Hartsfield Atlanta International Airport: The Center of Hell
Jun 16, 2003, 9:40 pm
#1
Original Poster
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 3,748
Hartsfield Atlanta International Airport: The Center of Hell
http://www.somethingawful.com/
The article's currently at the top under the heading Hartsfield Atlanta International Airport: The Center of Hell. It’s position will change as new articles are added. Be warned that the other content on the website can be tasteless.
Excerpt:
No matter where or when you decide to travel, you will invariably be forced to travel through the Atlanta International Airport regardless of Atlanta's proximity to your final destination. If you're traveling from Los Angeles to Seattle, you will be forced to stop in Atlanta. If you go out hiking and decide to swim down a stream, you'll invariably encounter the Atlanta International Airport midway through your journey. If you try to pick a friend up from the Denver airport, travel officials will forcibly pull you out of your car and throw you on a plane bound for Atlanta. Every form of transportation everywhere goes through Atlanta's airport, and when the Earth is nothing but a charred lump of clay 1,000 years from now, the only remnant of our glorious civilization will be the hulking remains of the Atlanta airport, which will be used by a super-intelligent race of centipede monster aliens who inexplicably have to stop there on their daily commute from Neptune to Pluto.
- - -
DELTA AIRLINES EXECUTIVE: "Hmmm, it says here on the chart that we have 238 people booked on a plane that only has 150 seats. Is this a problem?"
DELTA AIRLINES ENGINEER: "No."
DELTA AIRLINES EXECUTIVE: "Well I don't know what we're going to do, how can we fit 238 people on a plane with 150 seats? Do you know?"
DELTA AIRLINES ENGINEER: "No."
DELTA AIRLINES EXECUTIVE: "Let's go get drunk with the pilots."
DELTA AIRLINES ENGINEER: "Okay."
[This message has been edited by IndustrialPatent (edited 06-16-2003).]
The article's currently at the top under the heading Hartsfield Atlanta International Airport: The Center of Hell. It’s position will change as new articles are added. Be warned that the other content on the website can be tasteless.
Excerpt:
No matter where or when you decide to travel, you will invariably be forced to travel through the Atlanta International Airport regardless of Atlanta's proximity to your final destination. If you're traveling from Los Angeles to Seattle, you will be forced to stop in Atlanta. If you go out hiking and decide to swim down a stream, you'll invariably encounter the Atlanta International Airport midway through your journey. If you try to pick a friend up from the Denver airport, travel officials will forcibly pull you out of your car and throw you on a plane bound for Atlanta. Every form of transportation everywhere goes through Atlanta's airport, and when the Earth is nothing but a charred lump of clay 1,000 years from now, the only remnant of our glorious civilization will be the hulking remains of the Atlanta airport, which will be used by a super-intelligent race of centipede monster aliens who inexplicably have to stop there on their daily commute from Neptune to Pluto.
- - -
DELTA AIRLINES EXECUTIVE: "Hmmm, it says here on the chart that we have 238 people booked on a plane that only has 150 seats. Is this a problem?"
DELTA AIRLINES ENGINEER: "No."
DELTA AIRLINES EXECUTIVE: "Well I don't know what we're going to do, how can we fit 238 people on a plane with 150 seats? Do you know?"
DELTA AIRLINES ENGINEER: "No."
DELTA AIRLINES EXECUTIVE: "Let's go get drunk with the pilots."
DELTA AIRLINES ENGINEER: "Okay."
[This message has been edited by IndustrialPatent (edited 06-16-2003).]
Jun 16, 2003, 10:18 pm
#2
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: SAN Diego (Hillcrest); formerly LEXington, KY; still like the nym
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GG & I have managed to avoid this for 5 months.
What are you trying to do, ruin our therapy?
What are you trying to do, ruin our therapy?
Jun 16, 2003, 10:39 pm
#3
In Memoriam, FlyerTalk Evangelist
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IndustrialPatent..thanks for the post. Prior to you excerpting the article, I copied your whole post and sent it to my ATL buddies......with a big 
!!
!!
Jun 17, 2003, 4:02 am
#4
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That was amusing, but it got me thinking: When was I last in ATL? So I checked my records, and the answer is February 3 -- more than 4 months ago -- on my way home from New Orleans. I bet it's been more than 10 years since I went so long without visiting ATL! My next expected visit will be in November, when I will pass through on an award ticket.
Of course, now I'm getting REAL familiar with Chicago O'Hare -- on United! Delta hasn't lost me forever yet, but they can't wait too much longer to roll back some of those SkyMiles changes that are in the works.
Bruce
Of course, now I'm getting REAL familiar with Chicago O'Hare -- on United! Delta hasn't lost me forever yet, but they can't wait too much longer to roll back some of those SkyMiles changes that are in the works.
