If I've learned anything from years of listening to Neal Boortz it's that a story like yours is bound to bring out some angry people. Then again, this was an intereting choice of words on your part:
Joe Dimaggio, there was a handsome man.--George Costanza

Tod E Tosser: I know, I know...but I couldn't resist that one. I actually laughed when I typed the word! At least you caught the humor!

It is never wrong to be polite, friendly, and helpful where possible. And if we wind up up front, CELEBRATE! :D

First, I will say that I have no problem with you employing this technique to get an upgrade. But let's get back on point. Your original post started with the above quote.

You then concluded with the following question:

The point of your post seemed to change significantly from your statement on "absolute clarity" to the question you posed to the FT community. Most posters replied to your question about "polite and witty banter" and did not address your absolutely clear description of "making cheerful, playful, or vaguely sexual banter" with gate agents. Which one is correct in describing your "upgrade-flirts?"

...And it just gets better
 

Sadly, the emergency that brought me to Houston at the last minute in Coach-cum-BizFirst via the Upgrade Flirt now brings me to Houston again with the passing of a longtime friend. But he got a good laugh from the Upgrade Flirt story when I related to him, so now here's the update:

I did not get an upgrade on my return IAH - CDG after visiting my friend. But yesterday after arriving at CDG to check in for CO 11 to IAH, history began to repeat itself.

After receiving news that I needed to travel to Houston for the funeral services, I tried to book a BF ticket using OnePass miles. Incredibly, even in the dead of winter, I could not get a standard-reward BizFirst ticket, and I was going to have to use 200,000 miles for a SleazyPass if I wanted to go BizFirst. OR, I could pony up a mere $500 and go roundtrip in paid Coach, plus earn all the extra bonus miles for Plat Status, earn the Chase credit-card miles, plus the "3 trips in 3 months" targeted promotion miles...etc. Easy choice! I bought the Coach ticket and planned to take an ambien after dinner.

But lo and behold, when checking in at CDG in the BizFirst/Elite line, none other than Jean-Luc (the original object of the upgrade flirt) was working the line. Now I grant you, I was wearing the fab Guerlain sweater that I had admired on Jean-Luc when starting the original upgrade flirt conversation a few weeks ago -- and I had, in fact, bought one while back in Paris. Now, the cynics among you will carp that I wore that sweater precisely in hopes of seeing Jean-Luc and scoring another upgrade via flirt -- but that truly is not the case. I wore it because (1) it was cold, (2) it fits perfectly, (3) it's an awesome sweater, and (4) Mrs. LawFLyer would be picking me up at IAH, and the sweater tends to show off the gym-induced aspects that Mrs. LawFlyer still likes to look at after 14 years of marriage. (Hey, whatever works, right?)

As I approached the check-in desk, Jean-Luc actually began the upgrade flirt (though he would probably call it "excellent customer service") by calling me by name before he'd even seen my documents, then commenting on the sweater. I thanked him for the tip on where to find it in the city, and told him I'd really enjoyed it. I then thanked him for the previous trip's surprise upgrade. He shrugged it off and thanked me for being such a loyal customer. He noticed that my rez had been booked only 24 hours previously, and that I was flying on a "bereavement" fare; he said he was very sorry that I had lost someone close to me...and then suddenly, he was back on the sweater:

"You know, Monsieur LawFlyer, I was wearing the sweater across my shoulders. But you are wearing the sweater on your body." Pause... pause... then he said: "Lucky sweater."

Well, at THAT comment, I couldn't help but bust out a grin. I mean, it WAS really funny, especially in French. It's not quite as funny in English, but trust me, the guy had perfect timing with that line. Then taking up his lead, I made some flirty comment like, "If you could be anyone's clothes, whose clothes would you be?" He said, "That depends: shirt? or pants?" ...and on we went while he was checking me in and printing my boarding pass.

We finally concluded our business of checking in and he handed me my boarding pass tucked inside the jacket of my passport. Jean-Luc, being the gracious young man that he is, again wished me well on my journey, and again gave his sincere condolences for the loss of our friend. I then proceeded through security and Passport Control, and on to the gate.

I still had not looked at my boarding pass, instead checking the monitors for the correct gate number (which are more reliable than whatever is printed on the BP anyway). When the flight was called, the BF pax began boarding and I thought "Geez, it sure would be nice to stretch out in my normal 3D right about now..." but then I remembered that seat 3D would have cost either 200,000 OnePass miles, or nearly $6,000 in cash -- and I then thought, "But 17D is just fine for today, LawFlyer!"

And then who should appear in the boarding area: Jean-Luc. Now for those of you unfamiliar with CDG ops specifically (and EU out-station ops in general), I should explain that the check-in agents often re-appear at the gate area to assist with boarding and ticket-taking air-side after the flight has closed to check-in at the land-side counters. So Jean-Luc comes over to me and says (quite sincerely, and I was actually touched by his words) that I had looked quite sad at the check-in counter, and he hoped he had not offended me by trying to make light conversation despite my flying under quite sad circumstances. He went on to say that I was a valuable customer of CO and wondered if he could do anything else to assist me on this departure or my return.

