Hyatt Residence Presentation - Offensive comment where to report?
Jul 19, 2018, 12:07 am
#16
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: PHX, SEA
Programs: Avis President's Club, Global Entry, Hilton/Marriott Gold. No more DL/AA status.
Posts: 4,422
I'd never think that a timeshare salesman would be offensive. I mean, they're bastions of integrity and have such a high moral code, right? Right fellas?!! Hello?
I hope you report them and make sure to point out that you didn't buy. Maybe the latter will get him in trouble if not the former.
I hope you report them and make sure to point out that you didn't buy. Maybe the latter will get him in trouble if not the former.
Jul 19, 2018, 5:58 am
#18
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: CT/ Germany - Ich spreche deutsch
Programs: UA 1K, Bonvoy LTTE, HH Dia, HY Expl
Posts: 4,657
Between family members and friends, I know well a solid baker's dozen gay and lesbian couples (and through them, of course I have met many more couples). I don't know any same sex couple that in any way refers to themselves as husband and wife. Always as 'husbands' or as 'wives' for same sex male and female couples respectfully. Perhaps some do, but I don't know of any in my sample size. .
You are at a gay male couples house for dinner...someone goes over to one of the guys and asks something like "can I help do something" and the response likely might be...."go ask my wife."
Reality is the terms are used but the context that it was used in was a problem. It's kind of like the use of other terms that are ok for some people to say and not ok for others to say.
Jul 19, 2018, 7:19 am
#19
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Seat 2A
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Posts: 10,571
If you can't counter such (uninformed) comments with factual corrections maybe you shouldn't live the lifestyle?
People are offensive all the time and this doesn't even come close to it unless you have extremely thin skin.
People are offensive all the time and this doesn't even come close to it unless you have extremely thin skin.
Jul 19, 2018, 10:43 am
#20
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: CT/ Germany - Ich spreche deutsch
Programs: UA 1K, Bonvoy LTTE, HH Dia, HY Expl
Posts: 4,657
Jul 19, 2018, 11:43 am
#22
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: California
Programs: Hyatt Global, Marriot Lifetime Titanium
Posts: 2,282
Don't worry, there are lots of people who preach about sexism who are completely unable to see it in themselves. I'm happy not to explain it to such people, as it's a waste of my time.
Jul 19, 2018, 11:55 am
#23
Join Date: Oct 2008
Programs: UA 1K, AA Plat, SPG Platinum, National Executive
Posts: 1,970
No, we actually agree that sexism and racism (etc.) are terrible things that need to be fought. I just think it's not a good idea to label nearly everything sexist, because it numbs people's senses to actual cases of sexism with actual victims.
Jul 19, 2018, 12:30 pm
#24
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Stilllwater OK (SWO)
Programs: AAdvantage ExecPlat, World of Hyatt Globalist, plain "member" of Marriott, IHG, enterprise, etc.
Posts: 1,848
Jul 19, 2018, 12:54 pm
#25
Original Poster
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Programs: Hyatt LT Globalist, Marriot LT Titanium, UA 2.4MM, HH Gold, AS MVPG
Posts: 3,400
" My husband and I .." is what you wrote and " sales associate explained that the purchase would be deeded property. So we could hold the property as “husband and wife..." is what you said the presenter said. I dont get it sorry. I would understand it if he said ... So we could hold the property as male and female..."
Im out of the loop and dont mean any disrespect, but would your husband use those exact words as well when describing the 2 of you," My husband and I" which would mean there are 2 husbands and no wives in the relationship. Or would they say My wife and I? If you both would say My husband and I, is that something every same sex married couple would say.
would it be wrong to mention that theres a church nearby with Sunday noon mass, w/o thinking that most likley there are many folks who are of another religion or no religion at all. Now if the presenter said that as a slight thats a whole different matter meaning he didnt want those who practiced a different religion buying in, or in your case he didnt want any same sex couples.Otherwise according to you he said what you said you were unless there isnt any "wife" in your marriage, and how is anyone to know that?
Im out of the loop and dont mean any disrespect, but would your husband use those exact words as well when describing the 2 of you," My husband and I" which would mean there are 2 husbands and no wives in the relationship. Or would they say My wife and I? If you both would say My husband and I, is that something every same sex married couple would say.
would it be wrong to mention that theres a church nearby with Sunday noon mass, w/o thinking that most likley there are many folks who are of another religion or no religion at all. Now if the presenter said that as a slight thats a whole different matter meaning he didnt want those who practiced a different religion buying in, or in your case he didnt want any same sex couples.Otherwise according to you he said what you said you were unless there isnt any "wife" in your marriage, and how is anyone to know that?
