Where Should We Eat: The Flowchart
 

That's fantastic :D

So, how do you get to The French Laundry? ;)

Gotta love the 'are you in England?' part. One answer. Simple

(that said, I kinda like Wagamama :))

Or, how do you get to El Bulli for the dinner? :D

You could have warned us that this was the chain restaurant edition.
I don't like Wagamama (although it was fine before it became a chain) but it seems to be in the same league as its US brethren.

I do like the fast food version:
http://eatingtheroad.wordpress.com/2...ion-flowchart/
The "are you in Canada?" question is also very apt. :)

Of course I have to add the Cereal flow chart

"Do you care about the roof of your mouth?" :D

No Subway on the first? Cruising down the road, I'm most apt to find something quick and healthy. In the last 3 years of travel, I've eaten at exactly 4 of those places. The are you obese option should push you away from pretty much all of those places. The portions at either are more than even people who exercise need. Were I to hit a restaurant, it is pretty likely that it is not a chain.

I did like the Canadian reference in the second. They should have a do you smoke question. The answer to which would be to have a cigarette instead and keep driving. Dairy Queen should also be tied to a, "Will you eat ice cream for dinner" question.

The fast food version worked for me. It led me straight to Wendy's, which is my prefered fast food on those rare occasions when I have no other choice.

I liked the "Have you shopped in the last year" better. It's amazing that I actually have those cereals in my house and i haven't bought cereal for like 9 months.

That had me laughing, thanks OP! ^

Wow, that's uncanny. I always have Honey Bunches of Oats, just like it told me I should. And being in Canada, I didn't realize there were fast food joints other than Tim Horton's.

I'm apparently pretentious.

I profoundly disagree
 

White Castle works for drunk too.

Also works if you're neither, but are up after 3AM and too broke for Denny's.

Are you a ninja? ^^

I looked at all of these, and they're absolutely hysterical. My favorite line, like pseudoswede, is "Do you care about the roof of your mouth?"

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Or drunk, high, broke and up after 3 AM as well. Not that I know from firsthand experience mind you. I read about somewhere. ;)

Also works in the middle of the afternoon when you just want a slider.

In all fairness, the answer to the question from a culinary standpoint should be "Leave!"

Drunk chowing at Sizzler? I would've chosen Dennys or Waffle House. :D