Proper Ettiquete?
Aug 2, 2018, 8:29 pm
#16
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: HSV
Programs: Bellevue Lifetime Premiere Mega Elite Supreme
Posts: 1,506
I think it is your loss because you got a middle seat. Next time fly first class or be prepared to deal with this sort of thing: coach class people are gross.
You are very welcome to meet them in grossness, sneeze in their food and participate in the conversation, give marriage advice, etc. That’s what happens in coach anyway. Don’t worry about étiquette (this is how to spell it, there is no alternative). Etiquette (note there is no accent when you capitalize) belongs to the other side of the curtain and then... probably not on a US airline.
You are very welcome to meet them in grossness, sneeze in their food and participate in the conversation, give marriage advice, etc. That’s what happens in coach anyway. Don’t worry about étiquette (this is how to spell it, there is no alternative). Etiquette (note there is no accent when you capitalize) belongs to the other side of the curtain and then... probably not on a US airline.
Dammit! I can't stop!
Aug 2, 2018, 8:32 pm
#18
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Programs: DL Diamond 1.7MM, Starlux Insighter, Bonvoy Titanium, Hilton Gold, Hertz PC
Posts: 3,944
Mrs. BenA and I always book Aisle/Window or Aisle/Aisle when we're stuck in 3-abreast Y. Neither of us is willing to suffer a middle seat, and we value the comfort our elite status entitles us to a lot more than a few hours of conversation. We almost always book separate PNRs now, because being on the same reservation sometimes resulted in gate agents being "helpful" and stuffing one of us in the middle in the past.
My take on the etiquette from the other side - the middle seat should never expect to switch. I'm not miffed by a single request, but I will always politely decline it, and will expect the other passenger to drop the issue afterwards. In exchange, the middle seat occupant should expect the couple to be respectful and minimize the amount of object passing. Once or twice at the beginning or end of the flight are reasonable (especially if the aisle person is retrieving a bag from the overhead for the window person so the middle doesn't need to get out of their seat). And, similarly, an occasional sentence or two is also reasonable, once or twice during the flight.
But that should be the extent of it, and one of the things you're recognizing when you choose a seating configuration like this is that you're going to experience the flight as a single passenger. In particular, we expect that if we have anything substantial to say to each other, it will be over free in flight messaging. (Often, a passed object from the overhead bin silently after coordinating over text is the first time a middle seat occupant realizes we're together, in fact.)
For OP, the seating arrangement of a couple booking aisle/window is totally normal and shouldn't attract any ire. The etiquette breach is frequently passing objects back and forth; a gentle and polite "It seems like you have a lot of (items conversation) you need to share, and I feel like I'm caught in the middle. Would you like me to hop up for a minute so you can get settled more easily, or could I swap seats with one of you to make that process easier?" should result in either an apology/modified behavior or an offer to switch from all but the most hardened folks.
Just my $0.02.
My take on the etiquette from the other side - the middle seat should never expect to switch. I'm not miffed by a single request, but I will always politely decline it, and will expect the other passenger to drop the issue afterwards. In exchange, the middle seat occupant should expect the couple to be respectful and minimize the amount of object passing. Once or twice at the beginning or end of the flight are reasonable (especially if the aisle person is retrieving a bag from the overhead for the window person so the middle doesn't need to get out of their seat). And, similarly, an occasional sentence or two is also reasonable, once or twice during the flight.
But that should be the extent of it, and one of the things you're recognizing when you choose a seating configuration like this is that you're going to experience the flight as a single passenger. In particular, we expect that if we have anything substantial to say to each other, it will be over free in flight messaging. (Often, a passed object from the overhead bin silently after coordinating over text is the first time a middle seat occupant realizes we're together, in fact.)
For OP, the seating arrangement of a couple booking aisle/window is totally normal and shouldn't attract any ire. The etiquette breach is frequently passing objects back and forth; a gentle and polite "It seems like you have a lot of (items conversation) you need to share, and I feel like I'm caught in the middle. Would you like me to hop up for a minute so you can get settled more easily, or could I swap seats with one of you to make that process easier?" should result in either an apology/modified behavior or an offer to switch from all but the most hardened folks.
