kipper

Grace had her doggy daycare evaluation and flunked, through no fault of her own. The rescue administered her bordatella and distemper vaccinations, and they won't accept those. They require them to be given by a vet.

MSPeconomist

It's National Engineers Week.

ATOBTTR

No celebrations though since engineers don’t go out for wild parties.

How can you tell you’re talking to an extroverted engineer?
They look at your shoes when you’re talking to them.

An optimist sees the glass as half-full. A pessimist sees the glass as half-empty. An engineer sees the glass as being twice as big as it needs to be.

Aerospace engineers build modern, state-of-the-art weapons systems and the platforms to deliver them. Civil engineers build the targets.

jrl767

two electrical engineering students met in an antenna theory class, began dating, and eventually got married ... the wedding wasn't much, but the reception was outstanding

ATOBTTR

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

SuperG1955

An EE's around?
Was the music provide by the 2 Meter Band? Wondering about frequency, was it their first weddings. Questions to reflect on, propagation theory - how many kids were they planning on?

jrl767 - one good groan deserves some others.(not as good though)

jrl767

nope; major was in Mechanical & Aero, minor in Theoretical & Applied Mechanics

El Boocho

lol. I guess in my world that would be like majoring in financial and cost accounting with a minor in tax and audit.

Zorak

GROAN
I'm fond of:


"the difference between digital engineers and analog engineers is that the analog engineers KNOW when they're designing an antenna"

jrl767

that's excellent!

and of course in the software world there are only 10 kinds of engineers: those who understand binary and those who don't

ATOBTTR

“The universe revolves around engineers because they set the coordinate system”.


Three engineers were arguing over what type of engineer God was when he designed the human body.
“God must be a mechanical engineer,” says the first. “Just look at the joints in the human body."
“No,” say’s the second man. “God must be an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system."
“You’re both wrong,” says the third man. "God has to be a civil engineer.”
“Why’s that?” ask the other two men.
“Well who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?"


Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. Now, I'd say I'm pretty sure it's 2, but we'd better make it 3 just to be safe.

Zorak

Another one goes something like, only a hardware engineer would use the same tube for two different inputs and say "screw it, we'll work around the problem in the firmware"

Cholula

navi_jen

Barn burners all

Although I joke....I know from real life that my colleagues can drink me under a table, so perhaps, behind a lengthy degree can lurk the soul of a partyboy...

navi_jen

Oh. my. My stepfather would have loved this joke (He was a lawyer who often told inappropriate jokes, sometimes to his clients).