Just an update - we decided to go with Manresa in Los Gatos and it was absolutely perfect. Both of us agreed that it was the best meal we have ever had, and hands down better and more creative than our meal at The French Laundry.

+1
We were there last Thursday (Mrs. SFO's B-Day fave) and the service, food and wine continue to be exceptional. One of the best special occasion venues in the city.

I see about 5 different dining threads here, so I'm sort of picking one randomly.

I'm planning my wife's 40th birthday dinner. She is very much a fan of fine dining - as much for the ambiance/presentation as for the food. I'm looking for the best overall experience - high end and/or "jackets required" is OK.

Anything from Napa to Big Sur is fair game. Right now, I have a reservation for The Dining Room but I wonder what the style/feel will be like being inside a large city hotel. (I've heard the food is incredible, but if the place feels too much like a "client dinner" I might opt for something else.)

I'm just outside 2 months so I could book French Laundry right when it becomes available. We've already eaten at Nepenthe (that's a different style than we're looking for anyway). We are having lunch the following day at the Post Ranch Inn. This thread is the first I've heard of the Los Gatos place.

Thoughts?

The Dining Room is in my opinion the best for what you are planning. The fact that it is in a hotel is entirely forgotten as soon as you step inside. It is not client dinner-ish at all most of the time and even when there is a table of business people, the room is so small and the ambiance so sophisticated that it brings even that in line with the romantic atmosphere. Really lovely and will certainly make her feel special. That said, there are many good places for this kind of event, I just particularly fancy The Dining Room for pure sophisticated romance, great food, and a memorable night.

Manresa remains one of my most memorable meals when I lived in San Francisco. Wonderful place and a very innovative menu.

I also have had 3 outstanding meals at Cyrus in Healdsburg.

I am a lady who turned 40 in SF (not too long ago, mind you), so I'll share my experience. I also lived there many years and had the opportunity to try most fine dining restaurants in the city.
Dining Room: it's all that had been said, but the ambiance is a tad bit too "old". Your fellow diners will be, too. IME. The place is too quiet, where diners on the next table can hear you, unless you whisper.

Romantic places:
- The Campton Place: small dining room, but food and service are excellent (had my bday there last year)
- Masa's: love their table for 2, where the couple gets to side by side. A little "last supperish", but it makes (private) conversation easier.
- Silks at the Mandarin Oriental
- French Laundry: the Holy Grail. Obviously, it's hard to get a table... good luck with not get a busy sign when you call. If you are willing to go there for lunch, or on a weeknight, your chances are much higher, once you actually get to speak to someone.
Also rans: Michael Mina, Fleur de Lys, Coi

Just had dinner at Coi last night and it was seriously good. It's much more vegetable focused than other tasting menus but there were ingredients and combinations I had never had before, and nearly every one of the 11 courses were beautiful and delicious.

Cyrus in Healdsburg would be my pick for a special occassion dinner. Absolutely fantastic dining experience.

OK, let me throw out another one: Sierra Mar at the Post Ranch Inn. My original plan was lunch there on Saturday, but what about doing dinner there on Friday and maybe just prowling the area vineyards on Saturday for lunch?

(For what it's worth, we're staying south so the Big Sur location is actually a bit better than being in SF.)

Or is this a full step down from the top restaurants in the region? My only concern with places that offer such a spectacular setting is that they sometimes mail it in in terms of the cuisine itself, as compared to the few other places in its price range. (If so, this would make it a better lunch stop.)

Just had dinner at the Village Pub in Woodside. the feel is more homey than you'd expect from a fine dining experience, but the service is great and the food is wonderful. No delicate, intricate presentations, ala Manressa (which I liked but didn't love), but the food was well cooked,well seasoned and good portion sized.
One Michelin star, I believe.

I am not a fan of Manresa, it is ok, nothing special, this place is pretty good though. And Los Gatos has the best sushi in Sushi on the Run although it is a scrum for the seats as there are only 8 of them - but well worth the wait plus BYOB and no corkage fee !

agreed. I can appreciate the skill it took to develop this foam or that gelee, but the meal there felt...disjointed? there was really no flow from one course to the next (and I had the chef's tasting menu). every course felt like the chef was saying "look at me!!" in the end, I felt like I had a series of very well cooked (or even great) courses, but not a great meal.

A native SF'ers opinion.
 

As a native San Franciscan who likes dining, I have been to most of these places mentioned above including French L, Masa's, Gary D's, Fleur de Lys, La Folie, Ritz Carlton Dining Room, Aqua, Michael Mina, Campton Place, Coi, and Cyrus. I have not been to Manresa.

For a really unique experience, you cannot go wrong with French Laundry. I think you cannot go wrong with the Ritz dining room, either. It is just classic luxury. Cyrus is far out there geographically, but I think it is worthy of its two Michelin stars. It is a great place. Gary D's is in the same league as the others food-wise, but ambiance wise it is somewhat crowded. Masa's is very romantic, Michael Mina is less so. Fleur de Lys tends to be more on the older side clientelle wise. Aqua is over-rated and does not have very good food. Campton place has lost their chef, and Coi's food is very strange. If it were me, I would pick French Laundry, Cyrus, Ritz Carlton, Gary D's, or Fleur de Lys.

My husband and I tried the Dining Room at the Ritz this weekend and thought it had some great courses but was not quite creative enough for the money. All of the fish courses leading up to the poultry and meat were very, very good. The poultry and meat, however, were both bland and bizarre.

The poultry was quail and it was a bit tough and included an overly sweet sauce. Both of us said "Panda Express" at the same time. The meat was beef tenderloin, which is usually lacks enough fat to provide significant flavor anyway, but here tasted a bit like the meat I get on transcons in CO F. Not bad, but not worth that kind of money.

Fortunately, someone else was picking up the bill, and the first few courses were very, very good. So were the wine pairings, so we did not really feel disappointed. However, I think we would have been unhappy if we had done it as a special occasion thing on our own $$.

So now I've been to Manresa, Masa's, The Dining Room at the Ritz Carlton, Coi, and The French Laundry, and the only two that were worth spending my own $$ were Manresa and Coi. We still need to try Cyrus.

OUCH!
 

I would be horrified. And disgusted.