Just my $0.02.
Aug 2, 2018, 8:32 pm
#19
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Nov 2009
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Aug 2, 2018, 8:37 pm
#20
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Programs: DL Diamond 1.7MM, Starlux Insighter, Bonvoy Titanium, Hilton Gold, Hertz PC
Posts: 3,944
What are they passing? I fly with my wife a lot next to me but can’t think of anything we have passed to each other. Generally we board, head phone up, and take after we land. If she wants something she better have brought it. :-)
About the only reason we sit next to each other is because she does not feel bad making me get up for a trip to the lav.
About the only reason we sit next to each other is because she does not feel bad making me get up for a trip to the lav.
Other than that, I agree - if she wants something she better have brought it!
Aug 2, 2018, 8:40 pm
#21
Suspended
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: MEM
Programs: Starbucks Green Card
Posts: 5,431
I think it is your loss because you got a middle seat. Next time fly first class or be prepared to deal with this sort of thing: coach class people are gross.
You are very welcome to meet them in grossness, sneeze in their food and participate in the conversation, give marriage advice, etc. That’s what happens in coach anyway. Don’t worry about étiquette (this is how to spell it, there is no alternative). Etiquette (note there is no accent when you capitalize) belongs to the other side of the curtain and then... probably not on a US airline.
You are very welcome to meet them in grossness, sneeze in their food and participate in the conversation, give marriage advice, etc. That’s what happens in coach anyway. Don’t worry about étiquette (this is how to spell it, there is no alternative). Etiquette (note there is no accent when you capitalize) belongs to the other side of the curtain and then... probably not on a US airline.
[x] xxxtreme elitism
[x] even more elitism
strong contender for most odious post in flyertalk history
Aug 2, 2018, 10:33 pm
#24
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: HSV
Programs: Bellevue Lifetime Premiere Mega Elite Supreme
Posts: 1,506
Or, perhaps, I'm reading too much into it and giving him/her too much credit? ;-)
Aug 2, 2018, 11:23 pm
#25
Join Date: Mar 2010
Programs: DL PM, Bonvoy Gold
Posts: 8,414
Mrs. BenA and I always book Aisle/Window or Aisle/Aisle when we're stuck in 3-abreast Y. Neither of us is willing to suffer a middle seat, and we value the comfort our elite status entitles us to a lot more than a few hours of conversation. We almost always book separate PNRs now, because being on the same reservation sometimes resulted in gate agents being "helpful" and stuffing one of us in the middle in the past.
My take on the etiquette from the other side - the middle seat should never expect to switch. I'm not miffed by a single request, but I will always politely decline it, and will expect the other passenger to drop the issue afterwards. In exchange, the middle seat occupant should expect the couple to be respectful and minimize the amount of object passing. Once or twice at the beginning or end of the flight are reasonable (especially if the aisle person is retrieving a bag from the overhead for the window person so the middle doesn't need to get out of their seat). And, similarly, an occasional sentence or two is also reasonable, once or twice during the flight.
But that should be the extent of it, and one of the things you're recognizing when you choose a seating configuration like this is that you're going to experience the flight as a single passenger. In particular, we expect that if we have anything substantial to say to each other, it will be over free in flight messaging. (Often, a passed object from the overhead bin silently after coordinating over text is the first time a middle seat occupant realizes we're together, in fact.)
For OP, the seating arrangement of a couple booking aisle/window is totally normal and shouldn't attract any ire. The etiquette breach is frequently passing objects back and forth; a gentle and polite "It seems like you have a lot of (items conversation) you need to share, and I feel like I'm caught in the middle. Would you like me to hop up for a minute so you can get settled more easily, or could I swap seats with one of you to make that process easier?" should result in either an apology/modified behavior or an offer to switch from all but the most hardened folks.
Just my $0.02.
