OMNI: Airline (sort of) humor
 

This one's for blondebomber!

A beautiful, well-dressed blonde seats herself in the first class
cabin on a cross-country flight, and settles herself in for the trip, smiling prettily at admiring passengers seated around her. Underway, a flight attendant soon approaches the blonde and says, "Miss, I`m sorry, but I see that your ticket is for coach, and you`re seated in first class; I`m afraid you`ll have to move." The blonde replies, "I`m blonde, and I`m beautiful, and I`m going to New York to be a model."

Slightly incredulous, the attendant alerts the senior flight attendant. The senior attendant approaches the blonde and says,
politely, "I`m sorry, Miss, but since your ticket is for coach, you`ll have to move back." The blonde replies, sweetly, "I`m blonde, and I`m beautiful, and I`m going to New York to be a model"-and shows no signs
of moving.

Frustrated, the senior attendant informs the captain, and he says he`ll deal with the problem. He turns over flight control, walks to the rear, and observes the blonde seated comfortably in first class.

Approaching her with a smile, the captain leans over and speaks quietly into the blonde`s ear. Almost immediately, the blonde gathers her things, gets up, and moves quickly to the coach compartment.

Amazed, the senior flight attendant asks the captain, "Captain, I`m impressed ... what did you say to her?" he captain grinned slyly and said, "I just told her that the first class cabin doesn`t go to New York."

That is very very funny! It made my day Matt!

And I see hundreds of those wannabe models
around new York. They all work in the perfume sections of Bloomingdales and Macy's and spray me with au du cologue! BLEH! CATMAN

Catman: That happened to me once when we were living in Houston.

When I got home, my cat took one sniff and hissed at me!!

A blonde gets an oppurtunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never
been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense.

As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in
excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting 'BOEING!
BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....'.

She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears
the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts
'BE SILENT!'.

There was pin-drop silence every where and everybody is looking at the
blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a
moment and all of a sudden started shouting, 'OEING ! OEING!! OEING!!!
OE...'.