Papa John's Pizza Is Disgusting
 

From 1964 through the afternoon of July 4, 2021, I've never had a slice of Papa John's pizza. And from bedtime on July 4, 2021 until the time I'm placed in a box, I don't expect I'll ever have another bite.

Picture it. 3 of us started the afternoon of July 4 at a lovely wine bar in Oakland, California (and somehow survived without being shot up, and that, after a bus ride to get there), and after a lovely bottle of Chablis, moseyed up the way to another spot, where #4 joined us for some more refreshing beverages. After a while, we decided to eat. And so we moseyed further to a great little spot that was closing early, but had no sign stating same, so we stood there like idiots for a few minutes before someone came up and said "we're closed." (Diners were still dining.) Well, there went that Luka's burger we were all craving. So, since #4 lived a few blocks away, and had a rooftop patio on the building (on which to watch a million $ of illegal fireworks explode), we moseyed a bit further to #4's pad. #3 decided that ordering pizza would be a good idea, and so he did so (without consultation) and after a while, Papa John's pizza arrived, which we brought up to the terraza.

OMFG. What a horrible piece of gloop. It weighed a relative ton (and not in that deep dish pizza sort of way), and was soggy and gross. Three days later, the trauma persists. It wasn't even worth a fraction of what I paid for it, which was nothing. I was almost longing for a piece of 1979 High School pizza, which in retrospect, was nearly Chez Panisse quality compared to Papa John's.

Oh, the horror. If there were only some Chablis left with which to wash it down. A Golden State Cider almost did the trick.

Did I mention how disgusting the Papa John's pizza is? I'm surprised Mama Celeste didn't assassinate him.

LOL. I rarely eat pizza due to lactose intolerance. But I have had most nationwide chain pizza at one time or another. My biggest objection to Papa John’s is the amount of sugar in the sauce. Pizza should not be sweet.

how much papa John’s were you eating before 1964??? Omg.

I have zero idea if I’ve had it.

I use lactaid and its knockoffs as needed.

I do too. Sometimes it’s not enough. I’m safest with non-dairy alternatives and only aged cheeses.

I'd love to tell you about the pizza I just had in St Moritz, with Raclette cheese, some wild mushrooms, and bresaola. Oh, and real dough of course.

I discovered this about 20 years ago. The only big chain pizza I've had that might be worse is Little Caesar's...and it's pretty close. At least here in the Midwest, it seems to me that people consider Papa John's a step above Domino's, Pizza Hut, etc. I just don't get it. Fortunately in the Chicago area, we have a family run pizza shop just about every other block, so I haven't touched one of the above-mentioned chains in a looooong time.

We have excellent pizza of various types all over the place here. Of course, not all deliver. Even with chains, I don't mind the Round Table or the Mountain Mike's. I can't compare with Domino's or Pizza Hut because it is likely that I've not had any since Clinton was in the White House (or perhaps the early days of GWB).

Of course, this could have been a "one off" by a bad franchise. Of course course, it probably isn't. ;)

My cousin brought a portable pizza oven to the lakehouse in NH on the 4th. It runs on pellets. You get the stone very hot (about 500 degrees) in the oven and he used pizza dough, tomato sauce, deli quality Italian meats and fresh mozzarella.

It took a while to get the stone hot enough, constantly feeding little sawdust pellets into the chute, but once it was hot, the pizzas were amazing. There were 8 of us including 4 teenagers and the pizzas were devoured between tubing and paddle boarding,

This portable pizza oven is an interesting but slightly complex process, but the fresh cooked pizza was on another level.

Yum!

Depending on your grill (and assuming you have one there), you can accomplish the same on a grill. I have a nice Weber propane that heats to 600 in about 15 minutes. I put a pizza stone in cold, heat to 600, slide the pizza onto the stone and it finishes in about 7-9 minutes. Might be less if you want a softer crust but I prefer some crunch. But of course it doesn't offer the portability if you were making pizzas lakeside. For us, the difference between the lakehouse grill and lake is about 25 big stair steps and I wouldn't want to go back and forth.

To think that you could have just as easily ordered Round Table....what a shame.

If it were only that easy. #3 said he was ordering pizza (or perhaps, said he just ordered pizza) and voila, VIAB showed up.

Seems you let the wrong person order the pizza.

I’ve had PJ pizza a couple of times. Probably 8+ years ago. Didn't stand out one way or the other.

I’m not horribly picky, though. I’m fine with Costco, Pizza Hut or Domino’s.

Costco pizza is fine. I like it even better when I reheat it in a 500 degree oven for 7 or so minutes.

Color me one to go against the grain here. I love Papa John's pizza. You said it was soggy. Perhaps you may have just gotten a bad pie? I always ask for our pizzas (from all places) to be made 'well done' as we like the crunchiness of a pizza that is a little more done.

Occasionally, we'll get a pizza (from all places) that doesn't live up to expectations, but I don't refuse to go back there based on a one-off experience.

I thought that was a Chicago thing! I haven't ever heard someone order it that way anywhere else. Good to know I won't get laughed at if I do that somewhere else.