Dinner Party Gift Question
 

I was invited to a dinner party this weekend.

I presume it would be customary that I bring something (or am I off base here?)

I have no idea what so ever to bring as a gift. I do not know these people very well either so I have no idea what they like

Any ideas??

I hope this is the right forum to ask this. My other choice was omni but I wanted this to be directed to the Japanese or at least Japan travel audience

thanks

Re they Japanese? And if so are they in Hiroshima?

If yes to #1, it would be very appropriate to bring something simple like sweets or savory snacks that they could eat later within their family.

If they are Western, I would say the best thing t do is treat it as you would at home. Some folks bring things, others do not.

If in Hiroshima, then anything from Tokyo will be well received. Not merely for the fact that it is from Tokyo per se, but more because you made the effort to share something they would not otherwise get. At the GHT the sweet shop has some candy covered chocolates (looks a little like jelly bellies actually) and a selection fo those would be great for a non-Tokyo person.

Yes & Yes

Japanese and in Hiroshima.

I will go down and look for those

thanks for the idea ^

Just bring a bottle of wine.

Would disagree with that LD. :) Unless it were wine from VA that had been brought with as it would be "something from home".

A bottle of wine is not something which is unique to an area and to get a decent bottle in Tokyo you need to pony up big coin. The money you could spend on a average bottle of wine here will get you a very nicely wrapped and unique (two bonus factors in this fair land) gift that is specific to a given shop or region.

A bottle of wine is not something which is unique to an area

Well that was my thinking actually - a nicely wrapped box of regional sweets is kind of a "giri" gift, very proper, no one will complain. Whereas a Y2000 bottle of Australian shiraz or maybe a Y3000 California chardonnay, if it's a wine you like that they might not have heard of, is a bit more personal and something they might enjoy more.

It's something you'd do for a new friend who you like rather than a business acquaintance who you have to be nice to - it's less rigid and more informal. I think pretty much everyone I know would rather get a nice bottle of wine from a dinner guest than some nicely wrapped candy. But of course candy is safe, and it's not wrong (and it might be more appreciated if they're very elderly).

Do you know if they like wine? IMO candy would be safer (and a 3000 yen bottle of wine in Tokyo is nothing), although imported single malt scotch is a classic business gift. I would avoid flowers or something that could possibly have cultural symbolism of which you aren't aware.

Whatever you get should be wrappped beautifully. It's also good for gifts to have famous brands or prestigious store labels. [Let the store warp it for you in their box or with paper/ribbon having their logo.]

If your host and hostess have spent a lot of time abroad, in some ways their expectations and ideas of etiquette for you on this occassion are likely to be closer to those of Americans living in Japan.

In any event, it's truly a special honor to be invited to dinner in a Japanese home. [As I'm sure you know, be prepared to remove your shoes at the door, so your shoes and socks should be in good condition.]

a 3000 yen bottle of wine in Tokyo is nothing

Now that's just ridiculous.

Go to ANY basement floor of ANY department store and pick any gift at ANY price point.

They will even wrap it for you.

If you do it in Tokyo, you can bring in candy, sweets, cake or whatever that can't be found in Hiroshima without effort. It's this "thoughtfulness" that is important.

My personal opinion is not to worry about it. If you were invited to somebody’s house in the U.S. and whatever gift you may get for the host will also be appropriate in Japan also.

Just like in the U.S., people you are visiting elderly or young? Do they have family? Kids are young?, etc. All those things which you may consider when visiting somebody in the U.S. will also apply in Japan.

Yes, there are etiquette and protocol when being invited by somebody in Japan which can be different from the U.S. But just like in the U.S., elderly people tend to follow those protocols more than younger people. Formal occasions those protocols are followed and on casual get together those protocols tend not to be followed much.

In formal occasions when protocols are followed, then in Japan people usually think of the host when considering the gift. Also, in formal occasions the person receiving the gift does not open the gift in front of the person who gave the gift. This comes from the idea of what important is the thought of gift giving, not the content of the gift. Especially regarding not opening the gift is still practiced widely in Japan during formal occasions.

During formal occasions a person giving the gift say 粗末な物ですが (Somatsuna mono desuga…, nothing of any value…) which putting yourself down when giving a gift. However, these days such is only practiced only during formal occasions.

However, if this is casual dinner party then what ever gift you will get in the U.S. will also be appropriate in Japan.

i personally, would be disappointed with candy and it would get thrown out. but then again, that is me. wine, OTOH, would be drunk.

so i guess what i am saying, is try to figure out what your host would like. blindly buying candy is stupid IMO. my friends would know candy, sweets, chocolate etc. would go straight in the bin.

