A Plan to Make The Delta Skymiles Forum more User-Friendly
May 26, 2011, 7:32 pm
#1
Original Poster
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: TPA
Programs: United - PG, Marriott Silver
Posts: 1,625
A Plan to Make The Delta Skymiles Forum more User-Friendly
As always, there have been several suggestions lately for threads to be merged, moved, reorganized, or locked. In an effort to help the wonderful Mods of the Delta SkyMiles forum make this the best forum on FlyerTalk (and perhaps on the interweb), I have decided to suggest that, other than the stickys, the forum be confined to 15 threads. This would make posting and finding information easy, and allow the membership to limit the loss in productivity this forum costs their employers to 30 or 40 thousand dollars annually. In addition to suggesting titles and descriptions of the 15 threads, I also have thrown out some great ideas for sponsors of each thread. These sponsors could generate revenue for the forum to pay for the next DO (which I think should be held at a different hub, say CDG), and could also provide exciting prizes to the bests posts in the thread they sponsor. I welcome anyone’s thoughts.
The Newbie Flame Pit – This would be the thread where folks new to the board would ask questions that could easily be found on the Delta website or in one of the stickys, and could then be flamed by the veteran posters for not “doing a search.” Anyone with less than 200 posts would be required to post here, no matter how valid their question. The thread would be sponsored by Weber who would present a new grill to the best flame job of the month.
I Love Delta – This is where all the warm and fuzzy posts about smooth flights, friendly employees, and other sentimental stories could be posted. Each post in this thread would be required to include no fewer than 4 emoticons, all of which would appear as red hearts rather than yellow circles. The thread would be sponsored by Hallmark who would create a special series of thank you cards using sappy adjectives from the gushiest post of the month.
Delta Sucks – This is where all the posts about rude FAs, poor service, IROPS, and all the other grumbling could be shared. To keep this thread from getting to long, a poll would be included in the initial post which asked: “Have you gotten the shaft from Delta.dum?” The poll’s choices would be ‘Yes,’ ‘Big-time,’ and ‘Currently being talked off of a ledge.’ The thread would be sponsored by Delta who would allow the OP of the most ‘saddening’ post of the month to write the form letter which would be sent to every online complaint received by Delta that month.
Woe is Me – This is where all the posts that probably belong in the previous thread, but whose posters feel especially passionate, could provide their ridiculously long anecdotes and receive feedback on just how many SkyPesos they are owed. All posts in this thread would be required to make extensive use of literary elements. The thread would be sponsored by Simon & Schuster, and a monthly vote would be held to identify the best story each month. The sponsor would then compile the stories which won each month into an annual anthology entitled The Delta SkyMiles Forum Presents Minor Problems, Major Crybabies: How I Chiseled away at Delta’s Profits with My Tears.
Pad my Balance – This is where all the posts about Delta promotions could be discussed with reckless abandon, and with little regard to the impact they will have on the SkyMiles Program. Especially encouraged would be posts which dissect each term and condition of promotions to allow for SM Members to extract maximum value. This thread would be sponsored by American Express and the most industrious posting of the month would receive a free companion certificate, complete with more restrictions then one of those “You have won a free 8 day cruise” postcards.
You Want How Many Miles for That? – This is where posters could endlessly complain about the lack of low-level redemptions, and express their awe at the situation. Posters here would likely be the same folks who had recently posted in the previous thread about the 500,000 miles they earned by signing up for, and then canceling every card offered by American Express. This thread would be sponsored by the folks who own the naming rights to Eastern Airlines, and the most amazing redemption story of the month would receive a free flight, without blackout dates, on Eastern or their code share partners TWA, Pan Am, and Midway.
The Merger Ruined my Life – In this thread, every post would be required to use the acronyms PMDL and PMNW, followed by a rant about how the merger has ruined the life of the poster. Especially encouraged would be posts which make over-generalizations about the laziness of PMDL/PMNW employees, the poor state of PMDL/PMNW hubs, and the questionable airworthiness of PMDL/PMNW aircraft. This thread will be jointly sponsored by DeltaAFA and AFA who will argue monthly over the best post, and what prize the author of the post will get (Note: I originally thought about separating this into 2 threads, but what fun would that be).
DYKWIA – In this thread, posters, who would be required to have DM status, could evaluate the extent to which their sense of entitlement has been satisfied. The acronym DYKWIA would never actually be used by posters here. Any time the letters FO appeared in a post, they would automatically be replaced with the word ‘loser.’ This thread would be sponsored by Rolls Royce, and each FT member, after their 50th post in the thread, would receive a commemorative hat and bag tag.
