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The Gate Lice are coming... the GATE LICE are coming

The Gate Lice are coming... the GATE LICE are coming

Old Mar 9, 10, 8:35 pm
  #151  
 
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Conffessions of a gate louse

Originally Posted by Himmelhund View Post
Not one of you have ever been even a little bit of gate louse (is that the proper term?). Well I admit sometimes I have been, long days and you know what: I am very sick and tired of having folks carry what looks like two weeks worth of 'small' bags on to BE on long haul flights leaving little room for when one goes on last....you know who you are, some of you are writing on this thread--you know those of you trying hard not to be one of the lice as it were. But then when said person gets on last, walking confidently with his/her BE and newly minted stamped "DM" boarding pass and finds no place, I mean no place, to put there many bags....ohhh can you say "Do You Know Who I Am?" Saw this just the other day..... Sooo the lesson is sometimes being gate louse can work in your favor.
OK, I admit it - I am a gate louse. I usually select seat 1 A (except 2 D on the former NW 757-200) and want the overhead space, since there is no space under a non-existent seat in the bulkhead. I try to be subtle, watching carefully for the migration, but try to stand in a strategic place so I can make my move quietly and as unobtrusively as possible when it starts. It IS amusing to watch the dance. It is kind of fun to see folks that should not board early get busted when it happens. They are good at this in PHX.
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Old Mar 9, 10, 8:37 pm
  #152  
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Originally Posted by fgirard View Post
Not quite, in fact, I wouldn't be at all surprised if they have us move the jetway ourselves and load our own luggage (if no one else can do it correctly--then we'll do it ourselves)
Now don't go giving Douggie any ideas.
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Old Mar 9, 10, 8:42 pm
  #153  
 
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Originally Posted by WBurcham View Post
Now don't go giving Douggie any ideas.
too late... Douggie has already thought of that (at LGA/PHL they don't believe in using jetways for the 'barbie' jets--which really sucks in the rain)
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Old Mar 9, 10, 8:44 pm
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Why is it necessary to show a picture of said gate louse to make this point?

How many of us want pictures of our worst moments on flyertalk.com?
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Old Mar 9, 10, 8:52 pm
  #155  
 
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Maybe someone mentioned this already, but I don't have time to read 11 pages of comments! However, gate lice on flights to/from LGA are standard procedure. In fact, you usually can't even see the boarding area there are so many. Yesterday, LGA-FLL, there was a crowd of DYKWIA blocking the boarding area, so that special assists in wheelchairs had to be maneuvered around the lice.
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Old Mar 9, 10, 8:56 pm
  #156  
 
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Originally Posted by me4yankees View Post
Maybe someone mentioned this already, but I don't have time to read 11 pages of comments! However, gate lice on flights to/from LGA are standard procedure. In fact, you usually can't even see the boarding area there are so many. Yesterday, LGA-FLL, there was a crowd of DYKWIA blocking the boarding area, so that special assists in wheelchairs had to be maneuvered around the lice.
in that situation, there should be no maneuvering...merely barreling down towards the gate in a wheelchair should be sufficient (and if they don't move you could file a complaint...only after you barrel past them)
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Old Mar 9, 10, 9:48 pm
  #157  
 
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Originally Posted by Himmelhund View Post
Not one of you have ever been even a little bit of gate louse (is that the proper term?). Well I admit sometimes I have been, long days and you know what: I am very sick and tired of having folks carry what looks like two weeks worth of 'small' bags on to BE on long haul flights leaving little room for when one goes on last....you know who you are, some of you are writing on this thread--you know those of you trying hard not to be one of the lice as it were. But then when said person gets on last, walking confidently with his/her BE and newly minted stamped "DM" boarding pass and finds no place, I mean no place, to put there many bags....ohhh can you say "Do You Know Who I Am?" Saw this just the other day..... Sooo the lesson is sometimes being gate louse can work in your favor.
I guess in my earlier explanations some would call me a gate louse, but I am a respectful one. I do not block the crew and I do not stand in the Breezeway until long after the arriving plane has cleared of pax. I also am respectful of the wheelchairs and stand clear so that they can pass as if I was nowhere near....

I agree that the those who are claiming not to be part of the lice are also sometimes the ones who come on the plane after and play DYKWIA with the crew and attempt to rearrange the bins and closets as if they owned the place. These are two separate issues, but are yet one in the same.

