tmorse6570

It isn't a big deal, but my partner and I get asked this a lot lately while out and about. I think it's their polite way of confirming whether we're gay. I mean, I never ask guys or women if they're brothers or sisters. I just assume they're friends. It usually happens in elevators and usually seems cute.

We drove up to Big Sky just to check the place out during the off-ski season and were just walking around the base lodge and this guy came up to us and asked if we needed help finding something. I explained how I'd always wanted to see the mountain in person. I expected him to ask if we were interested in real estate, but instead, he just said "What are you, brothers or something?".

I'm not complaining, I just notice it happening more lately and think it's a curious way of asking. It's pretty obvious they really don't want to know if we're brothers.

carlosdca

Most likely, the person wanted to know how you are related, not that there is any bias of any type, it is normal for people to be curious about the relationship of two people they are doing business with.
And maybe you two look like brothers, same ethnicity, close age range (or at least by looks), so why not assume you are brothers?

zitsky

Would you prefer to look very different and have flight attendants ask if you want to move to have "more space"? That's what happened to me recently on a Delta flight. I wrote in to complain and got an apology plus a promise to improve their customer service training. This was on a flight to SAN FRANCISCO!!!

tmorse6570

This made me smile because one of the encounters was with two gorgeous and really tipsy young women in an elevator late at night at Wynn in LAS. Plus it made me realize how gay I was because all I could think of was how I hoped they made it home or back to their room safely.

zitsky

Do you have to be gay to think that, though? 🤔

rrgg

Do you look alike? Never been asked this.

carlosdca

I don't understand what's your point.
Tipsy girls probably wanted to be friendly with you and they asked that.
It is human nature to assume and try to fit to what one knows or is most used to see.
It happens with gays, non-gays, etc.

A friend of mine (a petite latina) is in the park with her kids (who are blond as the dad) and people have asked her if she is the nanny. She corrects them that she is the mother and the people that asked probably learned something that day.

My coworker (a very liberal young girl) noticed that I have a wedding band and correctly assumed I am married. Then she asked something like "does your wife work nearby?" (or similar, can't recall the exact question).
And I corrected her "My husband". Years later she told me she was mortified and embarrassed at the time. I told her not to worry it happens all the time. We are good work friends now.

It is what it is.

I have an inter-racial marriage and with a noticeable age gap, so, obviously, nobody has ever asked us if we are brothers.
I was recently in Utah skiing and at the lodge at dinner (most of the guests are straight male buddies) we were asked if we are friends and how we know each other. We said we are married and that we met at a bar in Europe and nobody blinked an eye. They were even interested in how we made it all work out.