Tantric TSA: The art of foreplay

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Old Sep 3, 10, 3:40 pm
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Tantric TSA: The art of foreplay

It had been a long summer with lots of sunburn, so I wanted to avoid radiation from the scanner, I told the TSA screener I will call Matt

Twenty-something, a few years older than me, I imagined him working this job for the health benefits or to support his young family. He seemed kinda nervous, it must be his first day on the job.

He guided me through security telling colleagues "this one's an opt out -- do you want your patdown in private?" In a rush and thinking it was like the old 30-second patdowns I told him it's OK to do it here. "Do you have any injuries?" he asked. I was made to take off my belt and run my wallet, pen, and tissue through the X-ray scanner.

He stood behind me and placed his arms around my neck, surprising me with how strong and firm his grip was -- it felt like someone choking me from behind. He squeezed the area around my collar, his neoprene blue gloved hands tickling my ears. And he kneaded around my shoulders, pressing with his fingertips into my muscle, as if he were tenderizing a piece of meat. With my arms held out straight he grasped both his hands around each one and pulled all the way down to my wrist.

With the palms of his hands he stroked down my back to my belt, rounding the curve of my rump, with the tips of his fingers slicing into the cleft of my cheeks, pulling them apart with a gentle tug. He continued down the back of my thighs, his fingertips like a paintbrush running down my legs.

"That kinda tickles," I said laughing nervously. By now a crowd of people was standing around us watching him run his fingers over every inch of my body. A lady pointed at me and said "what did he do?" to her friend.

When he was done with my backside he moved to the front, again painting stripes down my chest with his palms and fingertips, running down from my shoulder, to the curve of my pecs, down my abs to my waist line. Moving methodically from left to right, never missing an inch.

In high school and college track my co-athletes and I would pinch a bicep in jest, squeeze a shoulder blade, snap a wet towel against bare skin, but I had never been touched by a man like this before. This felt like my girlfriend, on our third or fourth date running her hands over my chest, my arm around her in a darkened movie theatre.

Now Matt was kneeling down in front of my crotch, lifting up my T-shirt, studying my belt loops, carefully feeling each one. A crowd of 20-30 people was now watching us, and in that sliver between my shirt and pants they could see the tufts of hair that cascade down my belly, the treasure trail as my ex-girlfriend called it.

While I don't think of myself as gay -- I've heard we all have a bit of that inside of us -- I couldn't help but having a reaction to all this, blushing. "Some people pay a lot of money for this," I joked as now a growing crowd was staring at me and Matt wondering why we were holding up the security line.

Matt had me lift up my feet, patted down my soles, and felt the space between each toe. Still kneeling, his face less than a foot from my crotch he advised me he would pass the back of his hands over my crotch, under my testicles, and in the fold between my legs. I felt him cup my testicles and run his fingers from my anus down the back of my balls. By now I was turning red.

Wait here he said while a colleague handed him a wand with a piece of fabric. He rubbed his gloves all over the cloth which went into some kind of sensor. "For explosives," he said. I was free to go. I wondered what government official in what dark alley dreamed up this groping to protect the public?

Last edited by Tyler1988; Sep 4, 10 at 1:03 pm
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Old Sep 3, 10, 3:45 pm
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Whether you are or not, it's a great first post! Welcome to FlyerTalk.
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Old Sep 3, 10, 4:10 pm
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that is awesome!!! Welcome!
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Old Sep 3, 10, 4:10 pm
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You missed the opportunity to say, in a voice loud enough for everybody to hear: "LET GO OF MY BALLS, YOU PERVERT!"
That would have been priceless, what with all the onlookers.

Make sure you file a comment card or go online to complain.
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Old Sep 3, 10, 4:13 pm
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We've heard reports of phrenological examinations of people's face and skull, so it sounds like you missed out on that one.
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Old Sep 3, 10, 4:24 pm
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I suppose when the TSO's get a smoke or coffee break and are comparing stories, your guy will bring you up.
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Old Sep 3, 10, 5:12 pm
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While his writing style is very good, we can't for a nanosecond overlook the pointless intrusiveness of what he went through by an employee of the US government simply to fly on a plane somewhere. Why do we put up with this garbage??? No, the nude-o-scope is not an option.

