Men's room predators approached my son in CLE 7/21/07

Old Jul 21, 07, 10:28 pm
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Yours sounds like an odd situation. Your kid may or may not be on the right track.

On the general topic of child predators, if one ever approaches one of my daughters I'm going to jail.
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Old Jul 21, 07, 10:30 pm
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Originally Posted by Mikey likes it View Post
Yours sounds like an odd situation. Your kid may or may not be on the right track.

On the general topic of child predators, if one ever approaches one of my daughters I'm going to jail.
The ambiguity of the situation in this thread shows why you might pause before putting justice into your own hands and sending yourself to jail.
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Old Jul 21, 07, 11:07 pm
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Originally Posted by dhuey View Post
The ambiguity of the situation in this thread shows why you might pause before putting justice into your own hands and sending yourself to jail.
Agree. It would have to be an unambiguous approach.
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Old Jul 22, 07, 2:29 am
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At the very least the two men behaved very inappropriately towards a child in a public rest room. They might learn from that.
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Old Jul 22, 07, 11:11 am
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I can't recommend highly enough Gavin DeBecker's "Protecting the Gift" as a resource on how to prepare your children to protect themselves.

In this case, it sounds to me that these immature men saw this child "behaving weirdly" <as dad says he does sometimes> <as mom overheard the men say also> and they made a cruel inappropriate joke about the handicapped stall.

My son will be 10 next week and if he and I were traveling alone, I would have no problem bringing him into the ladies room with me; I also don't think many other women would have a problem with it. My child might die of embarrassment, though. And I wouldn't bring both my boys in the ladies room if we were all traveling together-- cause then they'd get all silly and loud, etc.
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Old Jul 22, 07, 11:20 am
  #21  
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Originally Posted by Markie View Post
At the very least the two men behaved very inappropriately towards a child in a public rest room. They might learn from that.
I hope these two learn that we as a society have gone from pretending that sexual predations on children don't happen, to the fear that they're happening all the time, everywhere. So if they were joking about this in a men's room with a 10-year-old, they have a very dangerous sense of humor.

The reality of sex abuse of children is that the vast majority of cases are people (and let's face it: men) in a position of trust. Last I looked up the number in the FBI data, there were about 100 child abduction cases/yr. nationwide involving strangers.

I'll never forget one abduction tragedy where a kid was abducted playing out in her front lawn. The devestated mother pleaded into the camera, "parents, don't ever let your children play outside if you're not watching them." I worry that a lot of parents took her up on this advice.
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Old Jul 22, 07, 11:29 am
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That is my take on it too.


Originally Posted by spleenstomper View Post
In this case, it sounds to me that these immature men saw this child "behaving weirdly" <as dad says he does sometimes> <as mom overheard the men say also> and they made a cruel inappropriate joke about the handicapped stall.
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Old Jul 22, 07, 11:46 am
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Actually, acting weird and making animal noises is probably a pretty good deflection strategy. If you look like you'll be a handful to deal with, troublemakers will let you alone. (I am reminded of Steve Martin's dictum: if you are alone on a street at night and someone comes up to rob you, throw up on your money.)

For two youngish "thugs" to be working in concert to trap a strange child for sex is way, way off the profile. Sex predators tend not to have peers as friends at all, let alone go trolling with them. I suspect your son misinterpreted an odd, inappropriate remark as a threat, and your wife in turn misinterpreted your son's account as evidence of a sexual approach.
Originally Posted by dhuey View Post
I hope these two learn that we as a society have gone from pretending that sexual predations on children don't happen, to the fear that they're happening all the time, everywhere.
Thanks to the mass media and Dateline NBC we have come to believe that sex criminals preying on children they don't know is a very widespread phenomenon. It is not; statistically we should be more worried about our kids getting stung to death by bees.
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Old Jul 22, 07, 11:52 am
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That's right. We're teaching our kids about "the boogie man" and "stranger danger" when in reality they need to be wary of dad's strange cousin or the odd/single/male neighbor down the street who lets pre-teenage boys smoke on his porch, and by the way he has a cool video game collection (as I heard someone once describe and should she be worried that her kid is always down there???!!!)...
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Old Jul 22, 07, 11:55 am
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Originally Posted by BearX220 View Post
...It is not; statistically we should be more worried about our kids getting stung to death by bees.
What I have been teaching my girls since they were old enough to understand it is that the biggest threat to their safety is cars (of course I include trucks, buses, etc. in that). When they walk along a sidewalk or in a parking lot, they are constantly watching for cars turning and backing up. When crossing a street, they look in every direction, the whole time they're crossing.

Only recently have I discussed the idea of a malicious stranger (they're 10 and 7). It scared the daylights out of them. I reassured them that it's like our talks about a fire in the house or a major earthquake. I don't think it's going to happen to them while they're kids (although the major earthquake almost certainly will happen if they live a full life here). That made them feel better, and not paranoid that every male stranger they meet is out to harm them.
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Old Jul 22, 07, 1:40 pm
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Originally Posted by toomanybooks
...acting like a Jedi or something.

...............

He said that he read their minds and could tell that they wanted to trap him and rob him so he looked at the guys with an angry face and shook his head no.
Learned much, he has.
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Old Jul 23, 07, 10:36 am
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Just a thought..."candy" = code for drugs?

Originally Posted by spleenstomper View Post
My son will be 10 next week and if he and I were traveling alone, I would have no problem bringing him into the ladies room with me; I also don't think many other women would have a problem with it. My child might die of embarrassment, though. And I wouldn't bring both my boys in the ladies room if we were all traveling together-- cause then they'd get all silly and loud, etc.
We were at the mall a couple of weeks ago when BabyJ decided to release not only the 3 bottles' worth of water and juice but also whatever he had in reserves So we head over to the bathrooms at the same time as this mom and her two little kids (boy 6, girl 4). MrsJ goes into the family room area (which has two changing areas and a separate toilet room) while I wait outside with the stroller.

The mom also waits in the hall area leading to the bathrooms with the little girl whilst the boy did his thing. He comes out and being a mom she asks if he washed his hands. A mall employee behind them told her yes, the boy did because he had to boost him up to the sink. She thanked the guy and reminded her son to do the same. So then they head to the ladies room because mom and daughter both had to go. The boy planted himself on the wall about 5' from me and said he would wait there. But no, mom wasn't having that! She made him go into the ladies room "because I don't want you out here alone" was her reasoning to his whines about going into the <horrific screech that little boys use when talking about the opposite sex>girls room.

So then I was thinking that was the silliest thing I'd seen...they wait for him to pee but then she drags him into the ladies room anyway? Why not just have him pee in there?
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