PTravel

This morning, I was at T6 (UA's premium check-in side) at LAX for a flight to SFO. I picked up my boarding pass out of a Mr. Chicken (a check-in kiosk for you non-UA types) and went over to where the ID checker has always been. Normally, the ID check is virtually instant -- I've never once had to wait more than a few seconds. Today, there was a long line that snaked around waiting to have their IDs checked. I joined the line and waited. And waited. And waited. After about 20 minutes, I was 3 or 4 people away from the ID checker. I watched as he went through the charade of picking up the boarding pass, examining it with a magnifying loupe (!), putting the loupe down, picking up his super-secret, Tom Swift LED flashlight, shining it on the ID and examining it minutely, then putting it down, deliberately picking up a stamp, stamping the back of the boarding pass, then putting it down and picking up a pen and initialing the front of the boarding pass. After each checking a passenger, he'd look up at the line and say, "Please have your boarding pass and ID out of your purse or wallet," and then take the next person. I timed this . . . um . . . security professional (he was TSA, not AirServ), and he was taking 30-60 seconds for each passenger.

As we all waited, there was much grumbling on the line which, of course, was composed exclusively of elites and/or F pax. One or two pax before my turn, he got into a protracted discussion with a couple who (1) weren't elite, and (2) had evidently arrived without any ID, or else, without "proper" ID, meaning something this genius could read. He told them they had to see a "Security Supervisor" and gave them a long series of directions, as if talking to a child: "Go over to that stanchion, turn left, then follow it to the end, then you'll come to another stanchion . . . etc." THEN he called over someone from AirServ and gave them a long explanation of why he had sent the couple over. THEN he pulled out his walkie talkie and spent another several minutes telling whoever was on the other end what he had done, why, where he had sent them, etc.

All this time, the line grew longer and longer and people grew more and more impatient. Finally, someone in the middle of the line yelled, "Come on, start checking IDs already!" This call was taken up by a lot of people in line (myself included) and we all started yelling -- "This is ridiculous. Get someone else over here. We're going to miss our flights. etc." Finally, the Pride of TSA went back to checking IDs as imperiously and slowly as before. I think, if he hadn't, there would really have been an incident. People were furious. A couple of people started moving towards the front of the line and I really think, if he had delayed a moment more, there would have been a rush for the WTMD.

BTW, the elite entrance in T6, where Mr. Meticulous was working, opens into a long corridor with no entrances or exits that, in turn, leads directly to the WTMD stations -- it is impossible for anyone to join the queue between the ID check and the WTMD (of course, there was no queue anyway because Inspector Closeau had slowed througput to a trickle). Nonetheless, ID was checked 2 more times by AirServ personnel.

So, half an hour in line JUST TO GET MY ID CHECKED ON THE ELITE-ONLY LINE.

Gee, does everyone feel safer now?

goalie

sounds like you had the same effing morons on the ua t-7 footbridge i experienced on the lax-iad portion of the mlk w/e do.

2 lines and i was having my i/d examined as you described by the checker on the right hand line (and n.b. a fellow f/t'er is with me and right behind me)

both of us are "cleared" (oh, goody, i'm cleared but i digress) to move over to the belt and start unloading our goodies along with several other pax when a tsa employee pops his head out from behind the x-ray machine and says, "hey, you can't be here, this lane is closed" (and this after there already about 10 pax putting their evil ter'wrist belongings into the grey bins).

as we made our way to the left side line, myself and a few other pax gave it to the i/d checker that she needs to be aware of the fact the lane that she is sending pax to is closed and to send them to the other lane. the response: "sorry, not my problem"

typical tsa b/s and is i've taken to saying....tsa = tfs

GUWonder

I am wondering if some of these TSA ID checkers are told to "go slow" and "stare down" passengers as part of SPOT-type BDO training.

This will make for another good SNL skit -- one where art sadly reflects reality all too well.

Jaimito Cartero

Perhaps they've been training the mentally challenged for new jobs? While I'm all for everyone having a job that they can handle, percentage of mentally challenged TSA employees seems a bit too much for the time sensitive positions.

<cough>

MikeMpls

One of these days there will be a real riot at the checkpoints.

Can't happen soon enough ...

GUWonder

One of these days there will be a lot of people in line complaining about this openly. At least I am making a habit of saying "I think these ID checks are waste of my time and everyone else's behind me".

Spiff

If only the crowd had picked up the TSA employee up and hauled him/her off!

Viva la Revolution!

Haveaniceday

I hope you're in the habit of saying this to your congress person and not the person checking your ID. Saying it to the person checking your ID is even more of a waste of time then them checking your ID.

Spiff

Who knows?

Maybe the ID checker will realize the gross, un-American harassment they are participating in and quit.

Haveaniceday

And then your time at the check point would be even longer because it would be understaffed. Great plan.

GUWonder

I've already told my elected officials; and I am in the habit of saying this to the TSA employee checking my ID as well. They waste more time checking my ID than it takes me to tell them that these ID checks are a waste of my time and that of everyone else's in line.

At least I haven't reminded the TSA ID checkers that the Commies and Nazis used to be obsessed with checking ID when travelling domestically too.

donsig

Whoa Nelly....don't use the Nazi word...you could go to jail! http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=787558

Idiots and Morons.

Olton Hall

May 11 has a strong possibility of a real riiot with the first day of the Real ID mess. I can hear the chanting now. "Let us fly. Let us fly. Let us fly."

MikeMpls

That's when large nos. of us should show up early & bog down the system with SSSS checks.

GUWonder

ID checking causes brain damage? Or Kip Hawley and Michael Chertoff are in charge and it shows.