My take on the etiquette from the other side - the middle seat should never expect to switch. I'm not miffed by a single request, but I will always politely decline it, and will expect the other passenger to drop the issue afterwards. In exchange, the middle seat occupant should expect the couple to be respectful and minimize the amount of object passing. Once or twice at the beginning or end of the flight are reasonable (especially if the aisle person is retrieving a bag from the overhead for the window person so the middle doesn't need to get out of their seat). And, similarly, an occasional sentence or two is also reasonable, once or twice during the flight.
But that should be the extent of it, and one of the things you're recognizing when you choose a seating configuration like this is that you're going to experience the flight as a single passenger. In particular, we expect that if we have anything substantial to say to each other, it will be over free in flight messaging. (Often, a passed object from the overhead bin silently after coordinating over text is the first time a middle seat occupant realizes we're together, in fact.)
For OP, the seating arrangement of a couple booking aisle/window is totally normal and shouldn't attract any ire. The etiquette breach is frequently passing objects back and forth; a gentle and polite "It seems like you have a lot of (items conversation) you need to share, and I feel like I'm caught in the middle. Would you like me to hop up for a minute so you can get settled more easily, or could I swap seats with one of you to make that process easier?" should result in either an apology/modified behavior or an offer to switch from all but the most hardened folks.
Just my $0.02.
I hear you, and of course it's your right to sit this way. However, to be honest, the moment I realize I am seated between a couple I'm gonna think it's weird and feel a little uncomfortable, regardless of how polite they are. My husband and I would never sit that way, we like each other too much.
Aug 3, 2018, 12:40 am
#26
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: LAX
Programs: Fallen DL DM (PM) 2MM
Posts: 4,783
I'm with @BenA -- She Who Must Be Obeys wants a window and I want an aisle -- works on some planes, other there is a middle. We've spent 35+ years together and a few hours not talking to each other is not a problem -- we've both got headphones on anyway. Sometimes the middle person doesn't even realize we are together until we arrive.
Aug 3, 2018, 2:34 am
#27
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Join Date: Jul 2003
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Question to the forum. Was "upgraded" to Comfort+ in the middle seat. A couple had seats on aisle and window. They proceeded to pass things back and forth on the plane quite often and talked to each other. I know they have the right to do so, but what it typical proper etiquette? I would have thought that its ok to plan aisle and window and if someone shows up to move so you can be together and not have someone hear things back and forth.
It is what it is, but just like to hear thoughts
It is what it is, but just like to hear thoughts
*on many overseas flts these are distributed free by FAs.
Aug 3, 2018, 7:40 am
#28
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I'm with @BenA -- She Who Must Be Obeys wants a window and I want an aisle -- works on some planes, other there is a middle. We've spent 35+ years together and a few hours not talking to each other is not a problem -- we've both got headphones on anyway. Sometimes the middle person doesn't even realize we are together until we arrive.
In the beginning I would take the middle so she could have the window and be together. Then one glorious day I realized we didn't need to be attached at the hip (almost literally) during flight so now I just take the aisle. Sometimes we're not even in the same row.
Turns out we always manage to meet back up after deplaning.
Aug 3, 2018, 7:43 am
#29
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Somewhere
Programs: Delta Plat
Posts: 3,363
I think it is your loss because you got a middle seat. Next time fly first class or be prepared to deal with this sort of thing: coach class people are gross.
You are very welcome to meet them in grossness, sneeze in their food and participate in the conversation, give marriage advice, etc. That’s what happens in coach anyway. Don’t worry about étiquette (this is how to spell it, there is no alternative). Etiquette (note there is no accent when you capitalize) belongs to the other side of the curtain and then... probably not on a US airline.
You are very welcome to meet them in grossness, sneeze in their food and participate in the conversation, give marriage advice, etc. That’s what happens in coach anyway. Don’t worry about étiquette (this is how to spell it, there is no alternative). Etiquette (note there is no accent when you capitalize) belongs to the other side of the curtain and then... probably not on a US airline.
