Elvis is not dead
 

He is now working for TSA checking IDs at EWR on checkpoint C-3.

Has anyone seen this guy?? He is working there this morning. His toupee is (no joke) at least 7 inches tall. Just awesome. :D He was the only guy I have ever seen that checks every ID with a magnifying glass too. I wanted to take a picture so bad...

So what you are saying is...elvis is not dead, he is just very blind.

Are you sure it's a toupee and that this is not Marge Simpson cross-gendering?

I "Got My Mojo Working" or "There Ain't Nothing Like A Song"...
 

So, carvalh2, keeping in mind It's a Sin to Tell a Lie, ;) let me see if I understand this: Just Pretend you’re in EWR, in the line for the Cattle Call approaching the check point, thinking It's Carnival Time! You’re wearing your Blue Suede Shoes (or was it High Heel Sneakers?) and, like so many of us with Suspicious Minds thinking that this ID checking is Too Much Monkey Business, too much Make Believe and It's a Matter of Time before it makes you want to Stay Away. (well, Welcome to My World...) you finally find that you’re First in Line.

You step up to him and “Elvis” croons “As Long as I Have You, well, You Gotta Stop” and asks you “For the Millionth and the Last Time, but Don't Ask Me Why, I want to see your ID so I can figure out if you’re the Devil in Disguise or some other sorta’ T-R-O-U-B-L-E.”

“Why Me, Lord?” :rolleyes: is your first thought and you’re contemplating Steppin' out of Line, and think about asking: “Do You Know Who I Am? What is this? Are You Lonesome Tonight?” (yeah, I know, you saw that coming a mile away...well, enjoy... We're Coming In Loaded here!)

Anyway, not wanting to have to do the Jailhouse Rock, you said instead, “I Beg of You, let’s Just Pretend you don’t work on the Edge of Reality Because I’m just hoping I Shall Be Released to make my flight!"

Did you explain you were on a simple MR through Memphis, Tennessee and would then be taking the Frankfort Special through Guadalajara because you didn’t have any Fun in Acapulco the last time even though they say You Can't Say No in Acapulco?

Ya’ know, for that last 500 Miles just so you can say “I'm Gonna Walk Dem Golden Stairs” to Elite Status (rather than sitting In the Ghetto ...ooooh! ), it might have been easier to go to Nothingville than all the way to Mexico to see something like a Hawaiian Sunset and wouldn’t it be easier to get EQM for things like staying at (ok, you knew this one was coming, too... :D ) the Heartbreak Hotel? Well, we can Talk About The Good Times traveling later, but back at the checkpoint...

Did “Elvis” say “I'll Never Stand in Your Way” or did he wave his Crazy Arms and take you to “secondary” Just Because? I thought so... OK, at “secondary," did you tell him, “Don't Be Cruel, please Release Me so I can Get Back on my MR with my Long Legged Girl (With the Short Dress On)?”

Oh, wait! I missed the part where you had THREE traveling companions: Sweet Angeline, Sweet Caroline and Sweet Leilani ... that’s some Sweet Inspirations, carvalh2! ^

So "Elvis" told you he wanted to give you an intimate pat-down and said “Don’t worry, I Washed My Hands in Muddy Water.” And you’re thinking “Uuuugh! He Touched Me! Now I got that Dirty, Dirty Feeling I so wish he’d kept his Hands off ” and “Is it So Strange he’s rubbing me like this?” Then you hear “Elvis” whisper in your ear Scratch My Back (Then I'll Scratch Yours)... Until It's Time For You To Go.”

I know, you felt like a Puppet on a String but he finally said “Somebody Bigger Than You And I said you should Go East Young Man so now you can go” and you were thinking: “If We Never Meet Again...” Then you ran from the checkpoint looking for your traveling companions yelling “Girls! Girls! Girls!” ...Do I have all that right? :confused:

Well, I’ve been Doin' the Best I Can here but it’s Funny How Time Slips Away so I must be off. In any case, I think there’s now ample proof Elvis was probably like us and would have been an FT member... after all he even sang: “Love Me, Love The Life I Lead. ^

ok, two more....
 

Say It Isn't So, it would be a shame because There Is So Much World To See.

Bravo. ^ Well done rustyhaight.

Well done! ^

Very impressive.....:cool:

Plus plus.

Wow +500

Wow that was amazing! Thanks for that! Great start to my week in Mia!

Hummm now you have me second guessing myself! Oh and happy 100th post to me! :D

Wonder if he's related to the Elvis I've seen on LBB-IAH flights several times? That one and his wife are really classy. You can smell the cigarettes and booze on them from about 15 feet away, and he practices during flight by singing along to his iPod, which is playing Elvis songs.

The real Elvis would be 75 years old. The Wasy he was porking up he probably would be 1500+ lb without any of his rhinestone uniforms.

MisterNice

All: thanks ... You know THIS is required ... and, of course. :D