I wish it were not necessary to play the lice game, but.... from flying on US, I learned that if you did not stake your position, you would be left sitting in F with your bag in Y over row 20.

As I have stated before... If you are in Zone 1, then I see no issue with lining up in the Breezeway. If you are in Zone 2 or latter, then you should hold back.

The lice issue is when those in zones 2,3,4 start clogging up the Breezeway so that those in lower zones cannot board... This is the real issue....



Originally Posted by fgirard View Post
Not quite, in fact, I wouldn't be at all surprised if they have us move the jetway ourselves and load our own luggage (if no one else can do it correctly--then we'll do it ourselves)
Given some of the service at US, it could make for an improvement.

Originally Posted by remedy View Post
OK, I admit it - I am a gate louse. I usually select seat 1 A (except 2 D on the former NW 757-200) and want the overhead space, since there is no space under a non-existent seat in the bulkhead. I try to be subtle, watching carefully for the migration, but try to stand in a strategic place so I can make my move quietly and as unobtrusively as possible when it starts. It IS amusing to watch the dance. It is kind of fun to see folks that should not board early get busted when it happens. They are good at this in PHX.
Agreed.. I love seat 1B on the NW 752's as the overhead bin is one of the only bins without that annoying EXTRA bar... Also, it is actually better to board this row first as it is in the front of the F cabin and they usually board this plane from 2L. So in a way it is like boarding the back first....

I do love the gate dance and it is funny watching people tying not to look like they are trying play for position. The key is to magically be in the right place at the right time without being rude about it. It takes finesse, but can be done. AND AGREED.. I love it when those boarding early get BUSTED..... I wish there were many more of those great GA's..... Boston has a few.. MCO has a few... but not enough..



Originally Posted by me4yankees View Post
Maybe someone mentioned this already, but I don't have time to read 11 pages of comments! However, gate lice on flights to/from LGA are standard procedure. In fact, you usually can't even see the boarding area there are so many. Yesterday, LGA-FLL, there was a crowd of DYKWIA blocking the boarding area, so that special assists in wheelchairs had to be maneuvered around the lice.
You really should read this thread... it is pretty funny and well worth it.... Much lighter than most of the DL threads lately.
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Old Mar 9, 10, 9:58 pm
  #158  
 
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Greetings from a non-ST visitor...

This sort of thing is not restricted to DL... nor to US airlines generally...nor is it necessarily an "unentitled" person...

Flew ICN-SFO on SQ last year... in C (lucky me!)... At least 30 minutes (possibly 40) before boarding started there was a guy.. normal looking businessman... standing at the rope blocking the First Class boarding lane...

Yes, He WAS in First Class (One of only 3 or 4 on that 77W)...... and YES First was "called" first...

What was he doing? I have no idea.
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Old Mar 9, 10, 10:05 pm
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Originally Posted by trooper View Post
Greetings from a non-ST visitor...

This sort of thing is not restricted to DL... nor to US airlines generally...nor is it necessarily an "unentitled" person...

Flew ICN-SFO on SQ last year... in C (lucky me!)... At least 30 minutes (possibly 40) before boarding started there was a guy.. normal looking businessman... standing at the rope blocking the First Class boarding lane...

Yes, He WAS in First Class (One of only 3 or 4 on that 77W)...... and YES First was "called" first...

What was he doing? I have no idea.
Oh dear....the lice are leaving the hive...

Was he from UA/US? That would explain everything, because that would create the absence of order...
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Old Mar 9, 10, 11:59 pm
  #160  
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Originally Posted by WBurcham View Post
THAT is a fantastic idea. I would actually be all for it.
I too love this idea. SMI, are you listening? So long as we still get preflight drinks and also have our bin space protected, I'm all for boarding last.

Maybe the solution to the gate pax problem is to get some JFK enforcers to tell pax to "sit down" (other words inserted with a NY accent acceptable).
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Old Mar 10, 10, 8:38 am
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Lol. Love it.
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Old Mar 10, 10, 8:50 am
  #162  
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Originally Posted by CelticFlyer View Post
Why is it necessary to show a picture of said gate louse to make this point?

How many of us want pictures of our worst moments on flyertalk.com?
Because this wasn't a worst moment. It was a premeditated decision by someone to stand there to DYKWIA be first onboard.