DYKWIWIW (Do You Know Who I Wish I Was) – In this thread, posters, who would be required to have FO, GM, or PM status, could evaluate the extent to which their sense of entitlement has not been satisfied. As a special feature of this thread, posters could add their upcoming Delta confirmation numbers to their signatures, and then see a line graph at the bottom of each post showing, in real time, the quick decline of the poster’s position on the upgrade list. Anytime the letters DM appeared in a post, they would automatically be replaced with the acronym “DYKWIA.” This thread would also be sponsored by Rolls Royce, and each FT member, after their 50th post in the thread, would receive a post card touting the benefits of posting in the DYKWIA thread.
The Official 'Sheena Sighting' Thread – Self Explanatory for most, but this would be the place to report all those incidents, real or imagined, about crooked GAs, evil non-revs, mysterious GIDS anomalies, and other sightings of the infamous old gal. This thread would be sponsored jointly by Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. Each month a prize would be awarded for the most egregious incident like, “I was 1 of 1 for 8 seats in F and ended up in the baggage compartment.” The prize would vary based on whether or not the author of the post had been a good little girl/boy.
Who Moved my (fake) Cheese – This would be the place to report any changes in service policies, whether related to the Delta hard or soft product. Items of great importance like snack basket changes, current cereal brands being served, FEBO/FEFO, PFB, and all the other things that really matter to customers could be discussed here. Posts containing the words “Biscoff” or “Woodford” would automatically be bolded throughout the thread. This thread would be sponsored by Bombardier who would award the author of the most informative post each month (like one commenting on the quality of the soap in the F lav.) with their choice of a CRJ-100 aircraft or $2 cash.
The Grass is Greener – This would be the place where folks considering defecting from, or moving to Delta could talk each other out of switching carriers by explaining in detail the extent to which pretty much ever airline sucks. This thread would be sponsored by Southwest Airlines, and each month, the poster who convinced the most people to switch from the carrier they had been loyal to for decades, would get a complimentary status match to WN’s highest elite tier.
I’m Bored, Lonely and/or Have No Life – This would be where people who are desperate to post to the Forum, but who have no relevant information to post, would share their worthless tidbits. Posts here may include celebrity sightings, as well as unsubstantiated rumors about changes in routes, aircraft, etc. This thread would be sponsored by airliners.net and each month the most irrelevant post would be cross-listed on their site. (Note to mods: if the suggestions in this thread are adopted, I demand that it be the first monthly winner of the award described).
Invited Thread: The Amazing, and Slightly Intoxicated, Travels of Thomas Hudson – Included because this would be my favorite thread if it existed. This thread would be sponsored by Woodford Reserve who would award a bottle of their fine bourbon each week to Thomas Hudson for the best post by Thomas Hudson which involved him polishing off the bottle he had been awarded the previous week.
The Delta Forum Lounge – I’m not really sure what goes on in here, but 72,000 posts don’t lie. No matter how much the posts in here might resemble the ones on that swingers site your strange uncle told you about, it seems to make a lot of people, especially our mods, happy. And my dad always said, a happy mod is a….never mind that was in reference to a girlfriend.
The Newbie Flame Pit – This would be the thread where folks new to the board would ask questions that could easily be found on the Delta website or in one of the stickys, and could then be flamed by the veteran posters for not “doing a search.” Anyone with less than 200 posts would be required to post here, no matter how valid their question. The thread would be sponsored by Weber who would present a new grill to the best flame job of the month.
I Love Delta – This is where all the warm and fuzzy posts about smooth flights, friendly employees, and other sentimental stories could be posted. Each post in this thread would be required to include no fewer than 4 emoticons, all of which would appear as red hearts rather than yellow circles. The thread would be sponsored by Hallmark who would create a special series of thank you cards using sappy adjectives from the gushiest post of the month.
Delta Sucks – This is where all the posts about rude FAs, poor service, IROPS, and all the other grumbling could be shared. To keep this thread from getting to long, a poll would be included in the initial post which asked: “Have you gotten the shaft from Delta.dum?” The poll’s choices would be ‘Yes,’ ‘Big-time,’ and ‘Currently being talked off of a ledge.’ The thread would be sponsored by Delta who would allow the OP of the most ‘saddening’ post of the month to write the form letter which would be sent to every online complaint received by Delta that month.
Woe is Me – This is where all the posts that probably belong in the previous thread, but whose posters feel especially passionate, could provide their ridiculously long anecdotes and receive feedback on just how many SkyPesos they are owed. All posts in this thread would be required to make extensive use of literary elements. The thread would be sponsored by Simon & Schuster, and a monthly vote would be held to identify the best story each month. The sponsor would then compile the stories which won each month into an annual anthology entitled The Delta SkyMiles Forum Presents Minor Problems, Major Crybabies: How I Chiseled away at Delta’s Profits with My Tears.
