Guess future cutbacks here!
 

What will air travel in the USA be like ten years from now?

Hmmm....so far, we no longer have real butter knives, no movies or artificial sweetener on NW, no meals on UA if the flight is less than two-thirds the length of the US, screw-off caps on wine, some airlines want to eliminate all carry-ons....the list goes on and on.

At the current rate of cheapness, what will we end up with down the road? Sarcastic and/or creative answers welcomed!

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Addicted to airline miles? Check out: Mileage Workshop

[This message has been edited by MileageAddict (edited 10-19-2001).]

Let's see.....

- Today's economy will become "first class", with today's first & business classes ultra first class (read, if you have to ask how many dollars or miles to upgrade or get, you can't afford it).
- Cheapest seats will be like those on military planes--no window, facing away from the side, crammed, facing another pax only 2 or 3 feet away.
- On those trancons, to save time and money, as the plane pass over cities, those paxs going there can parachute down there, with baggage delivered separately (parachuted separately--you find it when you get down there).

http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

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UA PremExec (2001)
mailto:[email protected][email protected]</A>

-Airport lounges will be open air, located in the terminal parking lots, far from the curbs. Snacks and drinks will be provided by VillageIdiot and his franchised empire of hot dog carts.

-FAs will be non-paid and elected amongst all pax on each departing flights (pax will be granted additional votes based upon status).

-As planes become more and more sophisticated, above measure will be implemented for pilots as well.

-Miles will still be awarded, but only on flight segments above 2800 miles.

All carriers, in a cost-cutting move will merge together and rename the new company:

GreyhoundAir

Carry on limited to one piece, no bigger then a lap-top. Maximum limit of baggage, 1 piece no greater then 15 pounds, or you pay extra.

- Passengers will have to bring their own pillows, blankets, headset, sweetener, paper napkins, plastic cups, plates and utensils. Also bring your own roll of toilet paper.
- For coffee drinker, supply your own ground coffee, airline will only supply hot water.
- Last passenger on board will automatically be selected to scrub the lavatory.

Based on the baggage responses posted above, might it be a good time to buy stock in Federal Express? http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

Many years ago (mid-80's), Alaska Airlines ran a bunch of commercials expressing their full service flights versus the competitor.

One commercial shows a fella heading back to the lavatory only to see it requires 50c to enter. The remainder of the commercial has him going around the plane (cross legged of course) asking people if they can break a $10 bill for him. At first he simply asks to break the ten, by the end of the commercial, he's willing to accept 50c for the $10 bill. It was quite hilarious. Sadly, it could be an accurate picture of the future now!

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Addicted to airline miles? Check out: Mileage Workshop

Simply ridding themselves of all the pax should eliminate all the problems! http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif

All of a sudden I'm recalling the "FedEx People Pak" thread started around April Fool's Day...

Hey, never in our wildest dreams did we think we'd see flights without sugar/creamer, either, did we?

Special "Second class" area:

In the overhead compartment, or underneath the seat in front of you.

I can see the day where PAX are forced to stand on the little baggage scale when checking in, and pay a "fuel consumption surcharge" per pound.

I can see the list of various undisclosed surcharges growing- see hotel chains.

"Toilet paper surchage- $.50 per sheet. Water charge, per flush, and per second of flow from sink, say .20 per ounce." This can be taken care of by simply swiping your credit card at the door. This can also pay for the $.50 per minute charge for lavatory occupancy for those that go in there and don't use the faciltities- you know- to change their baby, do a few lines, or get to know fellow passenger or crew members just a little better."

I also think that free drinks of any sort will be a thing of the past. OJ- $3. Coke $3. Plus, the $3 delivery charge. Plus the $25% gratuity. Plus the "tip line". Nuts and pretzels will be only $1.50 a bag. Plus, of course, the appropriate charges.

All of these changes will of course be referred to as "enhancements."

And, of course, there changes will be referred to as "enhacements".

Finally, I see the Administration proposing a "Federal Aviation Saving Act of 2002." Because all dissenters in the new America are summarily dismissed as "traitors" in defense of "liberty", this bill passes the House and Senate 430-2, and 98-1 respectively. This bill will simply provide an antitrust exemption for the airlines. Soon, a virtual monopoly of over certain routes will become an actual monopoly. If you want to fly LAX-SFO- UAL's your choice. MSP-DEN, you go NWA, my friend. And fares-they go way up - for the good of America.

