Go Back  FlyerTalk Forums > Miles&Points > Airlines and Mileage Programs > Delta Air Lines | SkyMiles
Reload this Page >

Seat Swapping, Seat Poaching and Seating Etiquette: The Definitive Thread

Old Jul 14, 2015, 2:48 pm
FlyerTalk Forums Expert How-Tos and Guides
Last edit by: BadgerBoi
The Definitive Guide to Seat Poaching

1. Don't do it.
2. Alternatively to #1: Asking politely (and not demanding) to swap for an equal or better seat is acceptable by most (but the final decision always lays with the original seat holder)...but, be warned, some FT'ers may breathe fire at you.
3. Keep in mind that Point 2 is not seat poaching.
Print Wikipost

Seat Swapping, Seat Poaching and Seating Etiquette: The Definitive Thread

Old Feb 25, 2017, 9:56 am
  #871  
FlyerTalk Evangelist
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Toledo, OH
Programs: Delta DM & MM, Hilton DM, Marriott gold, Hyatt Globalist, Alaska 75K, Wyndham Diamond,
Posts: 15,391
Had a first last night, the passenger had the FA ask me to swap 4B for 2D. About five minutes after I was seated an FA asked me if I would switch 2D. The daughter of the guy sitting in 4A was sitting in 2D and they wanted to sit.

I told the FA I get up about once an hour and picked an aisle seat for that reason and it was also an odd number flight and they followed the rule of meal orders from the back of the plane that would mean I would miss out on my meal choice.

I was feeling a little guilty thinking the guy wouldn't be able to sit with his young daughter and was also worried if she was young enough I might get forced to move and told the FA that if 2C would take 2D I would take 2C but wanted her to do my meal choice before there's and she said not a problem.

Apparently 2C didn't agree to it and it turns out my seat mate was in his 60s and his daughter looked like she was in her 40s. He slept the entire flight anyway.

Not sure why the FA asked instead of him. Another weird thing was when the upgrade went through and I changed seats 4A was already taken. Since Delta is clearing two people at the same time now (or they were both on paid first class tickets) why didn't their system sit them together when the upgrade cleared or if it seated them separately he should have moved seats as soon as the upgrade cleared unless the original 4A did a SDC and they were a gate upgrade.
jamesteroh is offline  
Old Feb 25, 2017, 2:37 pm
  #872  
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,042
Originally Posted by jamesteroh
Had a first last night, the passenger had the FA ask me to swap 4B for 2D. About five minutes after I was seated an FA asked me if I would switch 2D. The daughter of the guy sitting in 4A was sitting in 2D and they wanted to sit.

I told the FA I get up about once an hour and picked an aisle seat for that reason and it was also an odd number flight and they followed the rule of meal orders from the back of the plane that would mean I would miss out on my meal choice.

I was feeling a little guilty thinking the guy wouldn't be able to sit with his young daughter and was also worried if she was young enough I might get forced to move and told the FA that if 2C would take 2D I would take 2C but wanted her to do my meal choice before there's and she said not a problem.

Apparently 2C didn't agree to it and it turns out my seat mate was in his 60s and his daughter looked like she was in her 40s. He slept the entire flight anyway.

Not sure why the FA asked instead of him. Another weird thing was when the upgrade went through and I changed seats 4A was already taken. Since Delta is clearing two people at the same time now (or they were both on paid first class tickets) why didn't their system sit them together when the upgrade cleared or if it seated them separately he should have moved seats as soon as the upgrade cleared unless the original 4A did a SDC and they were a gate upgrade.
It is not right to put others on the spot and feeling guilty about saying no for trivial reasons like this example. Quite a few people think it is fine as long as you ask nicely, but you are still putting somebody on the spot.
Tizzette is offline  
Old Feb 26, 2017, 8:53 am
  #873  
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 436
Originally Posted by Tizzette
It is not right to put others on the spot and feeling guilty about saying no for trivial reasons like this example. Quite a few people think it is fine as long as you ask nicely, but you are still putting somebody on the spot.
We're going to have a variety of opinions among us about whether it is "right" to ask. I am not as absolute as you, but also don't feel guilty about saying "no".