Pad my Balance – This is where all the posts about Delta promotions could be discussed with reckless abandon, and with little regard to the impact they will have on the SkyMiles Program. Especially encouraged would be posts which dissect each term and condition of promotions to allow for SM Members to extract maximum value. This thread would be sponsored by American Express and the most industrious posting of the month would receive a free companion certificate, complete with more restrictions then one of those “You have won a free 8 day cruise” postcards.
You Want How Many Miles for That? – This is where posters could endlessly complain about the lack of low-level redemptions, and express their awe at the situation. Posters here would likely be the same folks who had recently posted in the previous thread about the 500,000 miles they earned by signing up for, and then canceling every card offered by American Express. This thread would be sponsored by the folks who own the naming rights to Eastern Airlines, and the most amazing redemption story of the month would receive a free flight, without blackout dates, on Eastern or their code share partners TWA, Pan Am, and Midway.
The Merger Ruined my Life – In this thread, every post would be required to use the acronyms PMDL and PMNW, followed by a rant about how the merger has ruined the life of the poster. Especially encouraged would be posts which make over-generalizations about the laziness of PMDL/PMNW employees, the poor state of PMDL/PMNW hubs, and the questionable airworthiness of PMDL/PMNW aircraft. This thread will be jointly sponsored by DeltaAFA and AFA who will argue monthly over the best post, and what prize the author of the post will get (Note: I originally thought about separating this into 2 threads, but what fun would that be).
DYKWIA – In this thread, posters, who would be required to have DM status, could evaluate the extent to which their sense of entitlement has been satisfied. The acronym DYKWIA would never actually be used by posters here. Any time the letters FO appeared in a post, they would automatically be replaced with the word ‘loser.’ This thread would be sponsored by Rolls Royce, and each FT member, after their 50th post in the thread, would receive a commemorative hat and bag tag.
DYKWIWIW (Do You Know Who I Wish I Was) – In this thread, posters, who would be required to have FO, GM, or PM status, could evaluate the extent to which their sense of entitlement has not been satisfied. As a special feature of this thread, posters could add their upcoming Delta confirmation numbers to their signatures, and then see a line graph at the bottom of each post showing, in real time, the quick decline of the poster’s position on the upgrade list. Anytime the letters DM appeared in a post, they would automatically be replaced with the acronym “DYKWIA.” This thread would also be sponsored by Rolls Royce, and each FT member, after their 50th post in the thread, would receive a post card touting the benefits of posting in the DYKWIA thread.
The Official 'Sheena Sighting' Thread – Self Explanatory for most, but this would be the place to report all those incidents, real or imagined, about crooked GAs, evil non-revs, mysterious GIDS anomalies, and other sightings of the infamous old gal. This thread would be sponsored jointly by Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. Each month a prize would be awarded for the most egregious incident like, “I was 1 of 1 for 8 seats in F and ended up in the baggage compartment.” The prize would vary based on whether or not the author of the post had been a good little girl/boy.
Who Moved my (fake) Cheese – This would be the place to report any changes in service policies, whether related to the Delta hard or soft product. Items of great importance like snack basket changes, current cereal brands being served, FEBO/FEFO, PFB, and all the other things that really matter to customers could be discussed here. Posts containing the words “Biscoff” or “Woodford” would automatically be bolded throughout the thread. This thread would be sponsored by Bombardier who would award the author of the most informative post each month (like one commenting on the quality of the soap in the F lav.) with their choice of a CRJ-100 aircraft or $2 cash.
The Grass is Greener – This would be the place where folks considering defecting from, or moving to Delta could talk each other out of switching carriers by explaining in detail the extent to which pretty much ever airline sucks. This thread would be sponsored by Southwest Airlines, and each month, the poster who convinced the most people to switch from the carrier they had been loyal to for decades, would get a complimentary status match to WN’s highest elite tier.
I’m Bored, Lonely and/or Have No Life – This would be where people who are desperate to post to the Forum, but who have no relevant information to post, would share their worthless tidbits. Posts here may include celebrity sightings, as well as unsubstantiated rumors about changes in routes, aircraft, etc. This thread would be sponsored by airliners.net and each month the most irrelevant post would be cross-listed on their site. (Note to mods: if the suggestions in this thread are adopted, I demand that it be the first monthly winner of the award described).
Invited Thread: The Amazing, and Slightly Intoxicated, Travels of Thomas Hudson – Included because this would be my favorite thread if it existed. This thread would be sponsored by Woodford Reserve who would award a bottle of their fine bourbon each week to Thomas Hudson for the best post by Thomas Hudson which involved him polishing off the bottle he had been awarded the previous week.
The Delta Forum Lounge – I’m not really sure what goes on in here, but 72,000 posts don’t lie. No matter how much the posts in here might resemble the ones on that swingers site your strange uncle told you about, it seems to make a lot of people, especially our mods, happy. And my dad always said, a happy mod is a….never mind that was in reference to a girlfriend.
