A premium ticket can also be the Klueless Kettles taking that "once in a lifetime trip to London" so they splurge and buy a first class tic.

I assume people mean an Elite level FF card. Any newbe can sign up for a FF card before their first trip. As has been mentioned, even an Elite is not always a road warrier/checkpoint expert. I have requalified Elite before on two trips, although how many newbes do such a thing? RT JAX-SIN and JAX-SEA is all it takes. On these two trips you go thru screening a total of only seven times, although with different rules (overseas places do not require shoe removal or Freedom Baggies out) a newbe who experienced these only seven screenings would not be well trained at how to move smoothly thru a typical TSA experience.

Egypt-Pakistan-Europe-US-Europe-US-Dry Runs. FWIW: If they had picked their flights on one alliance and used a FF number, some of the 9/11 hijackers might have qualified as Elite level FFers. :eek:

The Pay to Cut In Line card (with how to not be an idiot rules) might work, but if sold to anyone, there needs to be enforcement against slowing down the works. Every time you alarm the WTMD or get a Xray "bagcheck" call, TSA marks your card with a secret UV mark (like a deli punching a buy 10 get one free card). The TDC now has to examine your card each time (an excuse for his blacklight) until "Sorry dude, you have five Beeps and Bagchecks in the past year, your card is revoked and confiscated for Checkpoint Cluelessness, go to the back of the longest line." ;)

They should make it just like the ski slope model it purports to follow. If you go in the black diamond line but are not qualified you quickly accelerate uncontrolled to about 45 miles per hour down a steep mountain, and then tumble end over end for the next 1000 feet or so and have your face buried in snow. Then you have to pick your battered and bruised self up, hike back up the mountain to retrieve all your equipment which is now strewn all over the mountainside and then hike the rest of the way to the bottom while all your more experienced buddies fly past you laughing at you because after all what good are buddies if they don't get a good laugh at your expense.

Great Idea. TSA version: "Anyone using the Expert line who sets off the Metal Detector will get an automatic two second retaliatory tasing." :D

I haven't had any issues going through DEN yet, but maybe I've just been lucky. The constant ID checks are annoying, but the line's been fairly short every time I go. The first time I noticed the black diamond line, I did a dance and skipped over; my workmate failed to follow my example and got caught in the family line behind two families with multiple strollers each. Needless to say, I was through and waiting for him for about fifteen minutes before he appeared.

Unfortunately I don't have my Nexus card yet (interview scheduled for June, though I'm stalking the reservation system for a cancellation), which makes customs in YYZ the big headache.

ok, i'll rephrase. what about the person who splits their flights between skyteam and oneworld?

or a travel agent who flies for free?

or a dependent of an airline employee...who might travel more than a low level employee?

hell, someone flying twice a week NYC-WAS(hington DC) on United would only be earning 460 miles/trip...bringing them in just under 24K miles...and not an elite...but i guess they shouldn't be allowed to use the expert line

It will fit through the WTMD, but that's not what we do. Some airports have gates at every WTMD, others have some special lane where those of us who are going to be hand searched get to go.

The way it usually works is that I do the bin thing (lickety-split), wheel up to the gate (usually right next to the WTMD), and watch my stuff go through the x-ray while the TSO yells "Female Assist!" a couple dozen times, and I start complaining about my stuff getting to where I can't see it any more.

Eventually Female Assist turns up, we argue a little more about whether I'm going to be able to keep an eye on my stuff (because Female Assist has been pre-programmed to assume that all wheelchair users come with a personal assistant stapled to them at the hip, and my imaginary PA should be looking after my stuff).

Once my stuff and I have been reunited (although I can't touch it at this point, oh no!) I get hand searched (which by the way has been MUCH more thorough in the last couple of months - not just breasts but crotch, butt, between legs, ... ), get swabbed (shoes, hands, cushion, wheels, maybe back of chair and under chair), and then get to go on my merry way.

Note that at no time (except at the bin filling part) am I impeding anyone else's progress.

I got one with my 'chair; he came in the little yellow box stapled to the bottom flap, underneath some packing foam. Did you check there?

