Funny
 

I know its not relevant to miles and flights, and I am sure I have the numbers wrong but a flight attendant I had a few days ago had a great line upon landing.

"On behalf of the 50,000...45,000...oops, now 40,000 employees, we appreciate you flying Northwest....."

http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/biggrin.gif

I'm sure all the people that have lost their job think it's funny too.

sad but true.

One of my favorites was just before landing "Badda Boom, Badda Bing, Theres the Double Ring, Get In Your Seats and Grab Your Things...".

Another (Not on the PA, only heard by those in the vicinity) was shortly before landing on the last flight before retirement of a 747 captain while being vectored for landing "..Looks Like The Old Boy Wants To Take A Victory Lap Or Two..." http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif. I was glad there was no water cannon salute as the ice drops would have hurt http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif.

Not as extreme as the SW standup comedy routines ;(, however bit more light hearted than most http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif.

GS

Humor must run within the NW ranks. My favorite from a few months back was the FA doing the safety demo, who when discussing the oxygen masks, said:

"...the compartment over your head will open. Stop screaming...reach up and grab a mask and place it over your nose and mouth"...

Not everyone on-board caught the humor, but I thought it was cute.

What ever happend to the DC9 pilot who would play the harmonica as part of his PA? Is he still flying or did the TSA confiscate his harp?

On CO earlier this month, the automated safety demo featured the CEO of CO saying "we have the most advanced fleet... with features like this state of the art video system." The problem was that the video feed was broken so we could hear him but not see him http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

Haven't seen you post in awhile!

I agree 100%.

[This message has been edited by IndustrialPatent (edited 02-28-2003).]

Several years ago, an FA, while taking the time to explain how the emergency exit worked, made me promise to be sure she was with me as I left the plane. I think that was humor!
tom

When briefing the exit rows I like to ask people what they would do with the window exit once they take it out. Of course, the correct answer is, "Take it with you as a souvenir!"

Guess What!

I was reading "Funny" in the LAX Worldclub immediately prior to my LAX/MEM flight yesterday (2/25)and then I packed up my laptop and rushed to the gate.

The Pilot made a pre-flight announcement that included a few bars from a harp!

Seeing that this was a A320 (not a DC9) I asked the FA if this pilot had recently traded up from a DC9 to a A320.

The FA mentioned my question to the pilot later on during the flight and it was the same guy.

Amazing, what a small world we live in.

RC

A harp accompained PA is something you dont hear all the time, good to hear he is still flying.

One evening in January, flying from DTW to MSN on a plane that was 3/4 empty, the pilot came on just before the door closed and announced, "I have an unusual favor to ask of you. If you're sitting in a row where the window seat is unoccupied please move to the window seat. That way the competition will think we have more passengers than we really do."

It's amazing how a little humor brightens up everyone's mood!

I gave the pilot the link to this thread.

He read your post from the cache on my Treo 300 PDA and seemed very impressed that you remembered him from the DC9 days.

RC

That is a good one.

Some of my favorites:

"In the event of an emergency, this plane can make a water landing, but only once..."

"If the person seated next to you is a child, or just acts like one..."

-cwk.

It's easy to remember a harp player when you are one your self (or trying to be). Its intersting in foriegn countries when they see a harp and not sure what it is.

Another good line I heard was along the lines of:

"Please open the bins carefully as things probally shifted after the landing you just encountred..."

BTW - If you get to keep the exit window/door if you have to open it, does it work well on a sknow hill as a sled on on the water as an alternaitve to a wake board/tube http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif .

Heard on TWA, but along the same lines:
"After you have secured your own [oxygen mask], help small children or those who didn't pay attention during the safety demo."

You wouldn't if it actually happened to you. One of my genuine pet peeves is FAs making a mockery of the safety demo. I was on NW SEA-MEM this week and the FA found the safety demo such a laugh riot she had to repeatedly turn off the mike to compose herself, while the others standing in the aisles rolled their eyes and chuckled.

This is a way of telling the passengers you don't really have to take this stuff seriously, because WE don't... this is a terrible message, considering that the majority of air crashes are survivable. It is especially hard when I am flying with my eight-year-old son, trying to teach him to be a good passenger, find the emergency exits, take safety seriously, and then the FAs cut up all during the briefing.

Agree it's a serious matter, however, were you able to do the demo ad lib for your son during distraction like good experineced travelers should http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif .

I have been on a few flights where most of the front cabin breaks into the routine doing the hand motion in conjunction with the FA's. Sure it's a serious message, however, it shows that if someone can do it in unison, there just might be some cognative redeaming value.

Let's see,

Reach up, grab and cover for yourself first, then those nearby. Float under the seat, buckle up at all times (something that still amazes me those that dont http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/frown.gif ), exits two in front (follow with the hand movements http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif ), two over the wing (e.g. 319), two in rear, the one in front or rear maybe closer so you decide however note the floor marked lights should work however may not. Leave personal items behind (you in 21B, leave that roller board where it is), dont smoke in the lavatories as its a fed offense and you will get a complimentry night stay in a facility that makes a super 8 look luxrious. If we are going over the water, then there's some more things about the life rafts etc. and be sure to use that little envolope in front of you if the food we give you makes you ill. There is an info placard in the seat infront of you if you need to more know about this xxx ac.

I know I missed some things comes I dont always pay attention to the whole thing however this is only a bit of humor on a very serious topic. Keeping a balanced and relaxed head in the midst of situations is also cited as a major saving force (well, maybe not laughing) http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif.

So brush up on those skills if you are rusty and if you have not yet pulled that seat belt extra tight, or grabbed your ankles on a landing hope you dont have to http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif .

BTW - Did you son enjoy the rest of the flight I hope?

Some years back on Midwest Express flight the lead flight attendant SANG the safety announcement. It was really interesting - everybody paid attention! She sang the words exactly as though she were reading them and the words were quite clear and understandable.

I suspect the most important thing about a safety announcement is getting people to listen and pay attention.

On Southwest flight, FA was discussing using seat cushion as flotation device, said once in the water, "kick, paddle, kick, paddle, until you get to dry land".

On NW flight from Memphis to Little Rock, FA said that in event of a water landing, we are probably way off course, as no large bodies of water between here and there.

Also on NW, FA said pilots girlfriend has just broken up with him, so he was wondering if anyone would mind if we buzzed her house on the way out.

Lastly on NW, as plane landed, as we were going to the gate, the FA said she could hear seat belts being undone before reaching the gate, so we would have to keep taking off and re-landing until we could learn to follow directions.

[This message has been edited by volrichard (edited 02-28-2003).]

Heard on USAirways from a FA that looked like Jesse Ventura,

There will be no eating, drinking or sleeping for those in emergency exit row seats.


Jay