Originally Posted by Crazyhotelguy View Post
You really should read this thread... it is pretty funny and well worth it.... Much lighter than most of the DL threads lately.
Could that have, possibly, been the point

Originally Posted by trooper View Post
Flew ICN-SFO on SQ last year... in C (lucky me!)... At least 30 minutes (possibly 40) before boarding started there was a guy.. normal looking businessman... standing at the rope blocking the First Class boarding lane...

Yes, He WAS in First Class (One of only 3 or 4 on that 77W)...... and YES First was "called" first...

What was he doing? I have no idea.
THAT IS CRAZY. Why would someone want to lose their lounge time to just board first. *sigh*

Originally Posted by mnredfox View Post
I too love this idea. SMI, are you listening? So long as we still get preflight drinks and also have our bin space protected, I'm all for boarding last.

Maybe the solution to the gate pax problem is to get some JFK enforcers to tell pax to "sit down" (other words inserted with a NY accent acceptable).
+1
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Old Mar 10, 10, 8:52 am
  #163  
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Originally Posted by CelticFlyer View Post
Why is it necessary to show a picture of said gate louse to make this point?

How many of us want pictures of our worst moments on flyertalk.com?
Well to be fair this is a light hearted topic and one that gives us a break from the usual back and fourth about other more emotional subjects.

Re: The comment about being "a louse, but a respectful louse" I would say then you are indeed NOT a louse. Part of the natural behaviour of the North American Gate Louse/Lice is to be completely rude and just get in the way even though said louse is not boarding first. If you do the "Gate hover dance™" then you are, by definition, at best a cousin of the NA Gate Louse and not a true gate louse. I think we have all done the Gate hover dance™ but as long as you are respectful and NOT right in front of the door it is fully excusable.

It should be noted however, that Gate Lice frequently do more harm to themselves by standing for a half hour or more "in position". This leads to foot and back issues and ultimately gets them on first by way of wheelchair in as little as 5 years of this behaviour.

I will be at LAX (a prime natural habitat of the North American Gate Louse) later today for a flight and if I catch a swarm of NA Gate Lice I will be posting a picture (blurred to protect the innocent of course) tomorrow am.

It is all in good fun...
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Old Mar 10, 10, 9:17 am
  #164  
 
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Support Group?

My name is Jeff, and I am a DL gate louse.
"Hello Jeff, welcome to the group."

I admit it. I wait for the incoming flight to be completely empty, and then I take the least obtrusive spot near the Breezeway lane (but not ON the actual carpet sample) in anticipation of the call to board Zone 1. I dont dance, I dont wave my DM tag in typical DYKWIA behaviour and I dont obstruct the wheelchairs or crew.

I just like to get onboard and get settled (I usually have a non-bulkhead window seat) to avoid the riff-raff. You know the types:
  • the guy who spends 5 minutes trying to put his overstuffed rollaboard in the overhead along with his briefcase and coat.
  • the guy who has to arrange his crackberry, cell phone, magazines, paperback, special pillow, bag of snacks and Starbucks all in his little 2x2 seat area.
  • the family who spends 10 minutes switching seats back and forth because Billy wants to sit with Mommy but Susie wants a window.

Just give me my window seat as fast as possible so that I can put on my headphones and get my pre-flight cocktail.
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Old Mar 10, 10, 9:25 am
  #165  
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Originally Posted by jeff30189 View Post
My name is Jeff, and I am a DL gate louse.
"Hello Jeff, welcome to the group."

I admit it. I wait for the incoming flight to be completely empty, and then I take the least obtrusive spot near the Breezeway lane (but not ON the actual carpet sample) in anticipation of the call to board Zone 1. I dont dance, I dont wave my DM tag in typical DYKWIA behaviour and I dont obstruct the wheelchairs or crew.

I just like to get onboard and get settled (I usually have a non-bulkhead window seat) to avoid the riff-raff. You know the types:
  • the guy who spends 5 minutes trying to put his overstuffed rollaboard in the overhead along with his briefcase and coat.
  • the guy who has to arrange his crackberry, cell phone, magazines, paperback, special pillow, bag of snacks and Starbucks all in his little 2x2 seat area.
  • the family who spends 10 minutes switching seats back and forth because Billy wants to sit with Mommy but Susie wants a window.

Just give me my window seat as fast as possible so that I can put on my headphones and get my pre-flight cocktail.

Thanks for sharing Jeff. The first step is to admit you have a problem and you have done that. Let's give Jeff a round of applause (sound of applause)
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