I keep finding myself thinking about drinking, or setting (fairly arbitrary) dates for starting drinking again. I’m also drinking a lot of alcohol free beers most evenings, all of which tells me I’m probably not ready to start drinking again.

Thoughts?

My start date was 5 days ago. I was looking forward to it and overindulged. I’ve had two smallish glasses of wine since and no real desire for more. I don’t know if you’re ready or not, but I can tell you to start out slowly when you do. If you do.

My first attempt at not drinking lasted 16 years. My wife’s grandmother had stopped at about the same time. She had a genuine problem and was warned to get it under control or forfeit visiting with her grandchildren. We made a contest out of it. I won when she passed away. I know that sounds bad but she and I had discussed it and she complained that I had an unfair advantage being so much younger. There was nothing at stake but her sobriety and I felt like I was giving her encouragement. I kept it up another 7-8 years longer because I enjoyed being the only non-drinker at functions. Mrs BV’s grandmother wasn’t the only one in the family with a drinking problem. I know it shouldn’t have been entertaining but there was nothing I could do to stop them so I might as well enjoy the show.

After abandoning sobriety I found that my drinking had changed in its nature. Of course I was now 45 instead of 28. I now drink, when I do, to enjoy what I’m drinking, not just the buzz it provides. I have fewer drinks, less often and I’m never drunk. I never felt I had a drinking problem in my 20’s, I initially quit to lose weight, but I could imagine one developing.

Everyone’s different. If I had remained a non-drinker I think of all the craft beers I’d have missed, all the breweries and wineries I wouldn’t have visited, all the barfly conversations I would have missed. You’ll eventually realize you’ve made a decision even if nothing changes.

For me the first few days to a week I think about alcohol often and then it tapers off to the point that I don't think of it at all. I do think of it when it is an occasion (like VD or st pat's day or we have a street concert etc) but day to day it doesn't cross my mind. Maybe you need to give it more time. I don't know if the fake beers are contributing to your thoughts but probably.

I started out drinking club soda when I went to bars. I graduated to non-alcoholic beers and even bought some for the fridge. You may be right. Ultimately, it was the draft beer revolution that got me drinking again. Friends would come by and we’d sit out on the front porch. I’d have a bottle of Sharps and they’d have a six pack of Sam Adams cherry wheat. I’d be “Wha...? They make beer in cherry flavor now?” Eventually I decided to try some for myself. I’m not sure I would have if I was still doing the club soda.

Baby steps...

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During the early throes of the pandemic, I was definitely drinking more often--2-3 drinks every day. After two weeks, and an empty large gin bottle, that's when we decided to cut back to pre-pandemic levels: no drinking on Monday-Wednesday nights, except if there was some social Zoom call (which was rare)--some weeks I'll also not have a drink an additional day or two.

Since going low carb (20 grams of net carbs or less / day, 25 grams total carbs):
I've made the following changes:

Wines: lower carb / lower alcohol wines via a Dry Farms Wine subscription.

Beer: I was drinking mostly Clausthaler, my absolute fave non-alcoholic beer. Tastes like a good craft beer to me. My friends were not able to pick it out of a single-blind taste test as the non-alcoholic beer :-). However, it has too many carbs.

For a while I switched back to low-carb lite beer when I really wanted something carbonated that tasted vaguely like beer. Now I've found Lagunitas Hop. It would never be confused for alcoholic beer. However it IS exactly what it says, a "hoppy refresher" and I've developed a taste for it.

Liquor: zero carb liquors - gins and whisky, with a preference for gin. I used to think gin was boring but now I dig it. Even at zero carbs, liquor adds a lot to total calories though. No free lunch.

I tried an expensive non-alcoholic gin. Brand name D___. It tasted awful just by itself. When mixed with fizzy water it's OK.

I am one of those strange people who truly want to drink for the interesting taste, for the social camaraderie, and I am fascinated by how alcohol is labeled. So much design into each one. not for the head feeling I get.

But I actually don't like the feeling from drinking. My brain works perfectly well as-is and I don't need or want something messin' with it. Plus if all the latest health news is true, there is no healthy amount.

I really wish there were great non-alcoholic versions of everything.

For tonight and my recent concert at a favorite dive bar, I’ve committed to driving my friend home after the event so I’m impeded from alcohol. It requires post-concert time and is a nice chatter since it’s hard to talk (hear) in a loud bar. Mixed feelings. I love getting wasted and such a venue is perfect for getting wasted.

