After having just watched Star Wars again, I am sorely tempted:

SPOT - Where are you going today, sir?
DD438 - (slight wave of hand) These aren't the droids you're looking for.
SPOT - Do you think this is a joke?
DD438 - (slight wave of hand) He is free to go about his business.
SPOT - Sir, what are you doing?
DD438 - (slight wave of hand) Move along.

Of course, I will probably just stick with my normal - just a stare with no verbal utterances.

If you just want to get on your flight and to hell with the principle of it all, you answer the nice BDO's questions in the most grovelling, obsequious fashion you can muster.

OTOH if you value dignity and liberty, I recommend non-verbal communication. Shaking of head, holding out BP, rolling eyes etc. are OK.
You'll get a secondary, maybe a LEO interview, maybe miss your flight. Worth it IMHO.

The TSA always asks me "how are you today" kind of questions. I'm polite but if they start asking where I am going or what I'm doing, I just say whatever is printed on my BP.

"Where are you going today?"
--"New York"
"What's in New York?"
--Lots of stuff. Broadway, the Empire State Building, good restaurants, Central Park...

And keep on like that until they get tired of my list. ;)

"Sorry I don't speak English"

Jeez, you guys put too much effort into this.

SPOT: How are you today?
Me: Uh huh.
SPOT: Where are you going?
Me: Uh huh.
SPOT: Where are you going?
Me: Uh huh.
SPOT: WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
Me: Uh huh.

Took an SSSS (2 minutes) and a chat with a LEO (1 min) after that, but it was worth it.

Henry

I hope you folks who tell spottie to go pound sand are also filing complaints if you are harassed in any further manner.

If by pound sand, you mean what I said above ("uh huh"), and by harrassssed, you mean the ss-nonsense-ss and a short chat with a cop, then I haven't actually filed a complaint. The LWO and I talked about this for a minute, and agreed it was of little actual use, and that was that.

Henry

Yes, "uh-huh" = 'pound sand' in this situation. ^

I suggest filing a complaint:

• At the airport with TSA
• On the phone with TSA
• By email with TSA
• With your airline
• With your elected representatives

"May I have a comment card that you are required to make available?" Just keep repeating this to each question since most of the stations I have been to don't have them available.

- Bring me a taco. :D

"How are you today, ma'am?"

"OH! You poor man!" (digging into handbag)

"What are you doing, ma'am?"

"You look so distressed. Would you like an aspirin? You need to sit down and take it easy. Would you like for me to call for help?"

"You'd better take this seriously, lady."

Me, looking around. "Oh, I do, I do! You poor man!" Waving for help. "Officer, officer! Can you please call for help for this man?"

"Hi, how are you today"

"Sorry, I'm straight." (or, if it's a female BDO, "Sorry, I'm married")

"I just want to ask you a few questions."

"I'm not interested in your religion and I already have enough credit cards."

"This will just take a moment."

"OFFICER! This weirdo is harassing me! HELP!"

"Sorry, I gave at the office."

And, of course, you can just stay quiet, point to your throat and shake your head.

My god, no, don't do that! It will be taken as a threat!