In this case, however, it would be an automatic no. I don't mind being asked by the parties involved, and I'll make my decision on the merits. If they attempt to menace me, and I include sending a crew member with some authority as menacing, then no way am I cooperating.
udontknowme is offline  
Old Feb 26, 2017, 10:58 am
  #874  
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 948
Originally Posted by Tizzette
It is not right to put others on the spot and feeling guilty about saying no for trivial reasons like this example. Quite a few people think it is fine as long as you ask nicely, but you are still putting somebody on the spot.
If you want to avoid all interaction with other people you will need to fly and pay for a private jet. Otherwise you'll have to accept that people will talk to you and ask you things, and as long as they do it nicely put on your big boys pants and deal with it.
theddo is offline  
Old Feb 26, 2017, 7:52 pm
  #875  
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,042
Originally Posted by theddo
If you want to avoid all interaction with other people you will need to fly and pay for a private jet. Otherwise you'll have to accept that people will talk to you and ask you things, and as long as they do it nicely put on your big boys pants and deal with it.
Wearing my big boy pants here, my view is that it is simply common courtesy not to bother strangers asking for favors, not unless you really have to.
Tizzette is offline  
Old Feb 26, 2017, 8:43 pm
  #876  
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: PIT, BWI, or IPT
Programs: Dividend Miles, WorldPerks
Posts: 1,302
Originally Posted by Tizzette
Wearing my big boy pants here, my view is that it is simply common courtesy not to bother strangers asking for favors, not unless you really have to.
Wearing big boy pants should include the ability to innocently communicate with fellow human beings without judgement on your part.

If someone asked you for a same or better seat swap (in your opinion), it is not a big deal and makes their day better. Does the brief interaction truly devalue your life in any way? Sitting in seat 24C is absolutely no different than sitting in seat 23C, especially if it makes someone's day or exciting trip just a little more bright.

This is a similar decent human thing like holding a door open for someone with their hands full or holding an elevator for a complete stranger. If these folks could have booked their seats together...they probably would have (IROPS and Upgrades and last minute bookings happen to all of us...)
pgh234 is offline  
Old Feb 26, 2017, 8:49 pm
  #877  
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Minneapolis: DL DM charter 2.3MM
Programs: A3*Gold, SPG Plat, HyattDiamond, MarriottPP, LHW exAccess, ICI, Raffles Amb, NW PE MM, TWA Gold MM
Posts: 100,326
Originally Posted by pgh234
Wearing big boy pants should include the ability to innocently communicate with fellow human beings without judgement on your part.

If someone asked you for a same or better seat swap (in your opinion), it is not a big deal and makes their day better. Does the brief interaction truly devalue your life in any way? Sitting in seat 24C is absolutely no different than sitting in seat 23C, especially if it makes someone's day or exciting trip just a little more bright.

This is a similar decent human thing like holding a door open for someone with their hands full or holding an elevator for a complete stranger. If these folks could have booked their seats together...they probably would have (IROPS and Upgrades and last minute bookings happen to all of us...)
For all you know the person in 24C is afraid of prime numbers. The seats might be no different for you, but the other person has the right to their own opinion on this and is absolutely not obligated to give you an explanation. We all have the right to define same or better in our own way, without apology.
MSPeconomist is offline  
Old Feb 26, 2017, 10:23 pm
  #878  
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,042
The example that got this started a few posts back, OP had already moved once to accommodate somebody, then he was asked to move again to accommodate a father who wanted to sit by his daughter. The daughter turned out to be not 4 years old but 40, then the father slept the whole flight anyway. Really too much. Too many people thinking it is always OK to ask as long as you ask nicely. If you wear the big boy pants, you'll accept that sometimes it's your luck not to get the seat you want and not bother someone else with your problem. Different for a parent separated from a child, or a couple on their honeymoon, and various other special situations.
Tizzette is offline  
Old Feb 26, 2017, 11:24 pm
  #879  
A FlyerTalk Posting Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Minneapolis: DL DM charter 2.3MM
Programs: A3*Gold, SPG Plat, HyattDiamond, MarriottPP, LHW exAccess, ICI, Raffles Amb, NW PE MM, TWA Gold MM
Posts: 100,326
Suppose we change the scenario a bit: There's someone traveling along with a FC seat that he/she doesn't especially like. The passenger could be traveling on a G A P fare, it could be a DM who was upgraded at the window (and we could speculate probably has a reasonably high fare class), it could be someone who used an instrument (GUC/RUC/miles) to upgrade when the ticket was purchased, It could be a SDC directly into FC presumably from a G A P fare, or it could be someone who was upgraded at the gate.

Does such a passenger have the same right to ask others to switch seats because they "need" or want some other seat (for whatever reason or no real reason at all) if the passenger makes the request politely?
MSPeconomist is offline  
Old Feb 27, 2017, 1:19 am
  #880  
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Programs: QFF Gold, Flying Blue, Enrich
Posts: 5,366
Originally Posted by pgh234
Wearing big boy pants should include the ability to innocently communicate with fellow human beings without judgement on your part.

If someone asked you for a same or better seat swap (in your opinion), it is not a big deal and makes their day better. Does the brief interaction truly devalue your life in any way? Sitting in seat 24C is absolutely no different than sitting in seat 23C, especially if it makes someone's day or exciting trip just a little more bright.

