Well I for one am glad this thread is not a big joke!

Tonight I asked the driver of the G class AMG to see how high the revs would go in Neutral while waiting for the LAN plane to cross in front of us. It is now verified it is possible to hear the motor even over the considerable noise of the LAN jet taxiing in a hurry to the runway. Now that is living the maximizing high life.

The golden G class in front of the FCT is now gone - perhaps boosted by a maximiser?

Could be. The black one was still around as of last night (on the apron).

This is one of the funniest threads I have read on FT.

it's also fairly informative about maximising the lounge experience.

With that in mind should I alter my flight from Barcelona and arrive 3 hours earlier? I already have 6.5 hours in the Frankfurt lounges planned.

It really depends on the tips you have learned in reading the thread.

Seriously- 6.5 hours in Frankfurt is more than enough time. You really do not need more than 3 hours to get the maximizer experience at Frankfurt.

With 6.5 hours pop into town and have a walk, grab something good to eat, and then come back and go straight to the First Class terminal. The lounges in FRA (First) are very close to identical, all have the same catering, and even share the same staff.

I have one new point for the maximizer thread:

Ask to print a book from PDF on the new printer for customers in the FCT (I actualy witnessed someone doing this a few weeks ago while I was attempting to print a hotel information card I needed.

Get as many ducks as possible from different staff. Go to the Zen garden/fountain thing, put them all in there. If anyone asks, say its one duck for every time you've been to the FCT (only works with a large number of ducks). If you only got one, claim you release a duck every time you pass by. If you have two or three, claim it's one duck for each segment in F on your trip.

Another FCT goodie......Try to steal the supersized coffee table book thats right in front of you when you walk in (at least it was there a couple of months ago). It probably weighs 50kg.......

Ahh -- good idea! Would make a good coffee table book, and proof one truly flew first class. Noted for next time.

How did we manage to forget this? Borrowing salt and pepper from F permanently.

Unless they no longer have those small white salt and pepper pots in F and serve s&p in small packets as Spiegel Online reported? However borrowing LX F salt and pepper mills is quite another story. :p

I think this suggestion merits a place in the maximizer thread especially post #38.

http://www.flyertalk.com/forum/miles...-cart-fra.html

Going back 3 times for yet another delicious serving of flan in the FCT

Complain about the flies overflying the liquor bottles end of the FCT bar.

At least the flies know a good thing when they see one.

Ask for a "Lufthansa" cocktail. straight or with champagne.....

Okay...

1. Arrive for the flight in your shabbiest shirt, hole ridden jeans, sneakers that are well worn, etc.

2. Do not bath for at least 2 days prior to flying (no deodorant either)

3. Struggle mightily with your obviously overweight and too large nasty looking duffel bag with several issues of pornographic items visible to all PAX.

4. Bang the other well dressed PAX in the head with said duffel bag as you walk around loudly complaining about there not being enough seats.

5. Complain loudly at the bar that there is no Bud Light or Wild Turkey to swill..you have no tolerance for them thar fancy drinks like Kog Nack.

6. After finally getting something to swill at the bar, pull off your foul smelly sneakers to rub your tired smelly feet...in front of all.

7. Make snide (and moderately loud) comments about those who wear the Prada, Armani, or who have the shiny expensive suitcases, etc....

8. Share with all (in a loud voice) your personal problems, your phobias, your hatred of minorities, religion, foreigners, etc etc etc...make sure you offend as many of your future seatmates as you can!!!

9. Be obvious when pilfering all of the food and drinks (into said duffel bag) while loudly telling anyone who will listen that your paid $15,000+ (hard cash from your trust fund) for your ticket.....

10. Take your time boarding..spend time reading your quality magazines, then saunter down the jet way to your seat...once again banging fellow PAX and FA's as you board. Complain immediately when you sit down that the FA is too fat, too thin, too old, too young and that you want that fresh Bud Light again and none of those fancy Gurmen beers....be sure your body odor pervades the FC cabin...it should with so few seats...

11. Constantly badger the female FA's about the Mile High Club and ask if you can join on that very flight!!!

12. Finally, enjoy your flight amidst the glares and looks of disgust from your fellow PAX!!!!

Cheers,