Dinner Party Gift Question
 

Please for the sake if all that is holy, do not give anyone wine that costs 2-3000 yen in Tokyo if it is from Aus or CA. Guaranteed to be garbage. The only person who would appreciate that is wine ignorant or a starving student.

Giving candy is stupid? Sounds like someone needs to brush up on etiquette, ;-)

I think Taiwaned is spot on. And the (domestic) airports and train stations have shops that also cater to exactly bringing gifts. Note that you can bring liquids for domestic air travel if you are flying to Hiroshima.

Regarding wine, bringing something from Virginia is not something you do unless you want to make an enemy.

I don't care for new world wine in general and don't have experience buying it in Japan. But for my beloved Burgundy then you can get quite decent stuff in the 2000-3000 range. That's what I would drink for every day. I also found that the price is not that much higher than the US for Burgundy. I also found a very decent Dão for 1200 or 1400 at Tokyu Honten, which is not a cheap store.

I can't remember the name of the store, but they have a few branches around town including one on Dogenzaka in Shibuya. Imported gourmet food and booze and wine. Incredible selection of Bourbon, so that would be a gift from close to home. They also have good Burgundy.

This is intended for an elderly person. Although the caveat here is I was invited by elderly but I do believe the party is at her daughters house. The daughter is mid 50's I think.

I have no clue as to what they would like and am not likely to find out in time either.

So if I read this right and I do understand that there are differences of opinion here on giving wine and candy.

First, I'm wine ignorant as mentioned above so I tend to shy away from bringing wine anywhere including at home in the states.

Second, I'm leaning toward the candy/sweets thing but if I've read this thread correctly, presentation seems to matter as much as content.

I will be honest, I'm not even sure how formal this will be.

I'm going into this blind but don't to break any major Miss Manner's rules starting with the gift.

If you are staying at Grand Hyatt Tokyo, then I think this is one of great way to make use out of a concierge at the hotel. Explain to the concierge as much as you know of the person inviting you to the dinner, gender and age included and ask for suggestion for a gift from hotel concierge. Tell your budget for the gift and I am sure the concierge at the hotel will provide you with some good suggestions and where to buy gifts. The concierge can also write short note in Japanese indicating that your purchase is a gift which you can show the note to the store employee, then the store employee will wrap a gift in an appropriate way.

Actually, I have the solution for you. In Japan people are very brand conscious and for sweets the creme de la creme is Toraya. If you are going by train then there is a shop in Tokyo Station hotel. This will be considered to be a great gift by anyone, anywhere in Japan.

The Toraya bag with the tigers is a sign of great prestige in Japan.

http://www.toraya-group.co.jp/englis...index_ets.html

They also have a shop in Tokyo Midtown in Roppongi. You will also find it department stores and Haneda and in Tokyo station proper but they won't have the same selection.

On wine...

Yes, VA wine. Hmmm.... I agree.

And good point on Euro wines being inexpensive but providing great Cost performance. The US wines brought in are ludicrously expensive for quality, but the French and other options are very good at a very reasonable price. I have spent the summer sipping Spanish whites for about 1700 a bottle and it is fantastic.

OP, as AlwaysAisle says, I would not worry too much about it. You're not Japanese, and this doesn't appear to be a formal event, so a 1,000 boxed set of sweets, sembei, or something similar would be more than adequate. They generally come pre-wrapped which makes it dead simple.

Ahem...

[derail] I suggest you try some wines by Barboursville Vineyards, especially their Octagon 2009 (and I hear the 2010 is as good or better). You might just change your mind about new world wines.[/derail]

Um...I said "blindly buying candy..." is stupid. I mean, like I said, people buying me candy would not know better. It's like showing up to a diabetics house with candy or with peanut butter with a child with an allergy. ....

Funny, even though I just pulled the trigger on my SQN offer as usual, I would be happy with a bottle that a person thought was good QPR at any price. I mean those drinking wine with prices tagged on can easily be deceived. My uncle certainly enjoyed a 1995 389 over a 1993 hill of grace, both tasted blind out of brown paper bags. The 389 was only 15 bucks when I bought it. :rolleyes:


[i will add when we were invited for dinner with some locals in Hiroshima, we brought along, after we remembered from a single conversation we had 5 years earlier that they used to live near the imperial palace in Kyoto many many years ago ( and that they liked sake from Kyoto and never liked the hard water kobe style) a nice junmai daiginjo from one of the few remaining sake breweries around the imperial palace..I guess it was more of a museum.]

