Waiter not apologizing for mistakes
 

I wonder if others get annoyed when waiters don't apologize for things. These things are not necessarily their fault, like how I had no napkin/silverware today, but why should I be the only one in the restaurant with no place setting? How does them "allowing me" to take one from another table make it right? Should I go ahead and pick up my own food from the kitchen as well?

Did you make the server aware that you had no tools to eat with? And he told you to take them from the next table. Problem solved maybe but not the ideal solution.

I generally get apologies when the server is aware of any shortcomings: sorry you had to wait for a table, sorry your food took so long, sorry your beer is 30% foam. Sometimes that is accompanied by a small discount or free appetizer or dessert or drink. It goes a long way to soothe bad feelings.

Should they get on their knees and self -flagellate?
You have three options: 1) being gracious when mistakes happen, 2) reflecting it in your gratuity, and 3) not going back to a restaurant that doesn't meet your requirements and standards.

I'm not sure if there's a specific situation you're peeved about or if you're simply ranting about poor table service in general. Not being provided napkin or silverware is not poor service, per se. Often it's simply a small oversight. Being told to fix it yourself, though, is poor service.

Waiter not apologizing for mistakes
 

Let's be honest here, when was the last time a verbal apology from the waiter (as opposed to a manager or chef) has made up for a mistake/wrongdoing at a restaurant? Nowadays it's usually just a formality anyway. If you're dissatisfied with the service over something as trivial as that, then simply don't return to the restaurant. Is it really worth wasting a few bytes of FlyerTalk server space to complain about this?

I tend to agree with the other posters on here.
Consistently bad service from start to finish probably warrants a bit of a rant both on here and in the restaurant.
But minor stuff like this ? Life's too short.

You mean this isn't what FT is about?

No it's about complaining about planes, hotels, and credit cards, with a few can you help me thrown in

Isn't this part of what makes for a smaller tip?

Solution seems pretty simple to me.

The problem is there are quite a few posters on here who think a tip should be a standard amount no matter how poor the service is.

TIP-something (rich) people pay to (poor) people so they don't feel as bad.

Smaller tip is not the same thing as no tip.

Not in the US. Tip: part of how people make a living; an expected cost on top of menu price

Too many threads here devolve into pointless discussions over the custom of tipping. I wish more would stay on topic.

I am still curious if the OP was specifically asked to get his utensils from the next table or made that move on his own. What sort of restaurant was this? Where was it located?

Given that a reduction in tip is a rational response to waitstaff error, I think it's on topic.

Why is a waiter not apologizing any different from any other service person failing to apologize for an error? You can either get offended or move on. Moving on is healthier IMO and IME. Getting offended is of no use whatever.

(You shouldn't assume from this that I never get offended ... :o)

If you really want to get your point across, put in a smaller tip and write a short explanation of why you're tipping the way you are.

Maybe it'll go viral! (although maybe in the not-so-good way) ;)

(and no, I've never actually done this)

Perhaps I'm mistaken, but it would seem to me that a forum called DiningBuzz would have something to do with dining.

OP, if it's just silverware, not that big a deal.

Mike

Allow me to point out that this sub-forum is named none other than DiningBuzz. Edit: (Seems that Mike beat me to the punch on this point already)

Getting back on track, the OP brings up a curious point. It might be very awkward standing up and taking silverware off of another table. Depending on what type of dining establishment, you may have to endure the evil eyes of other diners. So if the waiter seemed a bit too nonchalant about the faux pas, I would also be somewhat peeved.

In my opinion, it's the little things that define superior service. One may say the OP is just being picky. However this small incident may be the difference between the OP thinking "Great Service!," or leaving with the thought, "It was fine, except for..." Having the expectation of great service is not being picky. Especially when it falls in the realm of failure to provide basic service, i.e. silverware.

Now if this happened at a lower middle to lower class sit-down establishment, I would probably just ignore it. (Although a mental note would be made.) And if the rest of the service was up to par would have just tipped the waiter in full. 15% of a cheap meal isn't going to hurt the pocket book. However at a higher end restaurant, where stuff like this just isn't supposed to happen, the tip is going to be lower (or a lot lower) depending. If the overall experience was bad enough, I simply may just not return.

I started walking towards the waitstaff, and said I didn't have any napkin (it was pizza, so I didn't really need utensils). She motioned for me to get it from the other table, coming over and grabbed it and handed it to me.

This was Grimaldi's in Tampa

And responding to the question re tip: I left a normal tip. I do wonder though, because you don't really want to "punish" the waitstaff but yet would love for them to be better. How do you do that? The only way to "show" it based on tip is to leave a cent, or something obvious (stating you know it is standard to tip, but you do not want to leave a real tip because of something). And yet these people aren't in the most glamorous/desirable jobs. Does that justify their incompetence?

This is mostly only an issue in non-high end restaurants. At a high-end restaurant I have absolutely no qualms about leaving a cent as tip if there is poor service.

In the US, I automatically expect to tip about 15%. If there are service issues, I discuss them with a manager.

About the only things that would reduce my tipping percentage would be hostility towards me or obviously ignoring me or a request.

In your case, I don't have high service expectations for a pizza joint so I probably wouldn't even take the time to let a manager know. And I'd probably still tip 15%.

Given the way servers wages are set up in most states - getting paid shouldn't really be discretionary. Keeping one's job, on the other hand...

Tampa. Pfft. Try asking for utensils with your pizza in New York. You may well get a hand signal much ruder than "Help yourself".

Eh, knocking a buck or two off where that's the difference between the usual ~15%-ish tip and say a 10-12% one isn't going to send any message, but it's not going to be stiffing them either, and for some customers it may make them feel better. Even more so for people who start at 18-20% and where the couple of bucks off probably still has them somewhere in teh ballpark of 15%.

As for leaving a cent, or not tipping, if it's that bad IMO (and as work2fly already said) the best approach is to ask for the manager -- ideally at the time the errors are starting to pile up, not at the end of the meal.

The posts you're quoting and insulting are from before this thread was moved to Dining Buzz.

If I'm the manager or owner of this restaurant, I want to hear about incidents like this so I can better train my staff.

Where was this thread before Dining Buzz?

I don't see where this thread was moved from another forum as the moderator who moves the thread makes a post about doing so. Please point out where it was posted that it was moved.

I may be mistaken about that,but it is incorrect that a moderator always makes a post about doing so. I don't ever frequent Dining Buzz and I saw the initial post and responded to it. But perhaps I'm wrong. Note the snark against a fellow community member came 4 days after the post that appeared so troubling. Shrug. I guess the people who get upset about such things are the same ones who expect groveling waiters at pizza places.

Snarky? Insulting? Adam1222, I'm not sure how you came to that conclusion. But if you have a well thought out response to the bulk of my post, which was about the OP's experience, please do share. Otherwise let's stay on topic and leave the hyperbole + personal attacks alone.