Funny story about Malort. Which is a truly terrible spirit.

I got to try it at a John Hodgman show. He brings several bottles of the stuff and passes it around. By the time it gets to you it is more backwash than drink. But still awful.

I'm shocked no one has mentioned Chocolate Wine! Wine with the consistency of milk, with none of the redeeming qualities of either one.

DJ

Stella beer in Egypt. I bought the t-shirt. It says, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger. Drink Stella beer!"

Then there's Omar Khayam white wine also in Egypt. Paint thinner with Kool-Aid would be an improvement.

Becherovka & Why the Diss for Islay Single Malts?
 

Currently at a conference in Prague. I had forgotten quite how vile Becherovka herb liqueur was until I was invited to try a shot before dinner. As an aid to digestion, it works best in reverse!
For all the Islay haters on this forum I took a special side trip from Glasgow to Islay prior to a conference. The flight on a 24 seater turbo-prop is spectacular and the whiskies from Laphroaig, Bowmore and Bruichladdich even better on site.
We stayed in the same B&B as the Thirsty Traveler, Kevin Brauch, and had dinner in a restaurant with over 200 single malts.
I own a square meter of Islay, thanks to Laphroaig, and would love to go back there. Anyone who hates Islay single malts, Lagavullin, Ardbeg and Bunnahabhain is welcome to send them my way. I'd also accept Jura, Talisker and Highland Park from islands other than Islay.

Eric
Durban

Late to this thread, but my worst drink was quite memorable. I was in the French quarter in NO, and asked a bartender for his best personal drink. I rarely order from the menu. What I ended up with was some sort of martini concoction that had olives, vodka, pickling juice, and possibly some jalapeno juice. I choked it down and made a note never to return to this restaurant. That is the first and only time I have ever been burned by that request.

I'm sorry you brought this up. I get sick just thinking about Yoohoo and you reminded me of it. Now I have a mess to clean up ...

Not sure if it is the worst thing I have ever had, but I was recently caught off guard by how truly vile of a beer Sam Adams Thirteenth Hour was. I was rather expecting to like it, the description being:

In actuality, it tasked like rotten vegetables mixed with blood and vinegar. Absolutely vulgar swill.

Claymore. The finest scotch I've ever purchased at 25p the bottle.

In Luxemburg they have this very strong alcoholic drink "Gratte cul", translation: "scratch arse"
That's exactly what it does from your mouth all the way down :p

Home Brew Beer. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's the farthest thing from good and you're trying to find a bush to pour it out into.

I agree, including my own. I once made the mistake of giving someone a bottle without trying it myself first. I wanted to recall it but it was too late. he told me it was "interesting". I guess interesting means flat.

Dollar Margarita Night, at a NYC bar yet. Might have been gasoline since that was cheap back then.

I actually tasted three different pumpkin beers at a Bevmo once while they had a tasting going on. They basically went, super strong pumpkin flavor, medium pumpkin flavor, low pumpkin flavor. I didn't mind the latter two, but the first was a bit too much.

I haven't had the Beam Maple, but someone did buy me a shot of Crown Royal Maple. Cannot say that I'd ever drink that sickly sweet stuff again. There's about a million flavors of vodka available now too, and I think they all sound awful. Birthday cake flavored? Cinnabon? Whipped cream? All of those flavors are made by Three Olives which makes it bittersweet for me as I really enjoy regular Three Olives vodka.

Smoked Salmon Flavored Vodka
 

Smoked salmon flavored vodka from a distillery here in Alaska.
Tastes like a drunken, seasick fishing trip.

That sounds terrible.

I think we have a misunderstanding of what vodka is supposed to be.

It seems like distillers are treating vodka like tofu or tilapia. It has no flavor, therefore flavor must be added. I seldom drink it and on the rare occasions I do, collins mix is enough of an addition.