This is a similar decent human thing like holding a door open for someone with their hands full or holding an elevator for a complete stranger. If these folks could have booked their seats together...they probably would have (IROPS and Upgrades and last minute bookings happen to all of us...)
Tizette's pants seem to be bigger and more boy-like than yours. Suck it up and sit in the seat you've been assigned, and get in earlier next time if it's that important to you to have a particular seat.
BadgerBoi is offline  
Old Feb 27, 2017, 5:00 am
  #881  
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: PIT, BWI, or IPT
Programs: Dividend Miles, WorldPerks
Posts: 1,302
Originally Posted by MSPeconomist
For all you know the person in 24C is afraid of prime numbers. The seats might be no different for you, but the other person has the right to their own opinion on this and is absolutely not obligated to give you an explanation. We all have the right to define same or better in our own way, without apology.
I completely agree. Which is why I said "in your opinion"

You have every right to turn down the request as the owner of the seat...but please don't be offended by someone making a fair, discrete, and polite request.

Tizette's pants seem to be bigger and more boy-like than yours. Suck it up and sit in the seat you've been assigned, and get in earlier next time if it's that important to you to have a particular seat.
Wow, I am sorry that human interactions cause you so much anxiety. Perhaps you should think about flying private?
pgh234 is offline  
Old Feb 27, 2017, 7:43 am
  #882  
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 2,042
Originally Posted by MSPeconomist
Suppose we change the scenario a bit: There's someone traveling along with a FC seat that he/she doesn't especially like. The passenger could be traveling on a G A P fare, it could be a DM who was upgraded at the window (and we could speculate probably has a reasonably high fare class), it could be someone who used an instrument (GUC/RUC/miles) to upgrade when the ticket was purchased, It could be a SDC directly into FC presumably from a G A P fare, or it could be someone who was upgraded at the gate.

Does such a passenger have the same right to ask others to switch seats because they "need" or want some other seat (for whatever reason or no real reason at all) if the passenger makes the request politely?

No difference the fare people paid or if they got an upgrade. The fundamental basis of courtesy is thinking of the other person, not just yourself. That's why if you are truly courteous, you don't make a bother of yourself asking other people asking for favors for trivial reasons. It goes beyond "asking nicely."

Courteous people only ask to swap when they would suffer in their assigned seat for some real reason. For example, being incontinent and needing an aisle to get up frequently, or phobic about enclosed spaces and needing a window, or being apart on their honeymoon, or allergic and seated by the cat lady, or separated from their small child. Otherwise, it is rather an entitled attitude to feel free to ask because "they can always say no". Whether you've been upgraded, or irropped, or a latecomer, it is all the same.

Last edited by Tizzette; Feb 27, 2017 at 8:54 am
Tizzette is offline  
Old Feb 27, 2017, 9:43 am
  #883  
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,201
Am always happy to swap an equal seat for anyone, regardless of the reason. If they don't ask, I would never know I could do them the favor. Can't imagine anyone not agreeing, but it takes all kinds.
KenfromDE is offline  
Old Feb 27, 2017, 9:54 am
  #884  
pvn
Suspended
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: MEM
Programs: Starbucks Green Card
Posts: 5,431
Originally Posted by MSPeconomist
Suppose we change the scenario a bit: There's someone traveling along with a FC seat that he/she doesn't especially like. The passenger could be traveling on a G A P fare, it could be a DM who was upgraded at the window (and we could speculate probably has a reasonably high fare class), it could be someone who used an instrument (GUC/RUC/miles) to upgrade when the ticket was purchased, It could be a SDC directly into FC presumably from a G A P fare, or it could be someone who was upgraded at the gate.

Does such a passenger have the same right to ask others to switch seats because they "need" or want some other seat (for whatever reason or no real reason at all) if the passenger makes the request politely?
I don't understand why this changes anything for anyone considering this issue.
pvn is offline  
Old Feb 27, 2017, 10:09 am
  #885  
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Cleveland, OH USA
Posts: 454
I had an interesting situation the other week. The first leg of my trip was SDF to ATL on a MD-88. I had been upgraded to FC with seat 4A assigned. When I boarded there was a lady sitting in 4A already. Thinking she was in one of the other seats I spoke to her and told her I was in 4A and could she check her boarding pass. She got "huffy" with me and pulled out her BP and informed me "she was assigned 4A and I must be wrong". Not wanting to start any stuff I called the FA over, who asked for her BP. The FA looked at the pass, looked at my BP on my phone and stated there was a mix-up as we were both assigned 4A. At this time I actually saw the woman's boarding pass and saw what the problem was. I informed the FA that there was not a screw up but I had 4A and the woman actually had 34A. Seems the FA and the woman in my seat had looked at the departure gate (4A) and thought it was her seat. She was not happy to move to the ""back of the bus" in her assigned seat.
stillontheroad is offline  

Thread Tools
Search this Thread

Contact Us - Manage Preferences - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service -

This site is owned, operated, and maintained by MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Designated trademarks are the property of their respective owners.