Do you have anything like a weapon?
 

While going through LHR terminal 1 last Wednesday and being addressed by the United pre-check in "security" oiks that stand there with a laptop and little passport stickers, amongst the oddest questions I got asked was "do you have anything like a weapon?".

Fortunately I managed to bite my tongue and not say anything that would almost guarantee me being not allowed to fly, but there were a whole series of other questions that were just plain weird, and seemed made up? Am I lucky or has anyone else experienced this at LHR recently?

When I get that question I usually like to flex my biceps and say, "you mean besides these?"

I was thinking more below the waistline for my answer but thought much better of it ! :D

Humorous responses (bicep flexing, "in my pants," bad breath) or serious ones (fists, belt, bank cards, large plastic bag, a heavy laptop, etc) - it's a stupid question. But then so are the rest of those types of questions.

I would not have been able to keep a straight face as I could use any object with the right application of force could be used to inflict injuries. TSA sees a mini leatherman as a threat, but surgically sharp fiskar scissors and trauma shears arent.....right!

I often take out my pen and ask "like this?"

Just point to your noggin and ask, 'You mean this?'

Our brains are our most dangerous weapons; most TSA rent-a-weiners are terrified of fully functional gray matter.

You should ask for a detailed explanation of what they would consider a weapon is.

I know I'm not alone when I say that I have had clerks, just before initiating a bag search, ask me something like, "Is there anything in your bag that might hurt me?" I have always responded: "You know? Your safety was the last thing I thought about when I packed my bag this morning."

I have been asked that several times, both at LHR and at MUC check in to the US (on an American carrier)

One does have to wonder if it is the security firm or the US government/TSA which is responsible for the actual inane questions.

The one which boggles my mind is at MUC for US operated, US bound flights - 'what did you purchase at the airport today?' MUC is a shopping paradise with an entire mall on the way from the S-bahn station to the check in area, including two grocery stores and a drug store. I often do my regular shopping there!

I begin reciting a long list of items that could be used as a weapon, such as pens, books, power cords, shoes, etc., etc. I keep going until they stop me, and then I try to teach them how stupid the question is. Usually, they agree but say that they have to ask. Nobody takes it seriously.

Bruce

"No" is the answer given but it is routinely not the correct answer because there are quite routinely dual-use items.

I Can Not Answer That!
 

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IF asked that question my response is:
"Only You can determine that because I do not know your def.of WEAPON".
I have already said that to serveral HP officers when stopped for traffic.:mad:

I guess I'd respond with, "Do you mean something like this?..."



http://fedupflyers.org/wp-content/up...Axe-Monkey.jpg

Tough question to answer in a way to thumb your nose at them and their friends at TSA, but not get arrested. Best I can come up with:

"Yes. 101 ml of water in one container." :p