Thanks everyone for the advice (minus the relationship advice ). Part of it is that I love to travel, and he thinks of it as an ordeal...so while he will probably not hit 8-10 flights himself, I don't think of relationships as a balancing act where every little act must be offset by the other person doing something equally nice. Also, it is me who is choosing to live in a different city since I had a job offer in NY, I just liked the job in Seattle a lot better. He may move eventually, but I wouldn't want to be with someone whose career wasn't important to them because then they wouldn't understand that my career is important to me.

JFK is a little more convenient than EWR as far as public transportation goes, although LGA would be best in an ideal world. Because of visiting the folks, I think it is probably best to stick with United unless there is a big price difference. Let's say 5 times, DL is $100 cheaper. Then the question becomes is it worth spending $500 dollars more to get that next level on United instead of that first level on Delta. I'll have to think some more about that.

Thanks everyone!