Bruce
Jun 17, 2003, 11:05 am
#5
Original Member
Join Date: May 1998
Location: Niceville, FL, USA
Posts: 2,793
I'd not put too much faith in that article's objectivity.
I think the author must have actually been in Hartsfield at some point, and this has biased him against it!
P.S. Also note the inaccuracy of the schematic of Concourse C. It purports to be all of Concourse C, but is clearly only the ASA half of it...
I think the author must have actually been in Hartsfield at some point, and this has biased him against it!
P.S. Also note the inaccuracy of the schematic of Concourse C. It purports to be all of Concourse C, but is clearly only the ASA half of it...
Jun 17, 2003, 1:09 pm
#6
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As I sit here in concourse A Crown Room enduring my 3 hr layover (to get BE eqpt to SFO) ,it seems poetic.
Jun 17, 2003, 2:32 pm
#7
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Atlanta, GA - AirTran Elite #1 FF * Delta Diamond Medallion * Starwood Platinum * PriorityClub Gold * Hilton Diamond
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It could be worse . . . last week I saw a Delta employee directing someone to Concorce F by mistake. That poor soul was found wandering around I-75 with their luggage weeks later.
Jun 17, 2003, 3:23 pm
#8
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<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by JoeFlyer:
It could be worse . . . last week I saw a Delta employee directing someone to Concorce F by mistake. That poor soul was found wandering around I-75 with their luggage weeks later.</font>
It could be worse . . . last week I saw a Delta employee directing someone to Concorce F by mistake. That poor soul was found wandering around I-75 with their luggage weeks later.</font>
Jun 17, 2003, 3:43 pm
#9
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Phila Delta ex-PM, ex-UA-PE
Posts: 2,659
I flew AirTran 2 weeks ago PHL-ATL-FLL, and ATL is a VASTLY different airport when you only have to walk 2 gates to your connecting flight vs trek from one end of a concourse to the center, down to the trains, over to another concourse, then up and over. Also, at least on my route to FLL, ATL is really not that far out of the way.
I still remember about 15 years, way before I was knew about FT or mileage runs, going from PHL to MCO that went via CVG, now that seemed like a STUPID routing, go West instead of south. And yes, back then it was a Delta flight.
Jeff
I still remember about 15 years, way before I was knew about FT or mileage runs, going from PHL to MCO that went via CVG, now that seemed like a STUPID routing, go West instead of south. And yes, back then it was a Delta flight.
Jeff
Jun 17, 2003, 4:04 pm
#10
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you know what they say ...
D - does
E - everything
L - leave
T - through
A - atlanta
D - does
E - everything
L - leave
T - through
A - atlanta
Jun 17, 2003, 4:40 pm
#11
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: AUS DL PM MM, HH LTD
Posts: 1,852
I've only been connecting in ATL for around six years. No matter how much I grumble about those MCO-ATL flights arriving in E and having to run to A, it is still far better than ORD, DFW, DEN, and IAD.
marc
marc
Jun 17, 2003, 5:00 pm
#12
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: New York
Posts: 135
I agree that there are worse airports than ATL. Even if it is big, the walks can be good for you. Above all, however, the best feature at ATL is in concourse A: Paschal's (for great southern food). But has it reopened from the remodeling yet?
Jun 17, 2003, 5:16 pm
#13
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<font face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif" size="2">Originally posted by jwhite4:
I flew AirTran 2 weeks ago PHL-ATL-FLL, and ATL is a VASTLY different airport when you only have to walk 2 gates to your connecting flight vs trek from one end of a concourse to the center, down to the trains, over to another concourse, then up and over. </font>
I flew AirTran 2 weeks ago PHL-ATL-FLL, and ATL is a VASTLY different airport when you only have to walk 2 gates to your connecting flight vs trek from one end of a concourse to the center, down to the trains, over to another concourse, then up and over. </font>
Jun 17, 2003, 5:47 pm
#14
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Going through Atlanta earlier this year, I thought that I would have to do the whole tram thing, but it was just the next gate down! Then I had quite a lot of time to kill before my next flight, or at least a lot more than I expected. But I had a bit of a walk on the way back through CVG.
Jun 17, 2003, 6:28 pm
#15
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: AUS DL PM MM, HH LTD
Posts: 1,852
Paschal's is great!! However, I am now on a diet so I go to the wrap place a few stands down for an absolutely wonderful salad with grilled chicken. Fantastic for less than $5.
One advantage of losing the MD-11s and 777s out of MCO is now our flights are in A (763) or T (764) so no more hikes to E.
marc
One advantage of losing the MD-11s and 777s out of MCO is now our flights are in A (763) or T (764) so no more hikes to E.
marc