I never said "my husband and I" to him. He was sitting in front of both of us - neither one of us has the appearance of not being a man. So saying to us "you can hold the property as husband and wife...if that's what you call it" is offensive.
Jul 19, 2018, 1:03 pm
#26
Original Poster
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: San Francisco, CA, USA
Programs: Hyatt LT Globalist, Marriot LT Titanium, UA 2.4MM, HH Gold, AS MVPG
Posts: 3,400
I always say that to my Jewish/Black/Female/Asian/Muslim (feel free to fill in any other group that can be offended) friends as well. If you can't counter such (uninformed) comments with factual corrections maybe you should just stop being Jewish/Black/Female/Asian/Muslim.
Sarcasm off
Anyway - I've sent a message to my Lifetime Globalist Concierge and she said she'd pass on to corporate. I just don't think that Hyatt wants to portray this type of image, especially judging by their very inclusive ad campaign for WOH and generally huge supporters of the LGBTQ community.
I do realize "tone" is lost when writing something, but trust me I'm pretty sure the sales person meant to be offensive.
Jul 19, 2018, 7:49 pm
#27
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 1,959
50 years old and just learned two years ago that there is no wife in a gay male relationship, and that its two husbands. Sorry but some of us have limited exposure and no gay friends to set us straight. I think it was his ignorance of how a gay relationship works and not the salesman trying to disrespect you in anyway.
Jul 20, 2018, 10:07 pm
#29
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: USA & UK -- AA EXP 3.5MM, Hyatt Diamond, SPG Plat, Avis President's Club
Posts: 6,411
During the presentation the sales associate explained that the purchase would be deeded property. So we could hold the property as “husband and wife...is that what you call it?” My husband and I are a same-sex married couple.
In hind-sight I should have gotten up and asked for a manager at that time. But we were on vacation and I didn’t. However I do think this needs to be reported so that there is some sensitivity training done for this. Who should I reach out to?
In hind-sight I should have gotten up and asked for a manager at that time. But we were on vacation and I didn’t. However I do think this needs to be reported so that there is some sensitivity training done for this. Who should I reach out to?
First, I'm sorry you became offended. Is it possible that the sales associate had no intention of offending anyone? It seems like an innocent query to me. Surely it could have been worded better. But almost everything can be worded better, including my post. And yours. When I was a kid, we had a chant which came in handy when some other kid hurled an insult:
"Sticks and stones
may break my bones,
but words will never hurt me".
It's obvious that today's world has forgotten this chant. People are quick to interpret words as hostile remarks, when no hostility was ever intended.
Back to the infuriating question, I myself have no earthly idea whether a same-sex married couple uses the term "husband and wife". I'm mildly curious. The curiosity is NOT meant to piss anyone off, but simply to expand my own knowledge. I have zero experience in this topic, therefore I'm ignorant. Apparently other people share this same ignorance about this same topic. What's the most straight-forward way to gain knowledge? (Hint: ask questions). But apparently, in today 's society, questions are no longer welcome as a method of learning. And therein lies the paradox . Ignorance pisses us off, yet we don't allow people to cure their own ignorance by asking questions.
So ... does a same-sex married couple use the term "husband and wife"? I have no earthly idea. I'd actually like to know. But if asking the question makes people get all mad and huffy, then forget it .... because my desire to learn is not quite THAT strong.
"Sticks and stones
may break my bones,
but words will never hurt me".
It's obvious that today's world has forgotten this chant. People are quick to interpret words as hostile remarks, when no hostility was ever intended.
Back to the infuriating question, I myself have no earthly idea whether a same-sex married couple uses the term "husband and wife". I'm mildly curious. The curiosity is NOT meant to piss anyone off, but simply to expand my own knowledge. I have zero experience in this topic, therefore I'm ignorant. Apparently other people share this same ignorance about this same topic. What's the most straight-forward way to gain knowledge? (Hint: ask questions). But apparently, in today 's society, questions are no longer welcome as a method of learning. And therein lies the paradox . Ignorance pisses us off, yet we don't allow people to cure their own ignorance by asking questions.
So ... does a same-sex married couple use the term "husband and wife"? I have no earthly idea. I'd actually like to know. But if asking the question makes people get all mad and huffy, then forget it .... because my desire to learn is not quite THAT strong.