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It Gets Better, Unless You're Fat

It Gets Better, Unless You're Fat

Old Oct 12, 13, 11:23 am
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It Gets Better, Unless You're Fat

I don't usually say "this is an interesting Buzz Feed article" but this is an interesting Buzz Feed article. I often say the only acceptable kind of prejudice left is against fat people and this article seems to agree:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/louispeitzma...youre-fat?bffb
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Old Oct 12, 13, 4:40 pm
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Not sure if there are others here are redditors but in /r/gaybros there is a pretty long thread going on about that piece.
NSFWish http://www.reddit.com/r/gaybros/comm...ess_youre_fat/
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Old Oct 20, 13, 7:23 pm
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Unfortunately the gay community has a rampant dark underbelly that exposes a tremendous amount of racism and/or hostility towards people that don't match a person's personal preference. Some of the comments I've read over the years are so hostile and mean, I can only assume the writer has some deep rooted personal esteem issues which cloud their thinking process.

A ran across some comments posted in a fitness community (similar to FT, but for fitness) made by a former FT member ("smart" enough to use the same handle for both sites) that were so shockingly mean and derogatory against anyone who didn't "measure up" so their personal standard for body condition, I was really shocked.

The gay community is rife with personals and hookup ads that include "no fatties", no "oldies", no 'Asians", or "Christians only". I don't know if the straight community is so obvious and blatant with hostility towards members of the opposite sex who "don't measure up", but my opinion after reading so much of this hostility over the years was to scoff at the concept of "gay equality" and "community" because there is really nothing that involves "equality" or "community" among the gay population.

When the "community" wanted my support for equality, I just looked the other way. Sorry, but that's my attitude. Clean your own home before demanding guests come over and embrace it.
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Old Oct 20, 13, 8:21 pm
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In other news, the world is round.
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Old Oct 21, 13, 2:42 am
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I recently attended my first Gay Days at Disneyland. It was eye opening in many ways, but the biggest was that there were a lot of fat/obese guys (and gals) in red shirts from what appeared to be many different parts of the USA and walks of life. I'm not sure why I expected young, chiseled guys like so many pride events or circuit parties, but it was refreshing to see more of our diverse community. (So much less attitude as well).

But the truth is America has an obesity problem. I know our community has a lot of issues to address related to equality, civil rights, curing HIV, etc. but we should give obesity some attention as well. I say that not only as an aesthetic/appearance issue (which one can't ignore is a biggie in the gay community) but for health, happiness, longevity and economic reasons as well.

It WILL GET BETTER (in many ways) if we all shed some weight!

(And I say the above as someone who's very much overweight)
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Old Oct 21, 13, 2:18 pm
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Originally Posted by bocastephen View Post
Unfortunately the gay community has a rampant dark underbelly that exposes a tremendous amount of racism and/or hostility towards people that don't match a person's personal preference. Some of the comments I've read over the years are so hostile and mean, I can only assume the writer has some deep rooted personal esteem issues which cloud their thinking process.

A ran across some comments posted in a fitness community (similar to FT, but for fitness) made by a former FT member ("smart" enough to use the same handle for both sites) that were so shockingly mean and derogatory against anyone who didn't "measure up" so their personal standard for body condition, I was really shocked.

The gay community is rife with personals and hookup ads that include "no fatties", no "oldies", no 'Asians", or "Christians only". I don't know if the straight community is so obvious and blatant with hostility towards members of the opposite sex who "don't measure up", but my opinion after reading so much of this hostility over the years was to scoff at the concept of "gay equality" and "community" because there is really nothing that involves "equality" or "community" among the gay population.

When the "community" wanted my support for equality, I just looked the other way. Sorry, but that's my attitude. Clean your own home before demanding guests come over and embrace it.
So you condemn an entire group because individuals within the group condemn entire groups? Lovely.
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Old Oct 21, 13, 3:21 pm
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Too bad there isn't a large community of overweight gay men who take pride in their size; they could have their own bars and cruises and websites and magazines and weeks in gay resort towns. That would be better than posting on marginally related message boards and feeling sorry for ones self. Too bad such a community doesn't exist, or bearly does.
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Old Oct 21, 13, 4:08 pm
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Originally Posted by rjque View Post
So you condemn an entire group because individuals within the group condemn entire groups? Lovely.
When this group turns a blind eye to the racism and other forms of hatred and abusive behavior within its own ranks while constantly howling about its lack of equality, then yes I do. When the gay community cleans up the mess in its own house, I'll be more open to hearing why equality with "non-gay" society is important.
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Old Oct 21, 13, 4:45 pm
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I have a slightly different take on the subject. Currently, I am working temp looking for full time. Despite an MBA and years of experience its beyond brutal. Unless you have a high in demand skill the job market is more "judgemental" than anything the gay community could ever dish out. Show up for a job interview overweight and looking like a slob, its game over.
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Old Oct 21, 13, 5:54 pm
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Originally Posted by bocastephen View Post
When this group turns a blind eye to the racism and other forms of hatred and abusive behavior within its own ranks while constantly howling about its lack of equality, then yes I do. When the gay community cleans up the mess in its own house, I'll be more open to hearing why equality with "non-gay" society is important.
So I'm responsible for the existence of racist gay people just because I'm gay? If so, are you responsible for the existence of racist straight people just because you are straight?
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Old Oct 21, 13, 8:56 pm
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Originally Posted by rjque View Post
So I'm responsible for the existence of racist gay people just because I'm gay? If so, are you responsible for the existence of racist straight people just because you are straight?
I'm straight?

