Pasta is a liquid
 

Gatwick airport last week.

I had picked up some pasta at the M&S Simply Food to cook when I got home that evening and put it in my carryon.

Going through security, the bag gets flagged.

"What's this?"
"Pasta"
"Didn't you read the signs about liquids?"
"Yes, but this is pasta"
"Pasta is a liquid"
"Huh? How is pasta a liquid?"
"You have to add water to cook it. That makes it a liquid"
"I see, may I speak to the Zulu please"

(ed. note : "Zulu" is the callsign for the BAA Security supervisor at Gatwick South)

Zulu is summoned. Thankfully, the duty Zulu knows me casually and we exchange New Year greetings.

"Whats the problem?"
"He's trying to take these liquids through"
"What liquids?"
(holding up package of pasta) "These"
"That's pasta"
"Yes"

Moment of puzzled silence.

"Thats ok, he can take it."

Monty Python couldn't have scripted it any better.

:D:D:D

Is SPAM a liquid too?

According to my contact at the Ministry of Silly Liquids, yes, Spam is indeed a liquid.

Perhaps they would have let me pass were I carrying some shrubbery for them. :D

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?

"Sir, newspapers are prohibited on board."
"Why?"
"Because if you put the newspaper in a blender with a lot of water, it would become a liquid, and that would be prohibited."

sheesh, and here i was thinking that the brits were at least half on the ball when it came to security theatre.....

Nah, chances are it's an evil liberal paper and there could be an article about us in there spun to fit the libs.

So does that mean you can't carry more than 100 grams of cash as currency is considered a liquid asset.

"A shrubbery!!!????"

"Why yes, something very nice; not too expensive....."

:D

Since you knew the supervisor, you should have offered him the box of pasta to club that moron over the head with.

What's next - we can't carry rice because it can be used to make congee?

Don't run with that pasta - somebody's gonna lose an eye!

It's actually more eye-safe when cooked.

Great illustration of the fact lobotomees are hired throughout the world for airport security...

"You have to add water to cook it (pasta.) That makes it a liquid"

Unbe-<censored>-lievable!

You should have told him that the pasta was a fruit and its harvested from the spaghetti tree.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spaghetti_tree