Yes, I would avoid the wine if you don't know wine and aren't comfortable bringing it. In that case sweets from a department store are fine.

For the benefit of others reading here though, while California wines are quite overpriced in Tokyo, Australian wines are a good deal (cheaper than they are in Australia in some cases), and that's what I would bring myself. (Also asked a few friends yesterday and that was the consensus.) Anyone who would turn their nose up at a Y2000-3000 bottle of Australian wine that was personally selected as a favorite isn't someone I'd care to know anyway.

(Also, Nissin, just down the road from Roppongi Hills, is a great place to buy wines, especially if you know what you're looking for and what you like.)

Depending on the household, it is very possible that your wrapped gift will be put on or just in front of the family altar and kept there for some time. This is so that deceased family members can take their share of the gift, but it will look as if your offering is on display.
Speaking from personal experience, having your badly wrapped/crushed packaging showcased in such a way is embarrassing.

Even if this doesn't happen at the party itself, the elderly person you are buying for may very well take the gift home and share it with the inhabitants of her own shrine.

When purchasing gifts in Japan (and in some stores outside of Japan catering to those with Japanese sensibilities), you can request store branded packaging separately. This is so that you can wrap the present at your destination and lessen the crumpling impact of travel on your gift. Higher end hotels (but not all) have wrapping services.

Yeah, OP is a foreigner so anything he does or doesn't do is "excused" however it seems that the OP wants to really do things right.

Anything, even an 1000 yen gift, (it's not the dollar value that is important) is properly wrapped then it is more than appropriate.

Even Virginian wine is fine if it is wrapped properly and given to the householder with respect.

People on this board are getting too wrapped up on what the gift should be, however what is more important is it's wrapping. (It's warped but can't emphasis this)

Laplap explains one of the reasons why the wrapping is so important.

(just thinking of the gifts we have received this past season, pickles, vegetable oil, sake, beer, wine, candy, boxes of fruit (apples, peaches, cherries, blueberries) certificate for a custom dress shirts, plates) this is just off the top of my head. My FIL recently retired so gifts are not coming in as they used to but at its peak, he received 200 plus gifts twice a year and it was completely overwhelming to the family.

Do Not Try This At Home
 

The gift-wrapping.

I don't care how good you think you are - you'll never do it as nicely as the stores do it.

I couldn't believe the amount of attention devoted to gift-wrapping in Japan. It was often (grossly) disproportionate to the gift inside the wrapping. For example - I bought some fairly inexpensive (but very attractive) chopstick holders as gifts. The wrapping was exquisite. And - kicking things up a notch - our of our hotels gave us a small gift. I can't recall what the gift was - but it was wrapped in a beautiful piece of cloth that I have saved to this day (and used for things like lining a bread basket when I'm having guests for dinner).

FWIW - if I am giving a gift to a woman - a hostess gift - my favorite is always sweets - especially chocolates. One of my favorite sources is La Maison du Chocolat (which has several boutiques in Tokyo). Robyn

Sounds like a cloth you are describing is Furoshiki (風呂敷), it is a traditional cloth used to wrap thing when carrying things around outside. People still use Furoshiki for formal occasions. Found a link on how to use Furoshiki.

How to use a Japanese Wrapping Cloth Furoshiki

There are tons of youtube links showing how to wrap things with cloth furoshiki (amazingly easy) and paper (a bit harder).

Anyone can wrap simple boxes as neatly as the employees of a department store can, you just need to understand the techniques involved, which may seem a little counter intuitive. The main trick is not to start with the corners of the box and the corners of the paper at the same angles and use a larger sheet of paper than you might have thought appropriate.

This video shows the main principles involved, it's really not that difficult.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tnDzQoRXf8I

I took over twenty packets of English and French artisan biscuits to Japan a couple of months ago and wrapped them up myself whilst in Tokyo. The gifts looked smart and pristine, a sharp contrast to pre wrapped presents I've taken to Japan on previous occasions which always look worn and wrinkled no matter how well I attempt to pack them.

I am a bit challenged when it comes to certain domestic things - like wrapping gifts. Nevertheless - I'll give the technique in the youtube you linked a try. At Christmas - for my husband (he's even worse at wrapping things than I am ;)). And you're right - the cloth wrapping looks a lot easier than the paper.

I agree about trying to pack things that are already wrapped in one's luggage. They always come out the worse for wear. Robyn