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Seat Swapping, Seat Poaching and Seating Etiquette: The Definitive Thread

Old Jul 14, 2015, 2:48 pm
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Last edit by: BadgerBoi
The Definitive Guide to Seat Poaching

1. Don't do it.
2. Alternatively to #1: Asking politely (and not demanding) to swap for an equal or better seat is acceptable by most (but the final decision always lays with the original seat holder)...but, be warned, some FT'ers may breathe fire at you.
3. Keep in mind that Point 2 is not seat poaching.
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Seat Swapping, Seat Poaching and Seating Etiquette: The Definitive Thread

Old Oct 12, 2017, 7:01 pm
  #1606  
 
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Originally Posted by Fleck
In Ear Monitors. Stick them in your ears.

If anyone but an employee attempts to engage, one simply dismisses with a shoo-fly gesture of the hand and a grunt. The grunt should say,"move on." There need not be annoyance in your grunt. Grunt with no malice. An insulting grunt is not your goal. Practice in the mirror. Strive for a grunt that kills hope but no more.
A little add-on tip for the above. Just in case you must engage.

YA ne govoryu po-angliyski

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Old Oct 12, 2017, 7:05 pm
  #1607  
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Originally Posted by GatorBlues
In claiming that they've never been asked politely to switch, some of our posters are being disingenuous, are incredibly unlucky, or are hyper-prone to be offended.
or, a slightly less harsh interpretation, merely circular in their reasoning. I mean, if someone honestly believes that the request in and of itself is impolite, then by definition they have never received a polite request.

I find this point of view to be wack-a-doo, but I suppose it has an internal consistency.

If multiple pages and a moderator timeout haven't caused anyone to reconsider their views, maybe we should just move on and wait for the next story:

Overheard on DTW-BWI today: I'm in 3D, someone else in 2D. Another pax arrives and says "we seem to have been assigned the same seat! 2D?" 2D* says no, I'm in 2C, I just made a mistake." He said this in a way that I didn't find particularly convincing, but it didn't involve me, and the real 2D didn't seem to care at all, as it was a short flight and as he pointed out it was going to be overcast pretty much the whole way.
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Old Oct 12, 2017, 9:52 pm
  #1608  
 
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I purchase my seat usually 6-8 weeks in advance (weekly travel). If you want my seat, purchase it before I do. I have absolutely no interest in swapping seats for any reason. Lastly, as a certifiable germaphobe, I have already spent 2 wipes cleaning the arm rests, trays and belts by the time I'm asked for a swap. I'm already vested in my seat!
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Old Oct 13, 2017, 12:30 am
  #1609  
 
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Originally Posted by Zorak
or, a slightly less harsh interpretation, merely circular in their reasoning. I mean, if someone honestly believes that the request in and of itself is impolite, then by definition they have never received a polite request.
The same, rather childish, argument can be said about those who argue it is never impolite to ask a favour of anyone either.
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Old Oct 13, 2017, 6:52 am
  #1610  
 
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Originally Posted by PTravel
My price for a seat swap from F to Y is $10,000.
Are you buying paid First on every flight? If not, you don't REALLY place $10k in value on being in F vs. Y.
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Old Oct 13, 2017, 7:01 am
  #1611  
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Originally Posted by cestmoi123
Are you buying paid First on every flight? If not, you don't REALLY place $10k in value on being in F vs. Y.
There can be a difference between the extra amount one is willing to pay for FC (versus coach) at the time of ticket purchase and what one is willing to accept to move after boarding from the selected FC seat to some random seat (assume middle seat at the rear of the aircraft) in coach, especially if it's a case where a meal will be served in FC but it's too late to purchase food to consume on board, to bring one's own pillow and blanket, etc.
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Old Oct 13, 2017, 7:33 am
  #1612  
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Originally Posted by theddo
The same, rather childish, argument can be said about those who argue it is never impolite to ask a favour of anyone either.
That's valid, but I think most of society disagrees.

EDIT: I don't mean that all requests are automatically polite. Some can certainly be made impolitely. But then we're no longer really talking about asking a favor but making a demand.