Veering back on-topic: I have no status on any airline, but I read FlyerTalk like a drowning man reading "How to Swim for Complete Idiots" and can get through any airport checkpoint quickly. Even my wife, who has a disdain for bulletin boards I've never before seen, can get through them easily because she has this shocking ability to read. (And to think, folks, she wasn't even born here) Oh, and watching what others who appear to be moving efficiently do hasn't hurt in the slightest.

Ergo, which line should we use?

I think The Government is, shockingly, asking and attempting to answer the wrong questions here. Reiterating them will do no good unless or until we can get some people in office who will actually pay attention and make sensible decisions. Unfortunately, the people who have the most coherent voice are also the ones who go slowest through airports and wouldn't mind going a little slower, even, if it makes them Feel Safe(tm).

I knew I was going to regret mentioning my smooth transits through Denver. On the trip home this week, I went right to the Diamond line and got stuck behind:

- A woman wrestling with her baby and stroller
- A clueless bint who got sent back twice, first to remove her shoes, then for various metal objects (watch, earrings, etc). She was also wearing enough perfume to knock you out at 20 paces.

Next time, I'm going through the puffer line.

Gotta love the ski refernce on lines. Everyone thinks their an expert. I can get through with my 2 toddlers, stroller and all the related toy bags faster than many "experienced" business travelers.

Indeed. I wear a plastic belt through security, follow the stupid 3-1-1 rules carefully, take the laptop out, shoes off, yadda yadda. You'll find me, with my 8 yr old, in whatever line I think will get me through fastest, thank you.

But I'm not sure I get it (haven't experienced the diamond lines yet though). It doesn't seem to me that the delay is pax taking an undue amount of time. Usually when I am ready to walk through, I have to wait to get my bags and bins onto the roller belt. Or there's a delay because two lines funnel to one at the metal detector. Or whatever.

The only solution that would make sense would be some way to peel out the pax who set the detector off once, or who need any additional instruction. But its too late by then - once their bags are going through the belt, they have to go through that station as well.

Can anyone testify that these new lane designations have made one bit of difference? Except to add to the drone of the annoying repititious announcements?

I can't testify to that. Everyone thinks that they are an expert, 'til their bag goes thru the xray and it is full of liquids. I think that along with the "no fly list" we should have a list of people who have failed the expert lane, and they are then banned from ever using the expert lane again!

Doesn't matter what criteria you set up. Everything from the airline check-in process, to going through "security," to boarding the aircraft and sitting down in said aircraft, are all subliminally trained to hurry up, and go as fast as you can.

Thus, people will always go through to the shortest line.

I think they create an expectation that often isn't met ... unfortunately.

And people (both PAX and TSOs) have noticeably less patience with the hapless Kettles who inadvertently stray into the wrong lane.

The joke going around at my airport is something along the lines of diamonds being created by applying pressure ... :mad:

I fear that it's getting kinda ugly, folks! :(

On which side? Can you elaborate?

I can easily imagine when I'm in the diamond lane with my family getting "the look" from some gentleman in a suit behind me. I can imagine him complaining, and me telling him to mind his own business. I don't hold up the lines (though I do insist on putting my shoes on at the end of the belt - why don't we have chairs to use for such that are closer than 50 feet away across dirty airport floor???).

But I don't look that different, honestly, from the family that was just behind me a few weeks ago at term B in Logan. "What, we can't take our lacrosse sitcks? Where does it say we can't take our lacrosse sticks on board?" - long discussion which then has them taking all their stuff and going back to check in, therebly stalling the line for five minutes. (So I checked the TSO web site, and, surprise, it lists "lacrosse sticks" as forbidden items - if it wasn't obvious to start with).

As it was introduced here in BOS (I think only in terminal A so far?) the pitch was "if you think you need extra time, you can get in a line which is slower so you feel more comfortable". As someone said above, given the ethos of the whole check in and scurry to gate process, that seems ludicrous. The people behind me didn't think they were clueless - they appeared to be a reasonably well off suburban family.

Then there was a flight this winter out of BOS where a guy wearing a badge goes through with his family, looked like a CO employee heading off on vacation? He had a couple of full sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner. As the screener, who found them, said, "You, of all people, ought to know the rules".