia so the two check-in agents got quite a kick at my note.



Another advantage to showing up to collect my “real” UA boarding passes at the fashionably late hour of 6:30 AM was that there were no longer any passengers remaining in the queue, which can be very long and slow moving at times. Surprisingly, 50 or so transfer passengers still remained camped out and sleeping soundly nearby. I am still amazed that they managed to sleep at all with so much noise emanating from the "Tyra Banks" program, cackling at high volume from a nearby television.



The flight out of SIN was fine, enhanced by the usual friendly and attentive service provided by the SIN based crew. In NRT, I had plenty of time to relax in the ANA lounge, catch up on Flyertalk and enjoy a nice bowl of soba:



and some ice cream:



and some additional snacks, accompanied by several servings of my favorite beverage, gin and tonic deployed in a tall “beer robot” glass:



I boarded my flight to LAX as late as I could and was instantly recognized by the crew from previous trips. And from what I could see, one FA in particular was well prepared for my arrival:



I apologize that her face is so fuzzy in the photograph but I must admit that after so many beer robot gin and tonics, I was somewhat pixilated by the time I boarded the flight.

When I finally arrived back home in PDX, I was very relieved to discover that my apartment was completely free of evil monkeys. I am now in the process of getting my act together for a trip to Sarawak tomorrow, where I hear that the orang utans are very clever. Proboscis monkeys are also native to Borneo but I am a little leery about sticking my nose where it doesn't belong.

Until then, I will think back fondly to all of the monkey business in Bali.