And you, the consumer- you go to .....

After they federalize all the security screeners, then figure out the cost has tripled (not just because of pay, but all the new rules), then the airlines start folding due to increased expense and because travel is a hassle, etc. etc.

We will then have one airline run by the Federal Gov't. Free enterprise is gone. No frills. It is coming. Watch and see.

http://www.brknews.com/news/fedex.html

My favorite paragraph from the above-mentioned website:
Basic service will offer only the pouch and guaranteed next-day delivery;

Extra® will include a pack of peanuts and heating controls in the envelope for added comfort; and Max® — the
First Class will feature a myriad of in-pouch storage pockets for travelers' personal effects, a battery-powered reading light, a Lunchable® snack treat (including juice box), and an ultra-compact Porta-Pottie.



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Addicted to airline miles? Check out: Mileage Workshop

...

[This message has been edited by MileageAddict (edited 10-20-2001).]

&lt;BLOCKQUOTE&gt;

After they federalize all the security screeners, then figure out the cost has tripled (not just because of pay, but all the new rules), then the airlines start folding due to increased expense and because travel is a hassle, etc. etc.

We will then have one airline run by the Federal Gov't. Free enterprise is gone. No frills. It is coming. Watch and see.

&lt;/BLOCKQUOTE&gt;

News flash - the airline industry is not, and has not been for decades, a "free enterprise" system.

Prices in the airline industry are dominated by three realities:

1. The US government has a major interest in having the best aerospace technology available, therefore they subsidise the building of planes, because those same companies build military equipment.

2. Most nations know they need an airline as a means of attracting business, hence, planes are over priced because many of the players are loss leaders for a national economy.

3. The US government has, for some time, recognised the importance of having internal air transport capacity - as relevant federal laws allowing the US to commandeer aircraft for military necessity, force the resolution of labor disputes and so on show.

As for government doing law enforcement - good heavans! What will they think of next! Government providing military defense? It would be the end of the world!

And we're going to hire the brain trusts that have managed Iberia, Sabena, and Olympic to run them. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

For every Eastern or TWA that fails, there will be:

- Ten startups that try to enter the market and either have miserable demises of their own (Legend, Midways I/II, ProAir, etc.) or hang on by their fingernails (Vanguard)
- One startup that makes it (Midwest Express, probably JetBlue)

Net effect is that there will always be airlines competing. What might change with increased prices is mode choice - do I fly ORD-DTW or drive or take Amtrak?

Delta will install tiny windowlets in cargo and add seats. All LUser fare pax will now sit below deck. Upgrades to main cabin will be available using 800MSU's

TW

Fabulous free food will be re-introduced and served on repeatedly recycled paper plates. It will be surplus selections (no choice) of MRE's in F/C and K rations in coach will be offered. All passenger seat belts will lock upon pushback and will not unlock until aircraft door is opened at the destination gate. No powders, liquids, aerosols, or other consumables will be allowed on board.

Free especially-made-for-in-air-watching 5 star patriotic Hollywood movies will be shown on a pull down screen located in the exact rear of the aircraft. It will be broadcast in 3 similtanous languages over the PA system. It is assumed anyone who watches the movie will quickly get a really painful stiff neck and thus could not cause any trouble. Those who dont watch it will be immediately handcuffed by the FA's so they dont cause any trouble either. The Sky Marshals will then identify themselves and handcuff the FA's and eat their choice of any remaining MRE's. They will soon become too fat to fit through the cockpit door so they could not ever hijack an airplane.

Did I forget anybody?

MisterNice

Food for thought...

Desperate catering employees wishing to keep their jobs will sell salads and sandwiches to passengers from mobile cart going from gate to gate.

For those who didn't get a chance to pick up a sandwich, vending machines will be located at the rear of the airplane. Sorry, 25 cent per dollar transaction fee to break a bill. ATM with $5 surcharge will be available.

Sleep on this......

Seats will be removed and a new row of overhead compartments installed to provide 180 degree recline seat(although that is the only recline!) I get top bunk! http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif

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"Fly me to the moon and let me earn alot of miles."