May 26, 2011, 8:05 pm
#5
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: MCO
Programs: DL-DM/1MM, HILTON-DIA, .HYATT-DIA/GLOB , IHG-PLT,HERTZ 5*, NATIONAL ES
Posts: 8,691
To simplify the Delta forum, you can consolidate the existing threads into the following.
My Upgrade did not clear.. WHY?????
SKY CLUBS aren't what they used to be.
DL destroyed my airline.
The Award Calendar is broken.
Sky Miles Devaluation
Delta Sucks
Delta's Great
Rumors / Speculation.
Kettle's and Lice.
Targeted Promos... WHY NOT ME????
Dear Mr. DYKWIA,
Not that it would matter... because even if you had these simplified threads or the more well defined ones by the OP^^, people would still start duplicate after duplicate of the same subject.....
My Upgrade did not clear.. WHY?????
SKY CLUBS aren't what they used to be.
DL destroyed my airline.
The Award Calendar is broken.
Sky Miles Devaluation
Delta Sucks
Delta's Great
Rumors / Speculation.
Kettle's and Lice.
Targeted Promos... WHY NOT ME????
Dear Mr. DYKWIA,
Not that it would matter... because even if you had these simplified threads or the more well defined ones by the OP^^, people would still start duplicate after duplicate of the same subject.....
May 26, 2011, 8:18 pm
#6
FlyerTalk Evangelist
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: The best state in the USA - Florida!
Programs: Marriott Titanium/LT Plat, AS MVP75K, AA PlatPro, UA Premier, Disney AP
Posts: 14,497
Invited Thread: The Amazing, and Slightly Intoxicated, Travels of Thomas Hudson – Included because this would be my favorite thread if it existed. This thread would be sponsored by Woodford Reserve who would award a bottle of their fine bourbon each week to Thomas Hudson for the best post by Thomas Hudson which involved him polishing off the bottle he had been awarded the previous week.
Bravo, sir.
May 26, 2011, 8:29 pm
#8
Join Date: Mar 2011
Programs: DL-5,239 Miles|SkyMiles Member. welp
Posts: 30
This is one of the best posts i've seen on FT!
i can't stop laughing 
excellent job.
This thread would be sponsored by Bombardier who would award the author of the most informative post each month (like one commenting on the quality of the soap in the F lav.) with their choice of a CRJ-100 aircraft or $2 cash.
excellent job.
May 26, 2011, 8:32 pm
#9
Moderator, Delta Skymiles and Mileage Run
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Seat 2A
Programs: DL Diamond/MM, Hyatt Diamond, former AS MVPG 75K, Marriott Titanium, Hilton Gold
Posts: 2,940
Hahaha this is amazing! I have to agree! Some of the best posts on this forum are the Thomas Hudson posts! And the airliners reference is great too.
May 26, 2011, 8:37 pm
#10
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NYC
Programs: SPG Plat, Emerald Exec., PC Plat, AA, CO, DL, UBS Charter Card, Palladium Card, Amex Plat
Posts: 1,694
To simplify the Delta forum, you can consolidate the existing threads into the following.
My Upgrade did not clear.. WHY?????
SKY CLUBS aren't what they used to be.
DL destroyed my airline.
The Award Calendar is broken.
Sky Miles Devaluation
Delta Sucks
Delta's Great
Rumors / Speculation.
Kettle's and Lice.
Targeted Promos... WHY NOT ME????
Dear Mr. DYKWIA,
Not that it would matter... because even if you had these simplified threads or the more well defined ones by the OP^^, people would still start duplicate after duplicate of the same subject.....
My Upgrade did not clear.. WHY?????
SKY CLUBS aren't what they used to be.
DL destroyed my airline.
The Award Calendar is broken.
Sky Miles Devaluation
Delta Sucks
Delta's Great
Rumors / Speculation.
Kettle's and Lice.
Targeted Promos... WHY NOT ME????
Dear Mr. DYKWIA,
Not that it would matter... because even if you had these simplified threads or the more well defined ones by the OP^^, people would still start duplicate after duplicate of the same subject.....
May 26, 2011, 8:56 pm
#12
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: MCO
Programs: DL-DM/1MM, HILTON-DIA, .HYATT-DIA/GLOB , IHG-PLT,HERTZ 5*, NATIONAL ES
Posts: 8,691
May 26, 2011, 10:07 pm
#14
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Columbia, SC
Programs: AA Plat, SPG/Marriot Gold, HHonors Diamond, Hyatt Expl
Posts: 2,363
I'm gonna stop reading right here. This is the most laughing I've done reading FT and it's broken the funk I've been in all day. Thank you sir, I'm now going to bed amused.