Last edited by Zorak; Oct 13, 2017 at 8:17 am
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Old Oct 13, 2017, 8:23 am
  #1613  
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Originally Posted by cestmoi123
Are you buying paid First on every flight? If not, you don't REALLY place $10k in value on being in F vs. Y.
No, I don't buy paid first on every flight.

That's not the value I place on being in being in F vs. Y. That's the price for me to give up an F seat and move to Y seat. These are two different things, entirely. Also, I picked a number that I thought most everyone on FT would agree made it worth changing seats. The point was that, to me, it didn't matter at all if the person asking was rude. My actual number is, of course, lower, though, honestly, I couldn't see going much below $1,000. It would, of course, depend on the flight, but I would never, for example, accept a couple of hundred dollars, even a short flight.
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Old Oct 13, 2017, 8:34 am
  #1614  
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Originally Posted by MEMLawGuy
But your justification of saying no because all requests are impolite because they somehow "impose" on you is totally bogus.

In fact, if the imposition is that you want to "stay where you are and remain settled" because it's "easier", then you should welcome the exact situation I posed, with one minor modification, --- you approach 3C only to see someone already there and they politely ask you before you get to the seat if you wouldn't mind taking 2C so they can sit with their travel companion. Look at that! You don't have to move any further. You save steps. You don't even have to get up and then sit back down. Now that's "easier." But you're saying you're going to say no because THAT request is an imposition on you?

Unless you are diagnosed OCD or have some superstition about sitting in 3C that you must appease (and maybe you do, and that's certainly a legit reason -- but not what you've said), then refusing the request simply because it was made is, IMHO, rather petty and baseless. But if that's how you want to treat people, have at it. You know what they say...
I don't have to justify refusing to give up what is mine. I don't even have to have a good reason. I have the BP...end of story.

As to your hypothetical, if I booked 3C, I am sitting in it. Especially if someone has the impudence to poach the seat so they can sit next to their adult companion. Grownups can be apart and it won't kill them. In that case, it is worth spending the extra energy to upset the poacher and enjoy their steaming glares at me for having the gall to keep MY seat.
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Old Oct 13, 2017, 10:57 am
  #1615  
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Originally Posted by Proudelitist
As to your hypothetical, if I booked 3C, I am sitting in it. Especially if someone has the impudence to poach the seat so they can sit next to their adult companion. Grownups can be apart and it won't kill them. In that case, it is worth spending the extra energy to upset the poacher and enjoy their steaming glares at me for having the gall to keep MY seat.
I realize I'm probably wasting my effort typing but the "adults can be apart for a few hours" argument is a bit of a presumption in that you assume they'll be "reunited" on landing. When I was dating my wife, we lived in separate parts of the country for a while and would often travel together, and we'd meet up at our connecting points (hub) to travel together on one of the flights, and then the opposite on our return. In other words, our flight might actually be our last few hours together before parting ways and I'm simply pointing out that the reasoning so many on here use to justify not wanting to swap isn't always the case for everyone.

Of course I realize part of your mantra is probablt being an internet tough guy. Who knows if you're really his combative on the actual plane. While I've had people refuse swap requests and while I've both accepted and denied swap requests, I've rarely had it be as nasty as so many on here try to present how they seem to find it every time. In my 15 years of active flying, I can only recall about 2 incidents where someone poached my/our seats and were nasty about it and only 1 time where I denied a swap requests and the person was less than happy that I did so, so I really think the poster who pointed out that those who "have only been asked rudely" view merely being asked to swap as a rude imposition hit the nail on the head.
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Old Oct 13, 2017, 11:00 am
  #1616  
 
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Perhaps it's time to stop feeding the elitist trolls. Once they stopped arguing against straw men and finally owned up to the truth -- that they simply don't like to be asked and will never agree to swap -- the thread has gone nowhere. They aren't going to change their minds. Neither are the rest of us. At least the horse meat is good and tender from the prolonged beating.
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Old Oct 13, 2017, 12:13 pm
  #1617  
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Originally Posted by GatorBlues
Perhaps it's time to stop feeding the elitist trolls.
I find this quite offensive. People can hold different opinions without being dismissed in such fashion. It's comments like this that increases my resistance to being asked for a seat swap.
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Old Oct 13, 2017, 1:32 pm
  #1618  
 