Just to put this in context, I'm wondering if someone could compare this detailed description of a TSA groping with the scope of a frisking police do following an arrest or when one visits a prison (not an inmate).

A lady pointed at me and said "what did he do?" to her friend.
Guess what, lady & friend, it can happen to you the next time you fly -- and it will -- unless you'd rather be bombarded with radiation so an anonymous employee of the US government, whom you will never confront and look in the eye, can view your essentially naked body for as long as he or she wants to.
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Old Sep 4, 10, 12:57 am
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"Dear 'Penthouse Forum' - I've never been attracted to a TSA agent before, but this experience may have changed my mind..."
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Old Sep 4, 10, 1:09 am
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I was thinking about this on the way to the airport today. If a TSO conducts THAT intrusive an examination of my privates, I'm going to call for a LEO. As far as I'm concerned, that is sexual assault under California law. It is also non-consensual. TSO policy does not preempt state law.

We'll see what happens.
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Old Sep 4, 10, 1:39 am
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Originally Posted by PTravel View Post
If a TSO conducts THAT intrusive an examination of my privates, I'm going to call for a LEO. As far as I'm concerned, that is sexual assault under California law.
Correct me if I'm wrong, and I'm too tired at the moment to do the research, but given the screener's ostensibly nonsexual intent (and, yes, I am ignoring the OP's post when I say that ), wouldn't it be a misdemeanor offense under California law, rather than a felony? Meaning a LEO can't make an arrest unless he actually sees it happen.

So your requests to opt out and for a LEO should probably be concurrent.
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Old Sep 4, 10, 1:42 am
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Originally Posted by nhcowboy View Post
Correct me if I'm wrong, and I'm too tired at the moment to do the research, but given the screener's ostensibly nonsexual intent (and, yes, I am ignoring the OP's post when I say that ), wouldn't it be a misdemeanor offense under California law, rather than a felony? Meaning a LEO can't make an arrest unless he actually sees it happen.
I'll have to research that. Regardless, I don't think the screener's intent at the moment necessarily matters in terms of the arrest.

I've also been thinking about all those TSOs operating x-rays machines to scan human beings without state x-ray technician certifications.

So your requests to opt out and for a LEO should probably be concurrent.
You may be right. I'm not yet planning to discontinue flying so, if it doesn't work out the first time, I'm sure there'll be a second.
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Old Sep 4, 10, 2:52 am
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A+, sir.
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Old Sep 4, 10, 4:32 am
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welcome to flyertalk Tyler1988 and a great first post
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Old Sep 4, 10, 4:45 am
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Originally Posted by N965VJ View Post
We've heard reports of phrenological examinations of people's face and skull, so it sounds like you missed out on that one.
As soon as he started to strangle me, I would have removed his hands and asked him what he thought he was doing

Originally Posted by PTravel View Post
I was thinking about this on the way to the airport today. If a TSO conducts THAT intrusive an examination of my privates, I'm going to call for a LEO. As far as I'm concerned, that is sexual assault under California law. It is also non-consensual. TSO policy does not preempt state law.

We'll see what happens.
There is no way a airport LEO is going to side with you against his TSO mates. These guys know each other, talk in their breaks and lunch together.

Last edited by Kiwi Flyer; Sep 4, 10 at 9:47 pm Reason: merge consecutive posts
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Old Sep 4, 10, 6:23 am
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Originally Posted by oldjonesy View Post
There is no way a airport LEO is going to side with you against his TSO mates. These guys know each other, talk in their breaks and lunch together.
I guess it depends on which airport and which LEO. The several airport LEO's I know have quite a bit to say about TSO's, none of it complimentary.


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