Personally, I like to be in control of myself. We had dinner last night at Miller’s Ale House. Normally I would order and drink two different beers before and during dinner. But I had donated blood earlier in the day and felt enough loss of control after one. TBH, Miller’s beer offerings are pretty pedestrian and I don’t think I could have found anything new on the menu to try anyway. No doubt we will be back at the local brewery tonight for one or two and they pretty consistently have a new beer on tap every Friday. And that’s why I drink - same reason I travel - for the sake of trying and tasting something new and different.

Had my first glass of wine in ~18 months, very rare bit of outdoor dining with family. What little tolerance I had is gone; enjoyed about the first half, the rest just made me sleepy.

It’s quite fun to be in self-control while wasted. 2-3 glasses max will do it. Maybe 2 :-)
I too enjoy new and different things despite liking the same things. I still try hard to order restaurant meals of things that I can’t yet cook at home.

Ditto - hotel house “free” Cabernet and Pinot Grigio. I’m getting 2 coupons per night and I want to use them. I got very enthusiastic about the menu for today’s luncheon as it includes wild game chili - something I’ve never had.

I'm fortunate in that I don't "enjoy" (or even know I feel) the reputed buzz alcohol gives one so I don't have any (signs of) addictive tendencies to it. I can easily stop drinking and not miss it (did it for a few weeks earlier this year when my wife wanted to dry out after X'mas) and also tend to abstain when off to a country where the stuff is bad and/or expensive (e.g., Thailand and Malaysia). I primarily drink wine, and almost always dry ones so there's a lot of stuff, primarily cheap and underfermented that I'd rather not drink.even if there was no alternative. Even so, I find I enjoy sharing 1/2l of wine rather than a full bttle (3/4l - though 1/2 is too little to be enjoyable). Beer, hardly ever. I've only bought 2 cans this year and it was meant for a beef carbonade. One was drunk during a heat wave (nearly 40C day) and the other is still in the fridge (never used the beef for carbonade). Again, I drink good beers or not at all (have never drunk many of the U.S. - or even domestic - mass-market beers)..Spirits, hard ever too.

I do pity those who have a predisposition to developing a physiological addiction to alcohol (or say, worst things such as nicotine, opiods, etc. - none of which I've tried and not in a hurry to ever try). I can't fathom the pain they go through.

what is the benefit of drinking alcohol if you don’t enjoy or feel any buzz from it? For me, The taste will NEVER be as pleasant as iced tea, coffee, certain sodas, or sparkling water. I drink water with all meals and it’s rare to have another beverage other than morning coffee.

Wine. You taste (and often with quite a bit of complexity - from the flavonoids), smell and even feel texture in your mouth. I usually don't drink anything other than dry wines as I can't stand any sweetness. I can't say I've ever tried dealcoholized wine but i imagine the fractional distillation process would likely not do the wines any favours.

As for soda, iced tea, coffee and sparkling water, I don't consume much sugar or other sweeteners (says the person with Kgs of fresh honey in the garden and buys dozens of Kgs of sugar to pour into wooden boxes in the same garden) so that's off except for unsweetened water (installed a chloramine filter that make the tap water much, much better). I bought two 6 packs of 710 ml (i.e., equivalent of 2 cans) Coca Cola in plastic bottles and was wondering why they were flat last year. I guess buying them 3 years ago doesn't help. Great for consumption during bike riding though.

Iced tea (and indeed tea in general) is best off without sweeteners (or any other additives); if it's bitter enough it isn't pleasant to drink without sweetener, it means it's overbrewed.

I know people who like coffee that way, and sparkling water (or seltzer) is generally distinguished from sodas specifically because it's unsweetened (and most often, unflavored, although flavored waters are certainly a thing as well.)

There's no accounting for taste. I don't enjoy wine or beer as much as many, but in their place some of them are every bit as enjoyable to me as the things you mentioned that I enjoy (basically, not coffee; there's no accounting for taste but that's one I truly don't get.)

I agree re: sweeteners. I guess living in cooler climes and culturally, I just prefer hot teas, which is usually crappily and weakly made in N. America for the most part. Black (I drink bulk Indian market tea, loose leaf) in the afternoon (or occasional morning) beverage and green only with appropriate meals (e.g., Chinese, Japanese). No tea bags, ever. Water is always refreshing (even the filtered tap water - the unfiltered leaves a nasty aftertaste) but offers little complexity. Also try not to contribute to plastic waste and the hassle of returning bottles for the deposit return (I'm cheap and want it all back on principle, which few places give)....

Everyone tastes things differently, or in some case have no capability to taste. e.g., I don't have the receptor(s) for whatever's in black truffles so that's totally wasted on me. My cats also don't have the receptor for cat nip.