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Originally Posted by PTravel
I find this quite offensive. People can hold different opinions without being dismissed in such fashion. It's comments like this that increases my resistance to being asked for a seat swap.
If you feel I'm dismissive of your opinion on this topic, you're exactly right. I see no need to apologize for at least two reasons:

1. I've read the same tired arguments -- e.g., adults don't need to sit together, and it's MY seat and you should have booked it first if you wanted it -- from the same posters more times than I can count in the last couple weeks of this thread (that is, in the pages created after the anti-swappers finally stopped arguing against imaginary points no one was making and admitted that they think it's offensive to be asked and will never say yes). Thus, the "troll" portion of my comment.

2. I think the attitude that it's a rude imposition for someone to merely politely ask for a favor is elitist and obnoxious. Similarly, I think it's peevish and unbecoming to take the position that you'll never swap. You don't have to do a small favor for a stranger (it wouldn't be a favor if it was mandatory), but I don't have to think your approach is commendable. Plus, the leading proponent of these views is "Proudelitist." Thus, the "elitist" portion of my comment.

By the way, given that you can't stop people from having the gall to ask politely for a swap, and if you'll never agree to trade seats anyway, please enlighten us on how an increase in your resistance would matter?

With this post, I too have taken a few whacks at the horse's carcass. I shall henceforth practice what I preach and no longer feed the elitist trolls.
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Old Oct 13, 2017, 1:42 pm
  #1619  
 
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Originally Posted by PTravel
Well, I guess I don't. My motto when I fly is: "Don't disturb me and I won't disturb you."
Easy to say when you're on the aisle.
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Old Oct 13, 2017, 2:04 pm
  #1620  
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Originally Posted by GatorBlues
If you feel I'm dismissive of your opinion on this topic, you're exactly right. I see no need to apologize for at least two reasons:
I don't care if your dismissive of my opinion. That fact that you're insulting is unnecessary, but also an FT TOS violation.

1. I've read the same tired arguments -- e.g., adults don't need to sit together, and it's MY seat and you should have booked it first if you wanted it -- from the same posters more times than I can count in the last couple weeks of this thread (that is, in the pages created after the anti-swappers finally stopped arguing against imaginary points no one was making and admitted that they think it's offensive to be asked and will never say yes). Thus, the "troll" portion of my comment.
I've never made any of those arguments. Not once. I don't care whether adults "need" to sit together or not. I don't care why anyone "needs" or "wants" my seat. Generally, the only exception I make are for people traveling in what I deem to be an emergency.

2. I think the attitude that it's a rude imposition for someone to merely politely ask for a favor is elitist and obnoxious. Similarly, I think it's peevish and unbecoming to take the position that you'll never swap. You don't have to do a small favor for a stranger (it wouldn't be a favor if it was mandatory), but I don't have to think your approach is commendable. Plus, the leading proponent of these views is "Proudelitist." Thus, the "elitist" portion of my comment.
Interrupting something to ask a favor is an imposition. The extent of the imposition depends on what I'm doing and how I'm feeling at the time. If someone stops me on my way to my seat and asks, quickly and politely for a swap, the imposition is de minimus. On the other hand, if someone taps me on the shoulder after I've settled in, put on my headphones, started to listen to music and am trying to fall asleep, the imposition is considerably more annoying.

By the way, given that you can't stop people from having the gall to ask politely for a swap, and if you'll never agree to trade seats anyway, please enlighten us on how an increase in your resistance would matter?
You can't stop people from farting, either. And no one has suggested either. What most of us have said is that, after years of extensive frequent flying, we've rarely been politely offered a comparable or better seat. And what I've said was that, after 30+ years of frequent flying, I never experienced a polite request from a parent seeking to sit with their child. Since the odds of a polite request, combined with a comparable or better seat, are, in my experience, pretty much nil, I'd rather not be asked at all.

I feel the same about door-to-door solicitors and salesman. I suppose it is not impossible that, some day, someone might come to my door and offer me something in which I'm interested. However, in 6+ decades I've lived on this planet, no one ever has. I am, therefore, no more receptive to door-to-door solicitors than I am to seat swap requesters.
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