No, my point is the gay community is responsible for promoting acceptance within its own walls before running around demanding acceptance from the outside world. From my vantage point, and the experience of many of my friends who are the victims of racism, or others who are verbally abused or ridiculed for their average appearance, the gay community has a long road ahead before it assumes any moral ground to demand equality from others.

Do the owners of apps such as Grindr, Growlr, Scruff and others have anti-racist or abusive policies that remove profiles that contain such gems as "No Asians!" or "No Blacks!" - and I chuckle at authors of such profiles who then claim "I'm not racist, it's just a preference" Toss in a few profiles that include "you better look like me if you want to talk to me" or "if you don't show up with a six pack, expect to be sent home humiliated"....(the answer is no they don't have such policies, or at least they are not enforced).
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Old Oct 21, 13, 9:26 pm
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Have you ever considered it might be your attitude and not your "average" appearance that's causing ridicule? There are not nice people of every race, gender, and sexual orientation. And can a mod shut down this wildly off topic thread. I suggest a therapists office or queer theory forum would be a more appropriate forum.

Last edited by Adam1222; Oct 21, 13 at 10:46 pm
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Old Oct 21, 13, 11:44 pm
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Originally Posted by itsaboutthejourney View Post
But the truth is America has an obesity problem. I know our community has a lot of issues to address related to equality, civil rights, curing HIV, etc. but we should give obesity some attention as well. I say that not only as an aesthetic/appearance issue (which one can't ignore is a biggie in the gay community) but for health, happiness, longevity and economic reasons as well.

It WILL GET BETTER (in many ways) if we all shed some weight!

(And I say the above as someone who's very much overweight)
It seems like you have more a personal self-confidence issue than anything.

For you that you can shed some weight, howabout being asian who doesn't have a big penis, that has no way to increase my size, not to mention plenty of sizequeens out there, with your logic what can I do about it then ?


Originally Posted by Adam1222 View Post
Too bad there isn't a large community of overweight gay men who take pride in their size;
+1

Originally Posted by Adam1222 View Post
they could have their own bars and cruises and websites and magazines and weeks in gay resort towns. That would be better than posting on marginally related message boards and feeling sorry for ones self. Too bad such a community doesn't exist, or bearly does.
Mmmm, do you aware there is a Bear Pride every year the same time it happened with IML in Chicago ? And other than bear pride, like this year they have the Convergence in New Orleans beginning in September ?

Bear pride not just means bears, it also means bears, cubs, chubs, and chasers !

Last edited by ORDnHKG; Oct 21, 13 at 11:53 pm
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Old Oct 22, 13, 12:22 am
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Originally Posted by bocastephen View Post
The gay community is rife with personals and hookup ads that include "no fatties", no "oldies", no 'Asians", or "Christians only". I don't know if the straight community is so obvious and blatant with hostility towards members of the opposite sex who "don't measure up", but my opinion after reading so much of this hostility over the years was to scoff at the concept of "gay equality" and "community" because there is really nothing that involves "equality" or "community" among the gay population.
So, because you have a personal preference on what body type you want to sleep with, you are prejudice and hostile? Count me guilty. All you poor hairless skinny dudes are out of luck.

And I can guarantee you the straight community ads are as bad or worse.
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Old Oct 22, 13, 5:32 am
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Originally Posted by itsaboutthejourney View Post
I recently attended my first Gay Days at Disneyland. It was eye opening in many ways, but the biggest was that there were a lot of fat/obese guys (and gals) in red shirts from what appeared to be many different parts of the USA and walks of life. I'm not sure why I expected young, chiseled guys like so many pride events or circuit parties, but it was refreshing to see more of our diverse community. (So much less attitude as well).
FWIW, there are at least two, probably three or more, worlds in Orlando during Gay Disney weekend. One, the red-shirts in the parks. Two, the circuit crowd at the host hotel pool parties (BV Palace the last two years) and the after hours (usually held at Arabian Nights, sometimes elsewhere), some of whom also show up for the other parties. Three (though I report only from the knowledge of a driver I'd trust), the cruisers at the Parliament House and similar such venues.

If you'd gone to the Palace or Arabian Nights, your expectations would have been met, for better or worse.

As for the actual topic of this thread, it gets down to whether some discrimination is socially permissible (even desirable?). Thankfully, prejudice against gay people for being gay is ending, or at least winding down, in many parts of many cultures around the world, though of course it remains present in many pockets. Prejudice against--or for--overweight people remains acceptable in many cultures, including many Western ones, and this is not news (perhaps the only news being that this is considered the last acceptable form of prejudice, when once prejudice against gays was). Many forms of "discrimination" are totally acceptable, particularly as concerns matters of taste: IMO, wine from Georgia is rubbish, New York passable, California magnificent (provided the right producer, location, varietal, blah blah blah). When cruising for a date, or a hookup, we should not be surprised when someone expresses taste, even if it manifests itself in a form of discrimination unacceptable in other walks of life. I'm into Asian men. That's a preference, a matter of taste reflecting what my mind's eye finds desirable in an object of affection. That's not wrong, and to hell with anyone who tries to tell me it is. But would I discriminate for or against Asian men when it comes to a job? No, of course not. That would wrong. And to hell with anyone who tries to tell me it's acceptable.

Last edited by MegatopLover; Oct 22, 13 at 5:43 am
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