I thanked him again for his concern, telling him I was happy to give CO my business, as I had for years, and likely would continue to do so, and that people like him made it an easy decision. He said, "Tres bien, alors. Bon voyage, Monsieur," and he gave me the traditional, non-sexual, totally platonic (and not unexpected under the circumstances) French parting gesture of the two air kisses on each cheek.

After a brief pause, he reminded me that I should board right away. I responded by saying, "No, they are still boarding BizFirst." And Jean-Luc said, "Oui! Allez-y!" ("Yeah -- so get going!") So I finally looked at my boarding pass, and I was sitting in 4D, my second favorite seat on the CO 777s. I didn't know what to say, really, but I mumbled an embarrassed "Merci, mon ami," and trundled myself onto CO 11.

So, in THIS case, was it the upgrade flirt? A pity upgrade for bereavement? Just "being nice" to a Plat? I must say, my view of the situation changed over the course of the checkin and boarding periods. It started off as good-natured humor, but ended up as a sincere gesture from a very kind employee that I appreciated greatly.

On the one hand, I realize that I (or my firm) give CO roughly $70,000 in revenue per year for my travel alone. Perhaps that is what got me ranked as a CO*, though I really have no idea how that happened. Following on from that, perhaps agents at longhaul outstations such as CDG and LGW have authority to upgrade CO*s or Plats to BizFirst under certain circumstances. I dunno. But on the other hand, I *certainly* do not feel I deserve such treatment at all. I paid for Coach, and I should sit in Coach barring unforseen problems such as a Coach oversell when it benefits CO to actually move me up to BizFirst based on some criteria they establish.

And yet I must admit that the whole situation this time around made me wonder whether I had unkindly (or unfairly) taken advantage of a very nice and caring CO employee. But I suppose the end result is this: I did sit in BizFirst, had a great flight, and I immediately dropped off a very nice Comment Card for Jean-Luc upon landing at IAH, and I've also written one in French to personally give to the station chief at CDG, whom I know well, upon my return.

I'm sorry that LawFlyer won't be at the Houston DO. If he were, I would be glad to post my take on his "flaming...gym-induced aspects." I would say more, but I would probably be banned from FT forever. I'd love to see this "fab" sweater. If all he says is true, I need one just like it--lots cheaper than paying for BF.

Nice account, LawFlyer.

Play fair, SushiBear!
 

Ahh, come on now -- Play fair, SushiBear! If you're gonna quote someone, truly quote them. I never wrote "flaming...gym-induced aspects" as you suggest in your post. Those are not my words. I wrote "gym-induced aspects," but you have radically changed the tone and content by attributing "flaming" to that sentence when it certainly does not exist in my post.

And by the way, judging from the PMs I've received as well as some of these posts, why is it that a man recognizing another man as being "good looking" or "in good shape" is somehow blasted with a gay undercurrent? That's just stupid. I think all men know if the guy standing next to them on the subway (or at the check-in counter for CO 11) is a fat slob with the features of a medieval troll (not that there's anything wrong with that ;) ) OR if he's got the body of a Greek God and the chiseled features if a matinee idol.

Further, being aware of how I am perceived physically is (perhaps sadly) a very real part of my job as a litigator. I suppose that I never do take that hat off completely, and spending half my time in Paris for many years has caused me to develop a very specific sense of dress-sense and style. To say that such things are somehow "gay" is amusing, and quite specifically American.

However, the real charge to bear is whether outright flirting with another man for an upgrade goes over the line of...well, I dunno...over the line of something. So for all of you who have asked or wondered, the answer is No, I'm not gay -- just observant.

(But hey -- I was in grad school once... :o ;) )

Re: "play fair sushibear...but you have radically changed the tone and content by attributing "flaming" to that sentence when it certainly does not exist in my post"


"I know, I know...but I couldn't resist that one. I actually laughed when I typed the word! At least you caught the humor!" (post#62) ;)

Emphasis added.

:eek: :( :rolleyes:

See Note, Facial Discrimination: Extending Handicap Law to Employment Discrimination on the Basis of Physical Appearance, 100 Harvard L. Rev. 2035 (1987).

Watch out. If you push too hard for jury appeal with that "jutting jaw" (common to all models and most Hollywood "celebrities"), the judge may take a dim view of your ethics and professionalism, and be less inclined to trust your legal arguments.

S'il vous plait
 

Comment dire "Lucky Sweater" en Francais?

If have seen a few non-elites even get upgraded this way.

I used to work with a shady individual who claimed that he would flash a $50 bill in front of the agent when he would ask for an upgrade. He would quickly switch the $50 for a $10 bill making sure the agent did not see the switch. If he was upgraded he would then give the agent the folded $10 bill. The agent was too embarrased to do anything.

I could never do anything like this but I am sure stuff ike this occurs.

I too am sad that LawFlyer cant join us at the event. I enjoy most of his posts, with this thread being extremely well written and well, freaking hysterical. Especially for a litigator! :D

And, more importantly, please do not apologize for assimilating the french sense of style or an appreciating the finer things in life. Straight, gay, metrosexual or otherwise! I just wish Mrs. MBM3 and I had the time and $$$ to spend 1/10th of the time you spend in Paris!

^ ^

What, litigators can't write?! :mad:

I'm sure all those contracts turn transactional attorneys into delightful wordsmiths. ;)

Wordsmiths? I guess so since it seems they get paid by the darn word! And to think I work with them every day!