1. Airline execs buy next-generation autopilot systems and fire all co-pilots.
Six months later, a bright Operations guy thinks again about Bush's plan for remote-controlling flights from FAA towers ... after fine-tuning that technology, he invents the "CompuCockpit" and airlines fire the rest of the pilots.

2. Airline execs conclude .... "No meals? No FAs!" and fire their entire cabin crews.

In place, they hire 2,000 scowling buzzcut Stone Cold Steve Austin lookalikes .... who serve double roles as FAs and SkyMarshals.

This only becomes a problem on the 4-hour-plus flights, where the frowning guard s must dish out meals in F ...
"SIT THE HELL DOWN, I said!! Get up again and I'll HANDCUFF YOU!!!
OK, that's better. Now, about dinner, sir, we have pasta or fish. Would you like grated cheese with that? And would you care for some wine?"

Some amusing posts. Noticed several referring to bathrooms/lavatories. Get real. There won't be any bathrooms! Didn't you go before you left? If I have to pull over...Oh wait relapse to childhood. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif Seats! What seats! The gov't has to get the mail delivered. Any room for pax after mail has been loaded go based on first come first served. Take a number please.

10 years from now there will be one airline. United States of America Gov't Airline. No frequent flyer miles. Flights from 9am to 5pm local time with flights on Saturdays from 9am to 12pm local time. No flights on Sunday. You can pay priorty fares to get there within 2-3 days. Guaranteed!

[This message has been edited by toadman (edited 10-22-2001).]

Airlines will return to their core business, transporting cargo from A to B. All passenger planes will be converted for carrying cargo.

There will be special containers for shipping passengers. Large economy class containers padded with foam inside, with pax standing (padded with additional foam if not full). Business class containers with seats (30" pitch). First class containers with seats (32"), lavs and a soft drink machine. The baggage travels in the same container. No rude flight attendants, lost baggage and no need for carryons.

The world will be divided into 20 zones, the base fare will be determined by the departure and the destination zone. Multiply the base fare by the combined weight of the pax and the baggage (200 pounds minimum). Add $20 for Saturday delivery. An additional $10/hour breathing air charge applies for every animal or passenger transported. Passenger transports pay an extra 30% anti-terrorism tax.

There will be no airports, gates, transfers, stopovers or missed connections. Pax will enter the container at a drop-off point, or picked up at home by a truck for an additional $30. At the end of the journey, the container will be put on a truck and every passenger will be delivered directly to his destination address. No problems with finding your way in unknown cities or criminal cab drivers.

Corporate accounts will allow a third party to pay for the delivery at the point of destination. There will be no FF miles and no cheap return fares, but a full refund if the delivery does not arrive at 10am the following day.

This will result in over 99% on-time deliveries, real-time flight tracking over the Internet and almost no complaints about the service.

In 20 years, the war against the world terrorism is finally won. Meanwhile, the competition between cargo carries cuts the delivery times by over 70%. Airplanes are only used over oceans, with containers being transported in maglev tubes across continents. The competition between passenger container suppliers results in luxuries unseen even in the old days of passenger planes. Virtual reality helmets in Economy and personal whirlpools in First become standard everywhere. Major hotel chains start converting their rooms into racks capable of accepting First and Business class airline containers.

May not bad after all http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

In order to minimize operating costs, all airlines ground their fleets permanently and replace them with teleporters. All classes of travel are compressed into one, all inflight services are ended, and airline food becomes whatever is stuck between your teeth upon departure.

Though there would be no distinction during "flight", first class amenity kits wouls still be passed out before departure.

With all the cost cutting going around, it would contain only one item.

A Toothbrush

You could still boast about the SWU's and seemingly unlimited upgrades you have by showing off your teeth after "flight". http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

[This message has been edited by Bourne (edited 10-24-2001).]

Been there... done that http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/wink.gif It didn't fly in Canada some 5 years ago...... no pun intended. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

See http://www.edmontonairports.com/press/1996/grylnch.htm

UPS has done passenger flights since 1997-- they fill some planes with seats for weekend charters.

http://louisville.bcentral.com/louis...5/daily30.html

[This message has been edited by Viajero Joven (edited 10-24-2001).]