Anglo Large Clawed Otter

Happy 4th, all! If you end up getting stranded during travels this holiday, I hope you do so in style, at ConUniHound's new flagship terminal (AKA IAH B-84)

CAL PHL FLYER

I thought the penalty box was an area you sit in newark during weather delays..have heard it call the ballpark too..only i dont think your going there to see a game..@:-)

J.Edward

So anyways I was planning on cursing up on by the quarterly I (hate/love) CO and will (never/always) fly them again because they have (outstanding/horrific customer) service (and/despite the fact) my EUA's (never/never) clear! ( / )

Dude, xyzzy this ain't funny; I need my fix!

Oh well...guess I'll have to wait another quarter

...and on that note, does anyone want to place a bet on when the next major broohaha thread will be? I'm sure we all have some extra TC's lying about

rkkwan

I am sorry. I was the last one who posted before xyzzy closed it. It's all my fault!

Anglo Large Clawed Otter

The best ones burn bright and hot, but are doomed to flare out quickly. Give it a few months. Some hack journo will recycle the WaPo article and the fun will crank up again

G23

how about the

"what happened to flight COXXX" threads that make their way over from airliners.net forum

Anglo Large Clawed Otter

I'm guessing all the other IAH FTers had a similarly sodden Fourth? Who needs scientists to confirm climate change, anyhow? It's pretty obvious Houston no longer has summers; just a rainy/monsoon season instead.

HedgeFundFlyer

Dry afternoon in my part of town but a big puddle in my driveway ... glad the "Freedom Over Texas" fireworks went off in the end.

J.Edward

US Airways offers elite level 'buy ups' with mileage - 250,000/level

Wow.

Anglo Large Clawed Otter

I could be a Silver Preferred on :-:US Airways:-: for only 250,000 miles, when they already accidentally (or not) gave away Gold Preferred to basically anyone that ever had a US FF Account in the past...where can I sign up?!

Never thought I would say this, but an EasyPass BF reward to Europe is a better value.

JohnneeO

What about all the threads/posts imploring CoInsider to answer some random question?

Anglo Large Clawed Otter

Greetings, fellow airport entomologists. It has come to my attention that an entire genus of airport fauna has yet to be properly studied and classified, namely: the ignoble gate-louse. Little is known of these parasites of the jet-way, and we owe it to our fellow travelers to inform and educate regarding the particular (and peculiar) qualities of the various species. As with all lice, the not-so-humble gate-louse belongs to the Order Phthiraptera. All gate-lice belong to the Genus Portapestis. However, the various species of gate-lice have yet to be properly classified. My limited studies have revealed a most interesting specimen, namely:

Anoplura Obstructicus:
Distinguishing Characteristics - A.O. is a bottom-feeder, which sucks sustenance from the blue acrylic fibers of Elite Access carpets. A.O. prefers to feed shortly after an inbound aircraft has deplaned, as the carpet fibers quickly fill with all manner of detritus dropped from the stamping shoes of exiting passengers. Shortly after an inbound aircraft has fully deplaned, and well-before boarding for the next flight is due, small swarms of A.O. will plant themselves in the boarding area, and commence feeding on the Elite Access Carpet. Though they may simply look as if they are standing around, looking bored, these efficient omnivores begin sucking sustenance through the feeding tubes located on the bottoms of their feet. A.O. are known to patiently feed in this manner for up to half-an-hour.

However, sudden vibration and activity are known to cause A.O. to swell in size and become disoriented. As Elite boarding is called, A.O. become confused, and press their obstructing, freshly-bloated selves towards the front of the queue. Many are often seen attempting to wriggle underneath the rope barriers demarcing the elite access lane. Freshly drunk on piles of detritus, A.O. are unable to read, or properly follow instructions. Like moths to a flame, they ponderously approach gate agents, hoping to sneak themselves and their many spawn onboard before First Class and Elite passengers.

Tips for handling Anoplura Obstructicus: A.O. should definitely not be handled by untrained persons. The Gate Agents are properly trained in how to reduce A.O. infestations, and have many years experience doing so. Attempting to remove an A.O. can result in their swelling even further, becoming intransigent, or even becoming dangerous. The calm, yet firm mantra of the GA: "sir, you'll have to stand over there until I call general boarding," works wonders to soothe these discombobulated beasts. Generally, this is enough to send an A.O. off to the adjacent holding area, where they either stand shame-faced, or barely manage to contain their growing discontent. Thankfully for most travelers, A.O. are not known to infest first or business class cabins, and are generally not found in exit rows.

The taxonomy of gate-lice is far from complete, and I would hope that other intrepid travelers can share their own observations from the field. Happy travels

IAHflyer

I picked up this snippet from a thread over on the UA forum:
The FT article have obviously made the rounds and it's nice to see what the interpretation of FT's mission seems to be...

CO 1E

A hearty bump to this thread.

I love a good Y-up.

Anglo Large Clawed Otter

I don't know where else to make this confession, but I <gasp> just booked a ticket on UA yesterday . I keep comforting myself by repeating in my head that it will earn me approximately 30,000 BD Miles.