" I thought I recognized those acrylic letters!"
#1
Original Poster
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: DFW
Programs: OWE AA EXP;*A TK Gold; Marriott LTT; Hyatt Globalist; IHG Plat; National VIP
Posts: 3,087
" I thought I recognized those acrylic letters!"
Flying from ORD through DTW on Monday afternoon. Terminal 2, NW First Class and Elite pax ID check point. Short line, two people ahead of me. ID checker, wearing TSA uniform, takes my passport (I was traveling to a country that has rather odd position in regard to US Passports, so I was using my Russian passport on this trip), looks for my name in the passport. Now, the data page in any passport is either on the very first, or the very last page, given that most passports are machine readable nowadays. It should not be hard to open the passport right at its cover and see what name appears on the page. It takes her, no joke, 2 minutes to thumb through the passport, not realizing where to look. At this point, I am not saying anything, as I am very amused. She then randomly stops at a page with an old Brazilian visa, and says "what is that suppose to mean?" To which I reply: "Its a visa." She has this bewildered look on her face, can't find my name on the visa, gives up and says, while looking at my passport: "Where is this THING from anyway?", to which I reply: "Russia." Her response: "I thought I recognized those ACRYLIC letters!"
My name: never found and never checked (not that it matters anyway).
My tax money: wasted
My amusement level: through the roof
Benefit for linguistic science: TSA has discovered new ACRYLIC alphabet!
My name: never found and never checked (not that it matters anyway).
My tax money: wasted
My amusement level: through the roof
Benefit for linguistic science: TSA has discovered new ACRYLIC alphabet!
#2
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: TYO
Programs: Tokyo Monorail Diamond-Encrusted-Platinum
Posts: 9,603
... all Greek to me
Celeriac script is handy for when you're feeling peckish.
You're just fortunate that she didn't realize you could take out the entire terminal with your azbuka.
You're just fortunate that she didn't realize you could take out the entire terminal with your azbuka.
Last edited by jib71; Nov 14, 2007 at 7:59 am
#3
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: An NPR mind living in a Fox News world
Posts: 14,153
Flying from ORD through DTW on Monday afternoon. Terminal 2, NW First Class and Elite pax ID check point. Short line, two people ahead of me. ID checker, wearing TSA uniform, takes my passport (I was traveling to a country that has rather odd position in regard to US Passports, so I was using my Russian passport on this trip), looks for my name in the passport. Now, the data page in any passport is either on the very first, or the very last page, given that most passports are machine readable nowadays. It should not be hard to open the passport right at its cover and see what name appears on the page. It takes her, no joke, 2 minutes to thumb through the passport, not realizing where to look. At this point, I am not saying anything, as I am very amused. She then randomly stops at a page with an old Brazilian visa, and says "what is that suppose to mean?" To which I reply: "Its a visa." She has this bewildered look on her face, can't find my name on the visa, gives up and says, while looking at my passport: "Where is this THING from anyway?", to which I reply: "Russia." Her response: "I thought I recognized those ACRYLIC letters!"
My name: never found and never checked (not that it matters anyway).
My tax money: wasted
My amusement level: through the roof
Benefit for linguistic science: TSA has discovered new ACRYLIC alphabet!
My name: never found and never checked (not that it matters anyway).
My tax money: wasted
My amusement level: through the roof
Benefit for linguistic science: TSA has discovered new ACRYLIC alphabet!
I'll bet she's one of ORD's top performers.
#4
Original Poster
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: DFW
Programs: OWE AA EXP;*A TK Gold; Marriott LTT; Hyatt Globalist; IHG Plat; National VIP
Posts: 3,087
LOL! Loved the azbuka comment!
Actually Russian passports just have cyrillic alphabet on the cover (but bilingual throughout the passport, English and Russian both), it says, all in acrylic, of course, "Russian Federation" and under the two-headed eagle "Passport." So, basically, she had no chance
Note to potential terrorists: procure Russian passports immediately, apparently that level of secret coding really throws the TSA off.
Actually Russian passports just have cyrillic alphabet on the cover (but bilingual throughout the passport, English and Russian both), it says, all in acrylic, of course, "Russian Federation" and under the two-headed eagle "Passport." So, basically, she had no chance
Note to potential terrorists: procure Russian passports immediately, apparently that level of secret coding really throws the TSA off.
#5
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: LAX/TPE
Programs: United 1K, JAL Sapphire, SPG Lifetime Platinum, National Executive Elite, Hertz PC, Avis PC
Posts: 42,008
You need to give the screener at least one point for trying It could have been worse - they might have said "this is a Klingon passport! I saw this writing on TV!"
#6
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Department of Homeland Sincerity
Programs: WN Platinum
Posts: 12,085
She's not the sharpest tool in the kit, but probably above average when compared to most TSA agents, and way smarter than TSA management.
Thanks for the laugh.
Thanks for the laugh.
#8
Original Poster
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: DFW
Programs: OWE AA EXP;*A TK Gold; Marriott LTT; Hyatt Globalist; IHG Plat; National VIP
Posts: 3,087
Past Saturday, same TSA ID checkpoint in ORD, different idiot (TSA agent).
While looking at the same passport I mentioned in the OP (I now make it a habit to use it at that very check point), he decided that his shiny new blacklight he uses to look at driver's licenses with would be very useful at determining if my passport was fake. He shined at it for some time, from different angles, and let me through. I am curious, what exactly was he expecting to find, and how much of a training those morons get to recognize what kind of holograms or watermarks foreign passports contain? Answer is obvious: none. Circus at its best.
While looking at the same passport I mentioned in the OP (I now make it a habit to use it at that very check point), he decided that his shiny new blacklight he uses to look at driver's licenses with would be very useful at determining if my passport was fake. He shined at it for some time, from different angles, and let me through. I am curious, what exactly was he expecting to find, and how much of a training those morons get to recognize what kind of holograms or watermarks foreign passports contain? Answer is obvious: none. Circus at its best.
#13
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Biloxi, MS (GPT)
Programs: AA Gold, DL FO, HH Diamond
Posts: 1,278
So, can I throw my shoe at the next TSA'er who annoys me, much as I almost did at my TV the other night? ( but also )
Last edited by drat19; Jan 30, 2008 at 1:00 pm
#15
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Chicago
Posts: 11,509