joejones

Yes, that is basically how I reacted to the suggestion as well. It is beyond weird to bring someone a gift for the purpose of consuming it yourself. It would actually make more sense to simply bring your own drink and say that it's the only thing you drink (though that would still be pretty weird).

robyng

It was only an idea/suggestion from someone who doesn't know a whole lot about Japanese culture. FWIW - I have a refrigerator full of odds and ends of some "gifts" like that that people have given to me . Robyn

LapLap

I understand that, robyng, which is why I took the time to explain.

So these "gifts" in your refrigerator, the guests brought them with the intention of consuming them themselves and then didn't? (or didn't finish them)
But you have no intention of eating/drinking them and haven't got rid of them because they were gifts?
Isn't that extremely annoying??
And how big is your refrigerator that you can afford to store stuff you know you will never eat (or do you feel compelled to keep some of it for your guests in case they drop around again?).

You come from a culture very different to my own (and to the one I partly adopted when I got married) and I'm genuinely fascinated by how things are done around your way. I'm sorry I had to say it seemed a bit weird, but from my cultural standing it just does, hence my desire to understand further.

5khours

Definitely ask for an orange whip. It transcends all cultures.

TravelSux

I have been working in Japan for a few months and usually the locals expect from Americans and Europeans to drink a lot. But especially if you are in a private situation, the Japanese are so polite and it will never be an issue if you reject alcohol. Many of them cannot drink at all, so you are not alone. You can always ask for a green tea.

I really don't like to eat seafood which is very unusual in Japan. But I just told them that I have an allergy and it was always accepted and they were even very much interested to help me to find something else on the menu.

As for business, drinking alcohol can really help you to get closer to some people and also improve relationships and the ability to close big deals. But in a private envirnoment, there is no need to worry.

robyng

Yes - they were gifts my guests intended to consume themselves. Things like diet coke (I don't drink soft drinks). I usually save this stuff for a year in case the guests return - but toss it after a year (although I've been chided that I've kept it beyond its expiration date <rolling eyes>).

Note that the storage isn't a problem. I have a large refrigerator/freezer in my kitchen - and a decent sized refrigerator in the garage that I use just for extra cold storage.

And on the few and far between occasions when I am a guest in someone's house - I will bring things that I am pretty sure my host will not have - so as not to put them out in terms of shopping. But I will also do an appropriate "thank you" - usually something like a dinner at a nice restaurant.

For example - I will be a guest at a relative's house for the first time in perhaps a decade this June. A niece is getting married in Michigan. I smoke - and Michigan is a total non-smoking state when it comes to hotels. So my BIL and SIL - rather than have me stay home - have insisted that I stay at their house. I will probably bring a bottle of gin (they just drink beer and wine). But we will take them out for the nicest meal we can find in their neck of the woods as a "thank you". Also help in terms of buying/preparing some food to cater any family brunch the day after the wedding. I think that's appropriate - yes?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I didn't think bringing something you might want in a host's house that you were pretty sure your host didn't have would be a means of saying "thank you". It would be a way to avoid inconveniencing your host - and then you say "thank you" for hospitality in other ways. I hope you understand my POV.

FWIW - the people who bring stuff for themselves to my house are members of my family. And they don't usually do anything more. Like take me and my husband out to dinner. Even if they're staying at our house - or we cook an elaborate dinner for them - or anything else. They're not the most considerate people in the world. OTOH - they are spending money to travel here. On the third hand - they never visited us at all for perhaps a decade after we moved here until my now 94 year old father moved here 7 years ago and I started to take care of most of his stuff. Robyn

jib71

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