AIR TRAVEL LAUGHTER - funny incidents
 

Please tell me something that happened to you while flyng/traveling.

Years ago, I flew into JFK ( not my favorite airport ) and said to the immigration guys that they should demolish the arrival facility and rebuild it again. He just cracked up. Then, he called over a few of his colleagues and they also started to laugh,while agreeing with me. Then he said that they just started remodeling that arrival section yesterday and mine was one of the first flights to land in that remodedled section!

Mrs. Law Lord and I had just passed through customs returning to the USA in San Francisco from a visit to Great Britain. We were carrying our bags and our airplane reading matter away from the customs gate when I heard the customs agent's voice calling out to me from behind: "Sir? Excuse me! May I have a word with you?"

Oh, bleep, I thought (I self-censor), she thinks I'm smuggling something. . .

"Sir? If you've finished with it, may I have your London Times?"

Funny and not so funny at the same time...
1993 I was returning to JFL after a year in Switzerland. I was very skinny back then and had been in a car accident the day before so I was black and blue from head to toe. I guess that I did look like a bit of a refugee - add to that a nasty hangover and I was in no mood for US customs at JFK.
Well, with a year's worth of luggage with me, I stick my passport btwn my teeth (teeth only - no lips or tongue touched the precious doc.) for a grand total of about 2 secs. so I wouldn't drop a breakable item. The customs agent saw this an promptly told me that she refused to accept my passport since it owuld give her AIDS and that I would not be allowed in the country and needed to go back to the plane. Well, even after explaining to her that I did not have the disease and even if I did, you cannot get it that way, she refused to beleive me and said I woould not be allowed to enter the US. As a US citizen, I told her I have the right to enter, even if I were to have AIDS. She started screaming at me. I, with my hangover and aching body from the flight and accident, told her to shut up and obey me since I paid her salary with my taxes (never a good thing to say to an agent!). I ended up having to sneak around the baggage carusel into another agent's line. All the while she started yelling at the other agents not to let me in. Thank goodness they ignored her. I then walked into the meeting area where my dad, who I had not seen for a year, gave me a huge bear hug which broke my bra. I had on a little sundress and the bra came flying up and snapped him in the chin. You have never seen a man jump so far back and high so fast. http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif Now that was funny!

------------------
I wish I were 1,000 miles away

I am continually surprised and disgusted at people who, because of both hands having luggage, put their passport/boarding pass/ticket in their mouth and then offer it to someone else to handle.

Extremely bad manners.

------------------
Craig

Where can I get a mouth grip for my luggage? http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/tongue.gif

Craig - it is not a general habit of mine because I agree I generally wouldn't want to handle it myself. It was an emergency reflex to not drop and break a valuable gift item. Also, the customs agent had on latex gloves. But the main point was the ignorance of the agent's reaction.

EPS - thanks http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/smile.gif

------------------
I wish I were 1,000 miles away